Best Stand-Up Bits

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby mister bacon » 12 May 2017, 13:02

SouthernYokel wrote:a de-wormer? i need bacon to come in here and tell me how adding a cattle de-worming drug to cocaine is going to make it more fun.



it doesn't. but it's consistency, flavor, and effect upon snorting doesn't distract or detract the user from the cocaine they think it is. we've all seen the wire. it's used, along with baby laxative, as a means to "stretch" coke so you can squeeze more profits out of a brick. no one has any idea what is in the coke they are snorting, unless you're getting in colombia.

fun fact: a buddy of mine went to the mountains of colombia on vacation and decided to do some puro at elevation. the purity of that blow, plus the thinness of the air, made him think he was going to die. he didn't do but three or four line. and was up until 6am all paranoid and shit.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby SouthernYokel » 12 May 2017, 13:18

mister bacon wrote:
SouthernYokel wrote:a de-wormer? i need bacon to come in here and tell me how adding a cattle de-worming drug to cocaine is going to make it more fun.



it doesn't. but it's consistency, flavor, and effect upon snorting doesn't distract or detract the user from the cocaine they think it is. we've all seen the wire. it's used, along with baby laxative, as a means to "stretch" coke so you can squeeze more profits out of a brick. no one has any idea what is in the coke they are snorting, unless you're getting in colombia.

fun fact: a buddy of mine went to the mountains of colombia on vacation and decided to do some puro at elevation. the purity of that blow, plus the thinness of the air, made him think he was going to die. he didn't do but three or four line. and was up until 6am all paranoid and shit.


oh so it's baking powder. ty.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby mister bacon » 12 May 2017, 13:22

baking soda is used to cook cocaine into crack not to stretch it. if you cut coke with baking powder people will be able to taste it during the drip. they use laxative and the cattle shit because even with that stuff in it it still tastes and tingles like regular coke. not so with baking soda.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 12 May 2017, 16:35

TheWolf wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:Watching the norm special now (ty t-mobile in-flight wifi) he tells a suicide note joke very, very similar to one that was on jim nortons special. Don't think either of them are joke stealers, probably a weird coincidence I guess :-k

ETA:

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and a bit from bo (or someone else here?) about teachers


I listened to part of it this morning. Good stuff so far. I liked the suicide jokes, didn't recognize one being similar to norton's. Can you enlighten me?


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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BigJohnStudd » 13 May 2017, 13:18

Dr Jeckyll wrote:
TheWolf wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:Watching the norm special now (ty t-mobile in-flight wifi) he tells a suicide note joke very, very similar to one that was on jim nortons special. Don't think either of them are joke stealers, probably a weird coincidence I guess :-k

ETA:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
and a bit from bo (or someone else here?) about teachers


I listened to part of it this morning. Good stuff so far. I liked the suicide jokes, didn't recognize one being similar to norton's. Can you enlighten me?




2 months apart. Given the necessary taping/productions dates, it's possible Jim was stealing from Norm. We need to dig deeper.

ETA: Jim's special taped Dec. 17, 2016, in NYC. Norm's taped Jan. 28, 2017, in Boston. Did Jim workshop this bit on radio first, then? Was Norm in NYC? I must know. If Norm stole it, how did he steal it?

EATA: Norton's "Mouthful of Shame" tour ran from at least September, and some of those dates may also have been taped for the special! Holy shit, how deep does this go???
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 15 May 2017, 21:29

I say they stole it from Schumer.

He's a bit that was in no way stolen.

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Goose » 16 May 2017, 09:20

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:I say they stole it from Schumer.

He's a bit that was in no way stolen.



Balls, you may be right. I think I even found the guy he stole the bit from.

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby TheWolf » 16 May 2017, 09:27

Do you think Dice gets mad that Gilbert's Dice impression is way funnier than actual Dice?
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 16 May 2017, 10:23

BigJohnStudd wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:
TheWolf wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:Watching the norm special now (ty t-mobile in-flight wifi) he tells a suicide note joke very, very similar to one that was on jim nortons special. Don't think either of them are joke stealers, probably a weird coincidence I guess :-k

ETA:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
and a bit from bo (or someone else here?) about teachers


I listened to part of it this morning. Good stuff so far. I liked the suicide jokes, didn't recognize one being similar to norton's. Can you enlighten me?




2 months apart. Given the necessary taping/productions dates, it's possible Jim was stealing from Norm. We need to dig deeper.

ETA: Jim's special taped Dec. 17, 2016, in NYC. Norm's taped Jan. 28, 2017, in Boston. Did Jim workshop this bit on radio first, then? Was Norm in NYC? I must know. If Norm stole it, how did he steal it?

EATA: Norton's "Mouthful of Shame" tour ran from at least September, and some of those dates may also have been taped for the special! Holy shit, how deep does this go???


thewolf: pls get on this, need to find out who's stealing from who or if it's just coincidental. norm was hilarious, it wasn't all new material is the only minor complaint.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby TheWolf » 16 May 2017, 10:28

The internet is full of speculation, with most people generally believing it's a coincidence. Neither of these guys strikes me as a joke stealer, but those bits are based on the exact same premise which certainly seems sketchy. I also found someone on reddit saying that they both had a bit about Washington's cherry tree as well, which I don't remember from Norton but I do remember Norm's because I just heard it a couple days ago.

I'll keep digging.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 16 May 2017, 11:31

TheWolf wrote:The internet is full of speculation, with most people generally believing it's a coincidence. Neither of these guys strikes me as a joke stealer, but those bits are based on the exact same premise which certainly seems sketchy. I also found someone on reddit saying that they both had a bit about Washington's cherry tree as well, which I don't remember from Norton but I do remember Norm's because I just heard it a couple days ago.

I'll keep digging.


It is going to be awesome when all you Norm-stooges find out he stole the joke.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby the cheese » 16 May 2017, 13:26

In a just world, Norm would be in the right and we would all flay Jim Norton in a town square somewhere.

Jim Norton is a weird looking motherfucker.
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Goose » 16 May 2017, 13:55

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
TheWolf wrote:The internet is full of speculation, with most people generally believing it's a coincidence. Neither of these guys strikes me as a joke stealer, but those bits are based on the exact same premise which certainly seems sketchy. I also found someone on reddit saying that they both had a bit about Washington's cherry tree as well, which I don't remember from Norton but I do remember Norm's because I just heard it a couple days ago.

I'll keep digging.


It is going to be awesome when all you Norm-stooges find out he stole the joke.


Image

ETA:

Image
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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 16 May 2017, 14:23

Goose wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
TheWolf wrote:The internet is full of speculation, with most people generally believing it's a coincidence. Neither of these guys strikes me as a joke stealer, but those bits are based on the exact same premise which certainly seems sketchy. I also found someone on reddit saying that they both had a bit about Washington's cherry tree as well, which I don't remember from Norton but I do remember Norm's because I just heard it a couple days ago.

I'll keep digging.


It is going to be awesome when all you Norm-stooges find out he stole the joke.


Image

ETA:

Image


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PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Best Stand-Up Bits

Postby Goose » 16 May 2017, 15:54

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
Goose wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
TheWolf wrote:The internet is full of speculation, with most people generally believing it's a coincidence. Neither of these guys strikes me as a joke stealer, but those bits are based on the exact same premise which certainly seems sketchy. I also found someone on reddit saying that they both had a bit about Washington's cherry tree as well, which I don't remember from Norton but I do remember Norm's because I just heard it a couple days ago.

I'll keep digging.


It is going to be awesome when all you Norm-stooges find out he stole the joke.


Image

ETA:

Image


Goose: When you go to the men's room later, you'll see a sign that says 'Gentlemen.' Pay no heed, go right in. There's no room that says 'Scoundrel' on it.


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