America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 04 Dec 2017, 22:46

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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby God Shamgod » 30 Dec 2017, 13:57

Florida Man booby traps home to electrocute pregnant wipe.

How many sonz have tried this?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/12/29/florida-man-accused-rigging-door-to-his-home-to-electrocute-pregnant-wife.html
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby mister bacon » 30 Dec 2017, 14:01

God Shamgod wrote:Florida Man booby traps home to electrocute pregnant wipe.

How many sonz have tried this?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/12/29/florida-man-accused-rigging-door-to-his-home-to-electrocute-pregnant-wife.html




white on white crime smh

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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby BigJohnStudd » 31 Dec 2017, 18:24

God Shamgod wrote:Florida Man booby traps home to electrocute pregnant wipe.

How many sonz have tried this?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/12/29/florida-man-accused-rigging-door-to-his-home-to-electrocute-pregnant-wife.html


Was his name Kevin McCallister?
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby TheWolf » 03 Jan 2018, 12:48

I just heard a Patton Oswalt bit that called Florida America's ballsack. Ive heard it before but never made the connection. Did he inspire this thread title? Does he come here? Or is that just what everyone calls it so it's nothing more than a coincidence?
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 03 Jan 2018, 12:54

TheWolf wrote:I just heard a Patton Oswalt bit that called Florida America's ballsack. Ive heard it before but never made the connection. Did he inspire this thread title? Does he come here? Or is that just what everyone calls it so it's nothing more than a coincidence?


Coincidence, though I usually hear it called America's dick more than anything.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby TheWolf » 03 Jan 2018, 12:59

MisterTambourineMan wrote:
TheWolf wrote:I just heard a Patton Oswalt bit that called Florida America's ballsack. Ive heard it before but never made the connection. Did he inspire this thread title? Does he come here? Or is that just what everyone calls it so it's nothing more than a coincidence?


Coincidence, though I usually hear it called America's dick more than anything.


That's actually the premise of his bit. It's hacky to call it America's dick. Maine is America's weird stubby dick (sadly he doesn't call it a choad), and Florida is the sack.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby Gregs Kite » 03 Jan 2018, 13:07

TheWolf wrote:
MisterTambourineMan wrote:
TheWolf wrote:I just heard a Patton Oswalt bit that called Florida America's ballsack. Ive heard it before but never made the connection. Did he inspire this thread title? Does he come here? Or is that just what everyone calls it so it's nothing more than a coincidence?


Coincidence, though I usually hear it called America's dick more than anything.


That's actually the premise of his bit. It's hacky to call it America's dick. Maine is America's weird stubby dick (sadly he doesn't call it a choad), and Florida is the sack.


Image

Kudos to the clever chap who named this thread.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby mj3528 » 22 Jan 2018, 12:22

Drunk people just always want Taco Bell. Nova agrees.

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-citrus-hernando/florida-man-arrested-for-dui-after-mistaking-bank-drive-thru-for-taco-bell

According to the Hernando County Sheriff's Office, the manager of Bank of America on Mariner Boulevard called to report an impaired driver after he found an unconscious man behind the wheel of a blue sedan in the bank's drive-thru lane.

The manager told deputies that after beating on the car window for "some time," he was able to wake up the driver.

Upon waking up, the driver asked the bank manager for a burrito before driving away after being informed he was not at Taco Bell.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby nova » 08 Feb 2018, 16:49

Child gets stuck in claw machine.

Fun fact: I have been to this Beef O' Brady's. They were out of beer. On a football Saturday in September.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby mister bacon » 08 Feb 2018, 17:48

nova wrote:Child gets stuck in claw machine.

Fun fact: I have been to this Beef O' Brady's. They were out of beer. On a football Saturday in September.



fun fact: they weren't out of beer, they were cutting you off.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby TheWolf » 08 Feb 2018, 17:53

mister bacon wrote:
nova wrote:Child gets stuck in claw machine.

Fun fact: I have been to this Beef O' Brady's. They were out of beer. On a football Saturday in September.



fun fact: they weren't out of beer, they were cutting you off.


I laughed.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby nova » 09 Feb 2018, 10:26

mister bacon wrote:
nova wrote:Child gets stuck in claw machine.

Fun fact: I have been to this Beef O' Brady's. They were out of beer. On a football Saturday in September.



fun fact: they weren't out of beer, they were cutting you off.


No, no. They were saying "Boo-urns".
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby God Shamgod » 11 Feb 2018, 19:13

http://www.tampabay.com/sold-everything-to-sail-the-world-boat-sank-next-day

This story is right up there with the Fyre Festival for me as far as reading about idiots. Especially the way they frame it is a tragedy. Like it was some retired couple living their dream and putting all their retirement into it. It's about a couple 24 year old morons "tired of the rat race" that sell all their possessions (a whopping 5k) to buy a 50 year old boat and sail around the world with $90 in their pocket despite having no sailing experience or insurance on the boat. Boat sinks on day 2 in the channel right next to the marina. Would have surely died if they managed to get to open water. Now there is a gofundme to buy them another boat of course.

This really hits home for me because my dad planned to do the same thing until my step brother and I wrecked his boat while filming a music video.
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Re: America's Ballsack: The Florida News Thread

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 11 Feb 2018, 20:29

Need to hear more about his music video.
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