MLB 2016 Team Previews

MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby JT99 » 23 Feb 2016, 10:59

Let's make the previews really easy this year so, you know, people actually do them.

Format:
1. Post 1-3 gifs representing how the team's season will go
2. Post photo of a good-looking person
3. Make a prediction on the over/under

Assignments:
Arizona Diamonbacks 84.5 -- PJ76
Atlanta Braves 65.0 -- Yokel -- UNDER
Baltimore Orioles 80.5 -- Gregs Kite -- SEE CINCINNATI
Boston Red Sox 85.5 -- Frank the Tank -- UNDER
Chicago Cubs 89.0 -- BD79 -- OVER
Chicago White Sox 80.5 -- NAG
Cincinnati Reds 71.0 -- Clayton Bigsby -- I HAVE NO IDEA
Cleveland Indians 84.0 -- mj3528 -- OVER
Colorado Rockies 68.5 -- Goose -- UNDER
Detroit Tigers 85.0 -- Prez -- OVER
Houston Astros 85.5 -- Jike -- OVER
Kansas City Royals 87.0 -- the cheese
Los Angeles Angels 82.5 -- LDOT
Los Angeles Dodgers 87.0 -- Courtesy Flush -- OVER
Miami Marlins 80.5 -- Theny
Milwaukee Brewers 71.5 -- Rodney Farva -- UNDER
Minnesota Twins 77.5 -- MTM
New York Mets 88.0 -- chrisco -- PUSH
New York Yankees 85.0 -- bosux -- OVER
Oakland Athletics 75.5 -- Mario Speedwagon
Philadelphia Phillies 66.5 -- Balls -- OVER
Pittsburgh Pirates 87.0 -- Dthefritz -- I HAVE NO IDEA
San Diego Padres 74.0 -- JT99 -- UNDER
San Francisco Giants 90.0 -- oj#'s -- UNDER
Seattle Mariners 83.0 -- Big John Studd
St. Louis Cardinals 87.5 -- Colonel Angus
Tampa Bay Rays 78.0 -- Shamgod
Texas Rangers 86.0 -- ONTB
Toronto Blue Jays 87.0 -- ctz31 -- OVER
Washington Nationals 87.0 -- nova


RESULTS:

JT99 wrote:
JT99 wrote:Let's make the previews really easy this year so, you know, people actually do them.

Format:
1. Post 1-3 gifs representing how the team's season will go
2. Post photo of a good-looking person
3. Make a prediction on the over/under

Assignments:
Arizona Diamonbacks 84.5 -- PJ76
Atlanta Braves 65.0 -- Yokel -- UNDER 68-93. You stink!
Baltimore Orioles 80.5 -- Gregs Kite -- SEE CINCINNATI
Boston Red Sox 85.5 -- Frank the Tank -- UNDER 93-69. Non-believer!
Chicago Cubs 89.0 -- BD79 -- OVER 103-58. You're a hero!
Chicago White Sox 80.5 -- NAG
Cincinnati Reds 71.0 -- Clayton Bigsby -- I HAVE NO IDEA
Cleveland Indians 84.0 -- mj3528 -- OVER 94-67. This guy know things!
Colorado Rockies 68.5 -- Goose -- UNDER 75-87. Wrong, Hater!
Detroit Tigers 85.0 -- Prez -- OVER 86-75. Do not question the ump!
Houston Astros 85.5 -- Jike -- OVER 84-78. You suck! (sung to Kurt Angle's music)
Kansas City Royals 87.0 -- the cheese
Los Angeles Angels 82.5 -- LDOT
Los Angeles Dodgers 87.0 -- Courtesy Flush -- OVER 91-71. This kid has got it all!
Miami Marlins 80.5 -- Theny
Milwaukee Brewers 71.5 -- Rodney Farva -- UNDER 73-89. Stick to cricket, Commie!
Minnesota Twins 77.5 -- MTM
New York Mets 88.0 -- chrisco -- PUSH 87-75. Close, but this ain't horseshoes!
New York Yankees 85.0 -- bosux -- OVER 84-78. Homer pick!
Oakland Athletics 75.5 -- Mario Speedwagon
Philadelphia Phillies 66.5 -- Balls -- OVER 71-91. Guy always has faith in his team. Best fans in the East!
Pittsburgh Pirates 87.0 -- Dthefritz -- I HAVE NO IDEA
San Diego Padres 74.0 -- JT99 -- UNDER 68-94. Soothsayer!
San Francisco Giants 90.0 -- oj#'s -- UNDER 87-75. Give this guy a hotline!
Seattle Mariners 83.0 -- Big John Studd
St. Louis Cardinals 87.5 -- Colonel Angus
Tampa Bay Rays 78.0 -- Shamgod
Texas Rangers 86.0 -- ONTB
Toronto Blue Jays 87.0 -- ctz31 -- OVER 89-73. Can't fool this sports fan!
Washington Nationals 87.0 -- nova


Overall record: 8-7 (.533)
AL Record: 3-3 (.500) misses playoffs
NL Record: 4-3 (.571) postseason worthy

Winners:
BD79 +14
mj3528 +10
JT99 +6
Balls +4
Flush +4
OJ#'s +3
ctz31 +2
Prez +1

Losers:
Bosux -1
sco -1
Farva -1.5
Jike -1.5
Yokel -3
Goose -6.5
Frank the Tank -7.5
Last edited by JT99 on 06 Mar 2017, 12:43, edited 13 times in total.
BigJohnStudd wrote:The original Annie movie from the 80s has a lot of panty shots for a PG rated kids film.


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
User avatar
JT99
Between Bannings
 
Posts: 8883
Joined: 08 Apr 2012, 22:58
Location: Bluesville

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby JT99 » 23 Feb 2016, 11:11

SAN DIEGO PADRES

Image

Image

Image

Image

Over/under 74.0

The Padres are not good at the top of the batting order nor the pitching rotation.

Take the under.
BigJohnStudd wrote:The original Annie movie from the 80s has a lot of panty shots for a PG rated kids film.


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
User avatar
JT99
Between Bannings
 
Posts: 8883
Joined: 08 Apr 2012, 22:58
Location: Bluesville

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Goose » 23 Feb 2016, 11:15

Please don't double post /kite

JK. I like that you're leading by example.

The best part about getting the Rockies is that everything I learn about them will be new to me, unless Larry Walker still plays there (I'm pretty sure he retired to an igloo in Canada aboot 10 years ago).

I will begin my research and have something up before the first pitch.
Hall of Sand, Class of 2025
Balls: I know a guy who came home after high school one day to over hear his mom and dad having a 3some with another lady. He actually went to beat off during it in his room.
mister bacon: Wow no wonder PJ is so fucked up.
User avatar
Goose
OG's sponsor
 
Posts: 2931
Joined: 03 May 2006, 10:09
Location: Temple Terrace Hooters, waiting on Shamgod

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby SouthernYokel » 23 Feb 2016, 11:38

Atlanta Braves 2016, Over/Under 65

Image

Image

Image

In summary, will the Braves hit the over? Survey Says:

Image
JT99 wrote:imagine working your entire board life on being a guy investigating every nook and cranny of others' sexual lives only to have some drunken baboon stumble into the r&t jackpot
User avatar
SouthernYokel
Hank the Hangover Turtle
 
Posts: 28518
Joined: 08 Sep 2005, 08:09

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Frank the Tank » 23 Feb 2016, 12:25

Image

Image

Image

Image

Under 0.5 Orsillos.

Under on wins too.
2015 SOTSG Fantasy Football Champion

BostonSucksMyBalls 11/2/2016: "I hate the internet. No accountability. Just a wasteland of shitheads."
User avatar
Frank the Tank
TiVo's Prophet
 
Posts: 31269
Joined: 16 Nov 2004, 08:34

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Goose » 23 Feb 2016, 13:22

YOUR COLORADO ROCKIES

Projected 2016 lineup:

CF Charlie Blackmon
SS Jose Reyes
RF Carlos Gonzalez
3B Nolan Arenado
LF Corey Dickerson
2B DJ LeMahieu
1B Mark Reynolds
C Nick Hundley

Never heard of any of these clowns. Except for Mark Reynolds, but I could be confusing him with some other Mark Reynolds, and does it really matter? If there’s a good Mark Reynolds in MLB he’s probably not the one signed to the Rockies. Nick Hundley sounds familiar, but couldn’t tell you for sure. Probably mixing him up with some other journeyman catcher.

They did have a really good player that I’ve heard of recently, Troy Tulowitzki, but they deported him to Canada last year. So, to recap: Larry Walker and Dante Bichette aren’t walking through that door, but if they did they could probably break into this lineup.

Maybe we’ll have better luck going through their starting pitching.

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
NOPE


Jon Gray – Most likely to get a “50 shades of” nickname from Chris Berman
Jorge De La Rosa – Per my inside baseball sources he’s the veteran of the staff at 35. He’s also Hispanic with a three part last name, which leads me to believe he’s probably in his early 40’s and ready to fall apart or get suspended 50 games for using PEDs.
Chad Bettis – He’s from Detroit, won the Super Bowl there. Don’t know how that translates to pitching in the rarified air of Colorado.
Tyler Chatwood – Pretty sure this guy is a NASCAR driver and was one of Stroker Ace’s rival drivers in that 1983 classic film.
Eddie Butler – Pitched for the Tribe in 1989 under the name Eddie Harris.

They might not be any good, but they’re feisty:
Image

They have a formula for beating* Clayton Kershaw:
Image
*by beating I mean denying him a perfect game by hitting shitty choppers at his infielders.

It would be easy enough to summarize their upcoming season like this:
Image

But I’m not going to take the easy way out. I predict a quick start, followed a disappointing finish:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
Image


It looks like it’s going to be that kind of year. Even Google is jumping off this bandwagon. Colorado Rockies Hot Girl yielded very few images. This is the best one:

Image

Over/Under 68.5
Let’s see how it would look first:
68-94
69-93
I can see this team fucking up a 69, so I’m going UNDER.

Good thing their fans can get high legally.

Image
Hall of Sand, Class of 2025
Balls: I know a guy who came home after high school one day to over hear his mom and dad having a 3some with another lady. He actually went to beat off during it in his room.
mister bacon: Wow no wonder PJ is so fucked up.
User avatar
Goose
OG's sponsor
 
Posts: 2931
Joined: 03 May 2006, 10:09
Location: Temple Terrace Hooters, waiting on Shamgod

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Rodney Farva » 23 Feb 2016, 13:24

MILWAUKEE BREWERS

Image

Image

Image

Image

potential to be historically bad. UNDER.
You coin contrarian bro and say shit nonsense like this.
User avatar
Rodney Farva
Your real father
 
Posts: 24256
Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 22:17

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 23 Feb 2016, 14:59

Philadelphia Phillies 66.5

Image

Image

Image

Image
(That's co-star of Stop-Loss Ryan Phillipe. He is a huge Phillies fan.)

I think the Phightins are gonna surprise people and get close to 70 wins. OVER is the play.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

"i'm relatively confident her asshole" - Farva
User avatar
BostonSucksMyBalls
Work Creep
 
Posts: 29411
Joined: 26 Aug 2005, 09:59

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Clayton Bigsby » 23 Feb 2016, 15:19

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image
Clayton Bigsby
Head of the Snake
 
Posts: 12092
Joined: 30 Jun 2006, 14:23

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby JichaelDick » 23 Feb 2016, 15:30

Before 2015, you could best describe the Houston Astros like this...

Image

However last year, led by AL Cy Young winner Dallas Keuchel and stud shortstop Carlos Correa, the Astros did this...

Image

Now, after a heartbreaking loss to the Royals in the Divisional playoffs (after beating the Yanks in the Wild Card), Houston looks on the brink of stardom and the promise once shown in an SI cover

Image

So jump on the bandwagon before it's too late!

Image

TAKE THE OVER

Image

In addition to Beyoncé, Yvonne Strahovski--is actually not from Houston but has worked with some from there...

Image
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
User avatar
JichaelDick
Delightful Nutjob
 
Posts: 25089
Joined: 21 Dec 2005, 13:56
Location: Dang ol' Arlen, Texas, man

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Prez » 23 Feb 2016, 15:48

Detroit Tigers o/u - 85

Image

Image

Image

and from Black Sports Online OF COURSE:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
Image


Take the OVER


Image
Ballz: So, I fucking got a BJ for $250 total, and wore a rubber. It sucked, I couldnt even feel it, so i jeckyled onto her tits. She was cute. Not even that far out of my league, it was a waste of $250
User avatar
Prez
The MAWG
 
Posts: 9870
Joined: 17 Nov 2004, 08:53
Location: Ballz deep in golf groupie pussy

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby ctz31 » 23 Feb 2016, 17:41

Toronto Blu Jays o/u 87

Contract year for Joey Bats

Image

No such thing as a home town discount.

Contract year for fat Edwin

Image

A funny jap around to keep the mood light and tension at a min.

Image

Image


Last year it was Kansas City's year to get over the hump. This year?

Image


I DON'T THINK SO OSBOURNE.

It's time for the dirty stinkin foreigner Canadians to have their day in the sun. Jays win the Least again AND the title.

OVER

Image
User avatar
ctz31
Witty Rank TBD
 
Posts: 8542
Joined: 03 Feb 2005, 10:06
Location: Why did I come to Buffalo???

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby mj3528 » 23 Feb 2016, 18:00

For so many years of my life the Indians were this:

Image

I think they will have a good year, and at times make me feel like this:

Image

but in the end they will just get my hopes up only to not win a world series yet again and make me feel like this:

Image

But the question is will they win more than 84 games which may make her happy:

Image

Their rotation of Corey Kluber, Dannys Salazar, Carlos Carrasco, Trevor Baur and either Josh Tomlin or Cody Anderson should win almost 60 games themselves.

As long as the middle relief can successfully get the came to closer Cody Allen, another 30 wins seem likely. I trust Tito to put together the bullpen.

Scoring runs is a little scary especially if Michael Brantley is out for a while or is ineffective when he returns.

Regardless I say:

Image
2009 NFL Pick 'em Champion
SOTSG Fantasy Basketball (Almost Entirely) 2012 Champion
2015 SOTSG NFL Survivor Champion, Part 2
2015 SOTSG Death Pool Co-Champion
2017 SOTSG Fantasy Basketball Champion
User avatar
mj3528
Never Forgotten
 
Posts: 8446
Joined: 05 Mar 2008, 18:41

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby Gregs Kite » 24 Feb 2016, 09:12

Baltimore Orioles O/U 80.5

Not looking too good for Fenway South's team this season....

Image

I think they resigned Chris Davis and his gassed up ass, and despite BIG MLB striking down PEDs, you have to realize:

Image

And this has nothing to do with anything, but Christ it made me laugh:

Image

God bless the best uniforms in baseball and Anna Benson's cans:

Image

Now, to avoid the ambiguity of some of these previews, I will be crystal clear here:

Prime Bbcode Spoiler Show Prime Bbcode Spoiler:
Image
You fuckers ruined kite.

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

Frank the Tank wrote:If I die I leave my red font to Kite.
User avatar
Gregs Kite
Friend of Friends
 
Posts: 21077
Joined: 20 Jan 2007, 15:59
Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Re: MLB 2016 Team Previews

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 24 Feb 2016, 09:26

ctz, from now on, this is your Edwin Encarnacion gif of record:

Image
mister bacon love watching soccer. baseball is about as exciting as scratching my balls.
MisterTambourineMan you're not scratching your balls right, then.
User avatar
The Long Dick of the Law
TRU Patriot
 
Posts: 11416
Joined: 22 Oct 2007, 13:09
Location: Virginia

Next

Return to MLB

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest