Best Stand-Up Bits

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 02 May 2017, 15:18

Goose wrote:
Frank the Tank wrote:
the cheese wrote:binge drinking is bad for a woman. and for a man.


STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!!


It's not binge drinking if you do it all the time.


This typically happens when men consume 5 or more drinks, and when women consume 4 or more drinks, in about 2 hours.


Sexism.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby SouthernYokel » 02 May 2017, 15:20

5 drinks in 2 hours, what is this, BD's church? i thought we were going to party
JT99 wrote:imagine working your entire board life on being a guy investigating every nook and cranny of others' sexual lives only to have some drunken baboon stumble into the r&t jackpot
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Gregs Kite » 09 May 2017, 07:37

Chris Rock wrote a movie about cheating on his wife with Kerry Washington. You'll never GUESS what happened next!
You fuckers ruined kite.

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

Frank the Tank wrote:If I die I leave my red font to Kite.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby TheWolf » 09 May 2017, 07:58

Gregs Kite wrote:Chris Rock wrote a movie about cheating on his wife with Kerry Washington. You'll never GUESS what happened next!


Chris Rock wrote:Would I ever get married again? Not if it would cure AIDS.


Smart man.
"our kayaking guy sucked and came last"
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Briandong79 » 09 May 2017, 08:21

TheWolf wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:Chris Rock wrote a movie about cheating on his wife with Kerry Washington. You'll never GUESS what happened next!


Chris Rock wrote:Would I ever get married again? Not if it would cure AIDS.


Smart man.


No kidding, AIDS is already cured.

Image
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 09 May 2017, 08:38

Briandong79 wrote:
TheWolf wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:Chris Rock wrote a movie about cheating on his wife with Kerry Washington. You'll never GUESS what happened next!


Chris Rock wrote:Would I ever get married again? Not if it would cure AIDS.


Smart man.


No kidding, AIDS is already cured.

Image


Image
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

"i'm relatively confident her asshole" - Farva
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Briandong79 » 11 May 2017, 11:07

Image
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 11 May 2017, 11:10

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby TheWolf » 11 May 2017, 11:51

I heard a Carlin bit today where he was talking about not liking his first name growing up. He referred to it as "pretty far down the list in terms of automatically getting laid just based on your name." I suppose it's easier if you're pretty.
"our kayaking guy sucked and came last"
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby SouthernYokel » 11 May 2017, 13:34

TheWolf wrote:I heard a Carlin bit today where he was talking about not liking his first name growing up. He referred to it as "pretty far down the list in terms of automatically getting laid just based on your name." I suppose it's easier if you're pretty.


it is a bad name, he is correct.
JT99 wrote:imagine working your entire board life on being a guy investigating every nook and cranny of others' sexual lives only to have some drunken baboon stumble into the r&t jackpot
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Dthefritz » 11 May 2017, 17:54

SouthernYokel wrote:
TheWolf wrote:I heard a Carlin bit today where he was talking about not liking his first name growing up. He referred to it as "pretty far down the list in terms of automatically getting laid just based on your name." I suppose it's easier if you're pretty.


it is a bad name, he is correct.

I'm not one of those toolbags who insists everything sounds way better in a British accent cause OMG they're so classy, but George definitely fits in that category.

Is that part of the same bit where he rants about "soft" names like Todd? That's one of my favorites of his.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby TheWolf » 11 May 2017, 20:44

It was a Different bit. Or if it was the same, Comedy Central radio cut it off before it got to the Todd stuff. But I know what you're talking about, and I also enjoy that bit.
"our kayaking guy sucked and came last"
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 12 May 2017, 08:53

Someone posted this this morning on Facebook. I gotta see this guy!

So I saw Gilbert Gottfried last night. He is so friggin dirty and racist. I've never laughed so goddamn hard at a comedy set in my life!
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

"i'm relatively confident her asshole" - Farva
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 12 May 2017, 10:19

Watching the norm special now (ty t-mobile in-flight wifi) he tells a suicide note joke very, very similar to one that was on jim nortons special. Don't think either of them are joke stealers, probably a weird coincidence I guess :-k

ETA:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
and a bit from bo (or someone else here?) about teachers
Gregs Kite - Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:55 pm: I hate DJ and his stupid face and hes so stupid and I want to punch him
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby TheWolf » 12 May 2017, 12:40

Dr Jeckyll wrote:Watching the norm special now (ty t-mobile in-flight wifi) he tells a suicide note joke very, very similar to one that was on jim nortons special. Don't think either of them are joke stealers, probably a weird coincidence I guess :-k

ETA:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
and a bit from bo (or someone else here?) about teachers


I listened to part of it this morning. Good stuff so far. I liked the suicide jokes, didn't recognize one being similar to norton's. Can you enlighten me?
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