2017/18 NBA Reviews

Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 13 Oct 2017, 13:42

mj3528 wrote:
ctz31 wrote:
Los Angeles Lakers O/U 32.5


With Alonzo Ball joining my Los Angeles Lakers we are ready for Showtime again. We haven't been the same since Bean dropped 60 (and the mic) on the utah jazz and raped off into the sunset. But we are back baby.

Ball and his dad are ready to....ball out. He pretty much dominated the summer league or so i've heard. And we also have a new rookie named kyle kuzma who has to be white with that name. He's supposed to be good, but....he's white. I had a boss with the last name kuzma for a couple years a while back and he could hit that shot from the elbow.

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
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Other additions to this ultra talented squad:

Vander Blue. You're my boy blue! I've never seen it.

Thomas "kobe" Bryant. Whoever that is.

Ken Caldwell Pope, otherwise known as KCP.

Luel Deng

Andy Bogut

Former hockey star Tyler Ennis

Holy shit we are loaded. We also are returning Julius Randle a future MVP. I think we lost nick young so that blows. He was the bess.

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I think we should cruise to the 6 seed in the west and shock the spurs in the first round before succumbing. We're still a year or two away.

Bang the OVER

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Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
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Univerity of Utah product Kyle Kouzma is also receiving a lot of buzz for you. check him out.



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and 31, what's up with that dood's hand? Looks like it was stung by 45 bees
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby ctz31 » 13 Oct 2017, 13:45

MisterTambourineMan wrote:
mj3528 wrote:
ctz31 wrote:
Los Angeles Lakers O/U 32.5


With Alonzo Ball joining my Los Angeles Lakers we are ready for Showtime again. We haven't been the same since Bean dropped 60 (and the mic) on the utah jazz and raped off into the sunset. But we are back baby.

Ball and his dad are ready to....ball out. He pretty much dominated the summer league or so i've heard. And we also have a new rookie named kyle kuzma who has to be white with that name. He's supposed to be good, but....he's white. I had a boss with the last name kuzma for a couple years a while back and he could hit that shot from the elbow.

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
Image


Other additions to this ultra talented squad:

Vander Blue. You're my boy blue! I've never seen it.

Thomas "kobe" Bryant. Whoever that is.

Ken Caldwell Pope, otherwise known as KCP.

Luel Deng

Andy Bogut

Former hockey star Tyler Ennis

Holy shit we are loaded. We also are returning Julius Randle a future MVP. I think we lost nick young so that blows. He was the bess.

Image

I think we should cruise to the 6 seed in the west and shock the spurs in the first round before succumbing. We're still a year or two away.

Bang the OVER

Image

Image

Image

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
Image


Univerity of Utah product Kyle Kouzma is also receiving a lot of buzz for you. check him out.



Image



and 31, what's up with that dood's hand? Looks like it was stung by 45 bees


He's fat.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Goose » 13 Oct 2017, 14:52

Saw the NBA review talk in the box, figured I'd come check them out.

Whattayaknow, there's one for me to do.

Portland Trail Blazers 40.5 Goose

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Someone has made a huge mistake. I don't know anything about the NBA, and even less about the Portland Trail Blazers.

It took me about three minutes to come up with Damian Lillard.

And I had to google him to determine whether or not he was an actual person who plays on the Portland Trail Blazers.

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
HE DOES!

Googling the roster didn't help. They've got a bunch of black dudes, some mooslim named guys, one Jitz type with some Cyrillic letters in his name and few goofy looking white guys.

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Well you heard the lady, that's enough analysis.

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Got so distracted I forgot the O/U prediction.

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Take the under.

Alright. That's enough of the NBA for awhile. Bye.

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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Dthefritz » 13 Oct 2017, 15:55

Goose wrote:some mooslim named guys, one Jitz type with some Cyrillic letters in his name and few goofy looking white guys.

Believe it or not, Portland has a player named Jusuf Nurkic who fits into all three of these categories simultaneously! Even more strangely, he's actually good.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Briandong79 » 13 Oct 2017, 20:15

I can't believe MTM has missed out on the Kyle Kuzma buzz. Dude has been a beast.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby TheWolf » 13 Oct 2017, 20:39

Briandong79 wrote:I can't believe MTM has missed out on the Kyle Kuzma buzz. Dude has been a beast.


I can't tell who's fuckimg with who anymore. I think MTM'S "not sure if serious" was not because he didn't hear the Kuzma buzz, but because mj brought up Kuzma (whoever that is) as if 31 hadn't mentioned him, which he obviously did.

So now I'm not sure if you're serious.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Briandong79 » 14 Oct 2017, 06:20

TheWolf wrote:
Briandong79 wrote:I can't believe MTM has missed out on the Kyle Kuzma buzz. Dude has been a beast.


I can't tell who's fuckimg with who anymore. I think MTM'S "not sure if serious" was not because he didn't hear the Kuzma buzz, but because mj brought up Kuzma (whoever that is) as if 31 hadn't mentioned him, which he obviously did.

So now I'm not sure if you're serious.


Oh yeah I didn't actually read 31's preview.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby ctz31 » 14 Oct 2017, 12:23

Briandong79 wrote:
TheWolf wrote:
Briandong79 wrote:I can't believe MTM has missed out on the Kyle Kuzma buzz. Dude has been a beast.


I can't tell who's fuckimg with who anymore. I think MTM'S "not sure if serious" was not because he didn't hear the Kuzma buzz, but because mj brought up Kuzma (whoever that is) as if 31 hadn't mentioned him, which he obviously did.

So now I'm not sure if you're serious.


Oh yeah I didn't actually read 31's preview.


You jerk.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby JT99 » 14 Oct 2017, 13:42

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:Sept 26, 2017, per betonline.ag

LA Clippers 42.5 JT99


No Chris Paul?
No racist owner banging some omnisexual Asian?

What in the hell do these guys do for fun anymore?

Alright, let me look at their roster...

TEAM ROSTER
NO. NAME POS AGE HT WT COLLEGE 2017-2018 SALARY
21 Patrick Beverley PG 29 6-1 185 Arkansas $5,513,514
7 Sam Dekker SF 23 6-9 230 Wisconsin $1,794,600
1 Jawun Evans PG 21 6-0 190 Oklahoma State $815,615
8 Danilo Gallinari SF 29 6-10 225 $20,559,599
32 Blake Griffin PF 28 6-10 251 Oklahoma $29,512,900
5 Montrezl Harrell PF 23 6-8 240 Louisville $1,471,382
19 LaDontae Henton SF 25 6-6 215 Providence $815,615
30 Ike Iroegbu PG 22 6-2 195 Washington State
11 Brice Johnson F 23 6-10 230 North Carolina $1,331,160
33 Wesley Johnson SF 30 6-7 215 Syracuse $5,882,260
6 DeAndre Jordan C 29 6-11 265 Texas A&M $22,642,350
40 Marshall Plumlee C 25 7-0 250 Duke $1,312,611
35 Willie Reed C 27 6-11 245 Saint Louis $1,471,382
25 Austin Rivers PG 25 6-4 200 Duke $11,825,000
4 Milos Teodosic PG 30 6-5 196 $6,000,000
0 Sindarius Thornwell SG 22 6-5 215 South Carolina $815,615
12 Tyrone Wallace SG 23 6-5 198 California $815,615
9 C.J. Williams SG 27 6-5 230 North Carolina State $543,471
23 Lou Williams SG 30 6-1 175 $7,000,000
13 Jamil Wilson SF 26 6-7 229 Marquette

I don't recognize enough names there as scorers and you kind of need that in the Association.

Bet the UNDER, keep it simple.

Julie Bowen is a fan and I'd bang her because she used to be Julie Bowen.

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Rihanna sometimes goes to their games and I'd like to bang her because I assume that she is that very best at sex in the world right now

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BigJohnStudd wrote:The original Annie movie from the 80s has a lot of panty shots for a PG rated kids film.


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Dthefritz » 15 Oct 2017, 13:05

JT99 wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:Sept 26, 2017, per betonline.ag

LA Clippers 42.5 JT99


No Chris Paul?
No racist owner banging some omnisexual Asian?

What in the hell do these guys do for fun anymore?

Alright, let me look at their roster...

TEAM ROSTER
NO. NAME POS AGE HT WT COLLEGE 2017-2018 SALARY
21 Patrick Beverley PG 29 6-1 185 Arkansas $5,513,514
7 Sam Dekker SF 23 6-9 230 Wisconsin $1,794,600
1 Jawun Evans PG 21 6-0 190 Oklahoma State $815,615
8 Danilo Gallinari SF 29 6-10 225 $20,559,599
32 Blake Griffin PF 28 6-10 251 Oklahoma $29,512,900
5 Montrezl Harrell PF 23 6-8 240 Louisville $1,471,382
19 LaDontae Henton SF 25 6-6 215 Providence $815,615
30 Ike Iroegbu PG 22 6-2 195 Washington State
11 Brice Johnson F 23 6-10 230 North Carolina $1,331,160
33 Wesley Johnson SF 30 6-7 215 Syracuse $5,882,260
6 DeAndre Jordan C 29 6-11 265 Texas A&M $22,642,350
40 Marshall Plumlee C 25 7-0 250 Duke $1,312,611
35 Willie Reed C 27 6-11 245 Saint Louis $1,471,382
25 Austin Rivers PG 25 6-4 200 Duke $11,825,000
4 Milos Teodosic PG 30 6-5 196 $6,000,000
0 Sindarius Thornwell SG 22 6-5 215 South Carolina $815,615
12 Tyrone Wallace SG 23 6-5 198 California $815,615
9 C.J. Williams SG 27 6-5 230 North Carolina State $543,471
23 Lou Williams SG 30 6-1 175 $7,000,000
13 Jamil Wilson SF 26 6-7 229 Marquette

I don't recognize enough names there as scorers and you kind of need that in the Association.

Bet the UNDER, keep it simple.

Julie Bowen is a fan and I'd bang her because she used to be Julie Bowen.

Image

Rihanna sometimes goes to their games and I'd like to bang her because I assume that she is that very best at sex in the world right now

Image

Ehh, some of their no-name players are actually pretty good. As for scoring, Griffin can absolutely carry an offense as both a primary scorer and creator, and Gallinari is a great #2 option. While their health is obviously a question mark, if both play 60+ games, they could have a top 10 offense. Lou Williams is also one of the best bench scorers in the Association, and has a 6th man of the year award to prove it. Not to mention Milos Teodosic is a serious contender for best pure passer in the world. Seriously, look him up on youtube. If only he can overcome his deficiencies in athleticism/conditioning/defense he will provide a nice boost.

That said, I am probably biased because they have a lot of players that I like, and if Griffin blows out his knee in December, that's all she wrote. The Under is the safe bet but I just can't bet my fake money on it.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby JT99 » 15 Oct 2017, 14:08

You know how I know that this thread isn't fun like all the other preview threads on the site?
BigJohnStudd wrote:The original Annie movie from the 80s has a lot of panty shots for a PG rated kids film.


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Clayton Bigsby » 15 Oct 2017, 16:38

Memphis Grizzlies 38.5

Coming off a 22-60 season, the Grizzlies are looking to improve, but are unlikely to complete for a playoff spot, or surpass the 38.5 O/U. Add into the mix the uncertainty surrounding the franchise and a possible relocation rumoured to be in the works, and I am not optimistic about the team's season. Let's break down the roster.

PG

Coming off a sophomore season where he averaged 14.5 points and 8.1 assists per game, Mike Bibby looks to be one of the better young point guards in the league. He has yet to make THE LEAP though, and likely needs a few playmakers around him in order to really flourish. He will be backed up by veteran sharp shooter Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, who can mentor the young starter, but could potentially be a distraction should he decide to kneel for the anthem.



SG

Michael Dickerson could potentially be primed for a breakout season here. After dropping 18.2 PPG in his first season as a Grizzlie (Grizzly?) last year, he has the skills to score 20+, but also the team-first attitude to take a back seat when his teammates get hot. He will be backed up by streaky shooter/grade A sidekick Damon Jones. Jones has bounced around for a few years without making a big impact, but he could potentially do something with the right opportunity/teammates. This probably isn't that situation.



SF

The real weak spot on the team is here. Grant Long is the starter for now, and will bring hustle and heart, if not scoring ability. However, hopes are sky high for 2nd overall pick Stromile Swift, an athletic leaper that can be a real game changer in today's NBA. If he develops some chemistry with Bibby, they could give Midwest Division opponents nightmares for years to come.



PF

Blossoming star Shareef Abdur-Rahim is a double double threat every night, and could crack the 20/10 barrier this season. He has silky smooth moves inside, reminiscent of a young Akeem Olajuwon. However, he needs to improve on his defense and extend his shooting range if he really wants to be more than just a "good numbers, bad team" kind of guy. However, he is well-respected in the locker room and is a quiet leader on this young team. He will be backed up by Othella Harrington, who is rumored to be unhappy and could be shipped out of town, and Tony Massenburg, the only guy in the NBA who wants to play in this beautiful city.



C

As, always the big question mark with this team is which Bryant Reeves will show up. When motivated, Big Country can score with the best of the big men, and has nice hands and good range for a big man. However, conditioning and injuries are always an issue for him, so he cannot be trusted. For this reason, general manager Billy Knight has brought in veteran Ike Austin, who will be looking to redeem himself after a poor season with the Bullets, and recapture the magic he had three years ago with the Clippers.



Coach

Former Timberwolves coach Sidney Lowe has been brought in to guide this young squad. Can he reach this young players? Probably not!



Take the UNDER.


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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby Dthefritz » 15 Oct 2017, 17:25

At the risk of further ruining this thread and singlehandedly weakening the moral resolve of Christendom, I would like to point out that I really thought Michael Dickerson was going to be good.
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 17 Oct 2017, 07:54

Phoenix Suns 28.5 L Dick


Hmmm

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Well they have to play the Warriors

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also the Spurs and Rockets and Thunder....

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Also the Clippers who might still be good... and the Timberwolves might be a wagon now....

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New Orleans has them twin towers... Suns do NOT have Charles Barkley or Steve Nash or Amare Stoudemire.... sooooo

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UNDER
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Re: 2017/18 NBA Reviews

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 17 Oct 2017, 09:04

Dthefritz wrote:At the risk of further ruining this thread and singlehandedly weakening the moral resolve of Christendom, I would like to point out that I really thought Michael Dickerson was going to be good.


Out of the Bibby/Simon/Dickerson triumvirate, I thought Dickerson was gonna be the best pro. He had a good couple years before getting unlucky.
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