The Karaeoke Machine

Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby JichaelDick » 26 Mar 2008, 22:56

Break 'em

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from a girl wanna dig out
Hooked it up on later as I hit the do'
Thinking will i live, another twenty-fo'
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop at a red light
Looking in my mirror not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin y'all
Which court, are y'all playin basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freaking niggas everyway like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day

Drove to the pad and hit the showers
Didn't even get no static from the cowards
Cause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me
Saw the police and they rolled right past me
No flexin, didn't even look in a niggaz direction
as I ran the intersection
Went to $hort Dog's house, they was watchin Yo! MTV Raps
What's the haps on the craps
Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em
Roll em in a circle of niggaz and watch me break em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Seven even back do' lil Joe I picked up the cash flow
Then we played bones, and I'm yellin domino.
Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.
Today was a good day

Left my niggaz house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin to fuck since the twelve grade
It's ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
I felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my dick runs deep so deep so deep
put her ass to sleep
Woke her up around one
she didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
Drove her to the pad and I'm coasting
Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
I was glad everything had worked out
Dropped her ass off, then I chirped out
Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashing those high beams
No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the fat burger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read Ice Cube's a pimp
Drunk as hell but no throwing up
Half way home and my pager still blowing up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I got to say it was a good day.

Hey wait, wait a minute Pooh
Stop the shit
What the fuck am I thinking about?
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 27 Mar 2008, 11:12

Ice Cube wrote:Called up the homies and I'm askin y'all
Which court, are y'all playin basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freaking niggas everyway like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day


Possibly the greatest verse in the history of rap.
Then again, is it better than this?

before Ice Cube sold out he wrote:Left my niggaz house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin to fuck since the twelve grade
It's ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
I felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my dick runs deep so deep so deep
put her ass to sleep
Woke her up around one
she didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby D'Annunzio » 27 Mar 2008, 11:16

This leads to an interesting question. Who keeps their stats in a pick-up basketball game? Do you think he had the standard points, rebounds, assists triple double? Or did he manage 10+ steals? Or blocks?
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby nova » 27 Mar 2008, 11:26

D'Annunzio wrote:This leads to an interesting question. Who keeps their stats in a pick-up basketball game? Do you think he had the standard points, rebounds, assists triple double? Or did he manage 10+ steals? Or blocks?


Likely steals, since Ice Cube is on the shorter side.
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby D'Annunzio » 27 Mar 2008, 11:28

nasty nova wrote:
D'Annunzio wrote:This leads to an interesting question. Who keeps their stats in a pick-up basketball game? Do you think he had the standard points, rebounds, assists triple double? Or did he manage 10+ steals? Or blocks?


Likely steals, since Ice Cube is on the shorter side.


And because brothers don't pass in pick-up hoops.
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 27 Mar 2008, 11:47

there are probably 5-6 songs on that album that were better than this one. it was a good day though was obviously the most mtv-friendly.
Gregs Kite - Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:55 pm: I hate DJ and his stupid face and hes so stupid and I want to punch him
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 27 Mar 2008, 12:01

D'Annunzio wrote:This leads to an interesting question. Who keeps their stats in a pick-up basketball game? Do you think he had the standard points, rebounds, assists triple double? Or did he manage 10+ steals? Or blocks?


Turnovers, walks, and calling foul on the white chump guarding him
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 27 Mar 2008, 12:05

Iron Mike Sharpe wrote:
D'Annunzio wrote:This leads to an interesting question. Who keeps their stats in a pick-up basketball game? Do you think he had the standard points, rebounds, assists triple double? Or did he manage 10+ steals? Or blocks?


Turnovers, walks, and calling foul on the white chump guarding him


i'm guessing ice cube thinks calling fouls in pickup games is for pussies.
Gregs Kite - Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:55 pm: I hate DJ and his stupid face and hes so stupid and I want to punch him
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby Colonel Angus » 27 Mar 2008, 13:13

Wow, outstanding question by D'Annunzio - I never considered that. And great answers so far. It makes even less sense that he "fucked around" and got a triple-double - I mean, great for him that it took very little effort, but if he was really just "fucking around" then he wouldn't have been keeping track of his stats, would he?
"Isn't it no, baas or something? That's how I read it in a boxing book. It's South African or something."
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 27 Mar 2008, 13:19

Maybe he was high and didn't realize he was actually playing against 8-year-olds.
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 27 Mar 2008, 14:04

Colonel Angus wrote:Wow, outstanding question by D'Annunzio - I never considered that. And great answers so far. It makes even less sense that he "fucked around" and got a triple-double - I mean, great for him that it took very little effort, but if he was really just "fucking around" then he wouldn't have been keeping track of his stats, would he?


You serious, Clark? [/Cousin Eddie]
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby DirtDawg » 07 Apr 2008, 12:24

Colonel Angus wrote:Wow, outstanding question by D'Annunzio - I never considered that. And great answers so far. It makes even less sense that he "fucked around" and got a triple-double - I mean, great for him that it took very little effort, but if he was really just "fucking around" then he wouldn't have been keeping track of his stats, would he?


niggas don't keep stats in pick up hoops. your real measure of success is how well you can clown the chump guarding you or how well you show off to the honeys standing on the sideline, watching the men run ball.

the famous/infamous triple-double reference is simply a slight bit of hyperbole, punctuating a poignant song rife with male braggadocio and thinly veiled misogyny.
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby Colonel Angus » 07 Apr 2008, 13:33

DirtDawg wrote:
Colonel Angus wrote:Wow, outstanding question by D'Annunzio - I never considered that. And great answers so far. It makes even less sense that he "fucked around" and got a triple-double - I mean, great for him that it took very little effort, but if he was really just "fucking around" then he wouldn't have been keeping track of his stats, would he?


niggas don't keep stats in pick up hoops. your real measure of success is how well you can clown the chump guarding you or how well you show off to the honeys standing on the sideline, watching the men run ball.

the famous/infamous triple-double reference is simply a slight bit of hyperbole, punctuating a poignant song rife with male braggadocio and thinly veiled misogyny.


Wow, you must go to Harvard.
"Isn't it no, baas or something? That's how I read it in a boxing book. It's South African or something."
- _, on Roberto Duran.
_ - Sun Jan 31 5:06 pm:
"it was such a sexy goal, that punched me right in the balls. metaphorically"
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby JichaelDick » 07 Apr 2008, 13:36

Leavin' Sacramento
Sacramento, there I go
Leavin' Sacramento,
Sacramento, there I go
They got some fat-ass women,
And the Rock is gonna just say no

Well, I might catch a plane
I might catch a train
How do you people live here
You must be insane

Leavin' Sacramento,
Sacramento, I won't stay
But I'll be sure to come back
When the Lakers beat the Kings in May
Yeah, I'll be sure to come back
When the Lakers beat the Kings in May
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: The Karaeoke Machine

Postby CourtesyFlush » 25 Apr 2008, 07:36

You're back now at the jackoff hour
This is DJ, Eazy Dick

On W-Balls, right now, somethin' new
By Snoop Doggy Dogg
And this one goes out to the ladies
From all the guys

A big bow wow wow
'Cause we gonna make it a little mystery here tonight
This is DJ Eazy Dick, on the station that
Slaps you across your fat ass, with a fat dick

When I met ya last night baby
Before you opened up your gap
I had a respect for you, lady
But now I take it all back
'Cause ya gave me all your pussy
And you even licked my balls.
Leave your number on cabinet
And I promise baby I give you a call
Next time I'm feelin' kinda horny
You come on over and I'll break you off.
And if you can't fuck that day baby
Just lay back and open up your mouth

Cause I have neeeever met a girl
That I loved in the whole wide world.

Well if Kurupt gave a fuck about a bitch I'd always be broke
I'd never have no mother fuckin' endo to smoke
I get loked and looney
Bitch you can't do me
Do we look like BBD you hoochie groupie?
I have no love for hoes
That's somethin' that I learned in the pound
So how the fuck am I supposed to pay this ho
Just to lay this ho
I know the pussy's mine so I'ma fuck it a couple more times
And then I'm through with it--there's nothing else to do with it
Pass it to the homie--now you hit it
Cause she ain't nothing but a bitch to me
And ya'll know the bitches ain't shit to me
I gives a fuck; why don't y'all pay attention
Approach her with a different proposition
I'm Kurupt, ho, you'll never be my only one
Trick-ass biiitch

It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none

Guess who's back in the motherfuckin' house with a fat dick for your
motherfuckin' mouth?

Hoes recognize, niggas do too, 'cause when bitches get scandalous and
pull a voodoo
Whatcha gon' do? You really don't know.
So I'd advice you not to trust that hoe.
Silly of me to fall in love with a bitch
Knowin' damn well she caught up with my grip
Now as the sun rotates and my game grows bigger
How many bitches wanna fuck this nigga named Snoop Doggy.
I'm all the above
I'm too swift on my toes to get caught up with you hoes
But see, it ain't no fun if my homies can't get a taste of it
Cause you know I don't love it.

Woooo
Yeaaah

Now ya know--inhale, exhale with my flow
One for the money, two for the bitches, three to get ready, four to hit
the switches
In my Chevy, six-fo' Rad to be exact
With bitches on my side and bitches on my back
So back up bitch because I'm strugglin'
Just get on your knees and start jugglin'
These muthafuckin' nuts in ya mouth
It's me Warren G--the nigga with the clout.

It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
Gregs Kite - Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:24 pm: I don't know, my Wolfpack can be sneaky good in these games

JichaelDick - Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:47 am: Fulsh, you truly are the best North Carolinian ever. Sorry, Andy Griffith.
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