Darren Daulton: We're all going to die!!!!

Postby fatty » 19 Feb 2006, 05:32

PhillyJim76 wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
bosux191820042090 wrote:fuckin a, dutch...what the hell happened to you?

i think kruk and dykstra need to stage an intervention and kick his ass, and then take him out for beers and strippers


Exactly! What the hell happed to him? '93 team reunion/intervetion!


The 97 Marlins poisoned him. I'm convinced of it. That 93 team was great. Much cooler than the 2004 Sox.


Dammit Philthy, I won't hear this sort of blasphemy!! You're talking about the greatest catcher in the storied history of the Florida Marlins franchise!

who isn't named Charles Johnson, has a nickname that rhymes with "I guess", and played more than 1 game in a Marlins uniform

I love the big three from '93 as much as anyone, but don't hate on the Dutch for looking for greener (and from the sound of this, he FOUND some green in Miami, and not the paper kind...the "helps your glaucoma" kind) pastures...
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Postby God Shamgod » 19 Feb 2006, 17:24

Dutch was my favorite player growing up. I wore #10 in little league because of him.

I always liked him, even when he sucked. My dad always wondered why my favorite player was a bum (this was when he was hitting like .195). It was great when he broke out (It's now pretty obvious he was on steroids) and had career years as the Phils were contenders.

This is what happens when you marry a Hooters girl. Personally, I would like to propose a new season of "Dream Job" for the next Baseball Tonight analyst. I have some early ideas on the cast...

Dutch
Jeff Reardon
Joey Belle
Rafael Palmiero
Rickey Henderson
Pedro Guerrero
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Postby Snake » 19 Feb 2006, 17:34

I'd like to see it be for Outside the Lines contributors (more opportunity for unintentional comedy), I would also insist that they only refer to Belle as Joey, regardless of how many times he announces his name as Albert, and I would add these other possible contestants: Mike Tyson (of course), Dexter Manley, any combination of Gramatica brothers, Isaiah R. Rider, Isiah Thomas, and the tag team of Rick Tocchet and Janet Jones-Gretzky.
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Postby fatty » 20 Feb 2006, 02:06

I insist that Rickey be removed only because we all know that Rickey deserves his own show where Rickey can tell us how bad today's players are because they don't train like or measure up to Rickey. Also, they don't play D like the Rickey Sex...
"I remember reading that he (Jeffrey Maier) went to a mets camp a couple years back and Tony Tarasco was there....If I was him, when no one was lookin, I'd violate him in the bathroom with a metal bat." - Tremendous_side Potential
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Postby AcesFull4488 » 27 Feb 2006, 13:06

I just wish Philly fans could be left in piece. Losing that World Series was the most miserable loss of all time but at least leave me the found memories of the players. Ductch was my favorite player on that team and knowing he is completely insane just ruins the memory for me.
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Postby MoreCowbell » 27 Feb 2006, 13:57

Hey Aces welcome aboard... Pennsylvania is representin' in the hizzy!
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Postby DirtDawg » 28 Feb 2006, 10:36

I used to like Dutch and that lovable bunch of miscreants known as the 93 Phils.

Our buddy Dutch, however, has his head firmly entrenched in his own ass nowadays. Lay off the acid, Dutch; it'll take you places you don't wanna go! :twisted:
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Postby God Shamgod » 12 Apr 2006, 19:36

I'm flipping around and start watching the Rays-Orioles game.

Dutch is in the stands sporting a beard, a half buttoned hawaiian shirt, and looks totally shitfaced. He goes down to the fence to get the attention of the O's 1st base coach (They played together) and they embrace. The announcers were piling on him and his lunacy. Good times.
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Postby WhiteSox » 13 Apr 2006, 09:33

In the past week or so they've ran an interview with Daulton on SportCenter a few times, covering much of the same ground as the SI.com article. Reading about this stuff in an article is one thing, but seeing him discuss it in the interview is downright chilling. I used to be a social worker at a psychiatric hospital, and his speech patterns, eye contact, and mannerisms are eerily similar to that of most chronic schizophrenics.

It's sad to see how crazy he is now. He was one of my favorite players back in the day.
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Postby fatty » 13 Apr 2006, 09:42

Yeah, but he doesn't have an alcohol addiction...he just likes to drink.

(hmm, someone cue my mirror...)
"I remember reading that he (Jeffrey Maier) went to a mets camp a couple years back and Tony Tarasco was there....If I was him, when no one was lookin, I'd violate him in the bathroom with a metal bat." - Tremendous_side Potential
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Postby Theny » 13 Apr 2006, 09:42

WhiteSox wrote:I used to be a social worker at a psychiatric hospital,


Really? Any thoughts as to what was wrong with Libby before the plane crash?
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Postby fatty » 13 Apr 2006, 09:44

Theny wrote:
WhiteSox wrote:I used to be a social worker at a psychiatric hospital,


Really? Any thoughts as to what was wrong with Libby before the plane crash?


She was married to Bob Dole>?
"I remember reading that he (Jeffrey Maier) went to a mets camp a couple years back and Tony Tarasco was there....If I was him, when no one was lookin, I'd violate him in the bathroom with a metal bat." - Tremendous_side Potential
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Postby Dick Hertz » 13 Apr 2006, 11:50

I didn't read the article on Dutch, but saw the segment on HBO's Real Sports (Bryant Gumby show).

In it, Daulton talks about how he can talk to lizards.

His wife talks about his alcoholism and when Mary Carillo from HBO asks him about his drinking he answers with a question something along the line of "Describe an alcoholic to me".

Reminds me of Bill Clinton asking for the true definition of sex.

Um, I can't give you a perfect technical explanation, but I know it when I see it.
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Postby DirtDawg » 13 Apr 2006, 12:40

I think we can all agree that Dutch is batshit crazy.

I dunno if the culprit is booze, dope, or syphillis, but that guy is certifiably looney tunes.
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Postby nova » 13 Apr 2006, 12:49

God Shamgod wrote:Personally, I would like to propose a new season of "Dream Job" for the next Baseball Tonight analyst. I have some early ideas on the cast...

Dutch
Jeff Reardon
Joey Belle
Rafael Palmiero
Rickey Henderson
Pedro Guerrero


I don't know how I missed this, but good work God.
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