Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby Clayton Bigsby » 10 Jan 2017, 17:25

Post a video/song of music that white people, and probably only white people like. And mb mb will post his thoughts. One at a time, please... don't overload him!

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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby mister bacon » 10 Jan 2017, 22:22

Clayton Bigsby wrote:Post a video/song of music that white people, and probably only white people like. And mb mb will post his thoughts. One at a time, please... don't overload him!



despite what you may have heard, i have a deep appreciation for the women music of whites. since my people invented pretty much everything cool and good about american music (and let's be real.. american culture) i see your feeble attempts at music that strays from what we created as mildly amusing. much in the same was as you love your 3-year-old's crayon drawing of giant turds that he tells you are supposed to be a picture of you and your wife. all you can say is bless your heart because you know he's trying and it's cute.

now i'm not familiar with gram parsons. i know he's not made up because his brother (cousin?) alan parsons and his project created the intro music for the 90s bulls team, starring mj and four other guys. that was ok. but this guy's work.. not so much. after listening to this track i won't be exploring his catalog further.

first of all, what is up with white men's obsession with solitary lives lived in nature and the fucking country? henry thorough, ted kazinski, and like a million countries guys rant and rave about how great it is. fuck that shit. i guess you hate coming into contact with other people because you think it makes you soooooooooooo tough and a "real man" to not have to "rely on others or the government" to live? give me a fuckin break. any song that wails on about the beautiful country is so fuckin lame.

so anyways, the guitar work in the song was alright. love a steel guitar. the rhythm section sucked though. the beat gets lost around 1/3 of the way into the song and there's no bass at all whatsoever in the song. i just saw true detective for the first time. it reminded me of an actual redneck i knew (he's now a cop in tuscaloosa lol) who told me that "country line dancing is for faggots" in the first conversation i ever had with him. i don't really care if its a man dancing with another man, but my question is how the fuck does ANYONE dance to this shit? no wonder you people have no rhythm. if i grew up in a household listening to shit like this i'd probably hate people who could dance too. it would scare me.

and then the vocals.. jesus christ. there's some sort of pitchy attempt at harmony between the broad singing with him and gram and it's simply dreadful. now as opposed to dancing i know that white people ARE capable of harmonizing. not sure what happened here. this sounds like sid vicious and nancy spungeouns shot up and then fucked a few cats together. horrible.

i made it through the entire song, twice. for that i give it a point for each time i did. so this song gets 2 newports out of 10.

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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby Rodney Farva » 11 Jan 2017, 01:22

i count 4 newports in that pic.
You coin contrarian bro and say shit nonsense like this.
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby TheWolf » 11 Jan 2017, 05:27

I hope that response lived up to Gregs Kite's expectations in terms of its general Mister Baconness. I was pretty impressed by it myself.

As the resident fan of shitty music and whiteness, I gotta say... that song was a steaming pile of horseshit. The fuck is wrong with white people?
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby Clayton Bigsby » 11 Jan 2017, 06:48

thank you mb. That was beyond what I had hoped for

I am a big fan of gram parsons. The broad in that is Emmylou Harris. Wolf's disdain validates my opinion. I think.
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby babylurch » 11 Jan 2017, 07:39

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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby JichaelDick » 11 Jan 2017, 08:37

No, lurch. Play the correct version of the song. Not some Long Island hippie version that gets half the words wrong...



(Most predictable Jike music taek ever, right?)
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 11 Jan 2017, 08:44

JichaelDick wrote:No, lurch. Play the correct version of the song. Not some Long Island hippie version that gets half the words wrong...



(Most predictable Jike music taek ever, right?)

*looks over taek*

No, no shots at the Beatles at all, so not the MOST predictable
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby JichaelDick » 11 Jan 2017, 09:02

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
JichaelDick wrote:No, lurch. Play the correct version of the song. Not some Long Island hippie version that gets half the words wrong...



(Most predictable Jike music taek ever, right?)

*looks over taek*

No, no shots at the Beatles at all, so not the MOST predictable


Touche.

I can forgive a lot. But "Stoneman's cavalry" becoming "so much cavalry" isn't one of them. Damn it, Joan.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby babylurch » 11 Jan 2017, 11:01

JichaelDick wrote:No, lurch. Play the correct version of the song. Not some Long Island hippie version that gets half the words wrong...



(Most predictable Jike music taek ever, right?)

Jike, there was a point behind choosing that version. I wanted to get MB's take before discussing it.
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby JichaelDick » 11 Jan 2017, 15:51

Gotcha.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby Goose » 11 Jan 2017, 16:03

Nice swerve by Bacon. He gives one of the most MB answers ever (sans Beatles hate, as noted) and then gives us the perfect Norv rating system.

I hardily approve of this approach.
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby mister bacon » 12 Jan 2017, 09:14

babylurch wrote:


another thing white people love is the confederacy. i guess it's because they feel like there is glory in having fought and lost for something they care about as much as they care about the systematic killing and rape of black people. it's the honor of fighting for a lost cause. this song, unfortunately, marks another landmark in this tired genre of american fiction. it attempts to drench in glory a man who fought to keep my family as slaves. everyone who supports this idea that the confederacy was noble in any way shape or form can eat as bushel of black cocks. he dies at the end and thats the best part of the song. my only critique of it is i wish we had more details of how painful and slow his death was to amuse me. that would have also made it more historically accurate but lost causers aren't really concerned with facts so w.e.

joan's voice is beautiful but is wasted on a song about a piece of shit who fought and died for the worst stain on the american soul. i loved the choral back-up harmony that happens about 40% of the way into the song. strong dislike that they would disrespect the fine art of gospel (yet another of america's finest cultural innovations created by black people but i digress) by overlaying its harmonies on top of a song about enslaving its very creators. disgusting.

the song features a few steel guitar licks and some decent keys (i think). but the real star of this song is that luscious and thick bass line that drives the song forward while simultaneously creating an affecting melody. good stuff. the shuffle drums nicely compliment it.

joan's voice is not bad, but she's gotta choose a better showcase for it next time around. i am not opposed to exploring more in her back catalog a bit more. unlike our prior selection this is actually listenable, and didn't make me want to drill a hole in my head. i give this 4 out of 10 newports.

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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby JichaelDick » 12 Jan 2017, 11:26

TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Ebony on Ivory: mister bacon reviews white people music

Postby Frank the Tank » 16 Jan 2017, 20:22

mister bacon wrote:joan's voice is beautiful but is wasted on a song about a piece of shit who fought and died for the worst stain on the american soul.


Joan Baez wrote a song about a person who died for Call Me Maybe?
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