ctz31's House O' Pain: The Official Buffalo Bills Thread

ctz31's House O' Pain: The Official Buffalo Bills Thread

Postby Frank the Tank » 15 Sep 2009, 09:44

split from nfl random thoughts. thought poor ol' ctz31 deserved his own special place to nurse his bills-inflicted wounds.
RF


I think the way the Bills lost last night will move the eventual T.O. meltdown forward by a good four weeks or so. That's about as painful a way as possible to lose a game.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby ctz31 » 15 Sep 2009, 10:48

ctz31 wrote:In anticipation of the Monday Night opener in New England between the Pats and the Bills (Should be a classic!!!), and probable rout, here's the top 5 Bills Opener losses of the 21st century:

5. 2001 New Orleans 24 Buffalo 6
Bills in a rebuilding year, but look great in the first half on defense. Lead 6-0 at the break. Saints offense steamrolls them in the 2nd half behind 3 Aaron Brooks TD passes, and Bills fail to score again. Go on to a disastrous 3-13 season.


4. 5. 2006 New England 19 Buffalo 17
In New England, Pats have dominated the Bills for years. Not expected to be close. TKO, back from injury, drills Brady on first play of the game and the Bills return fumble for a TD. Buffalo battles the entire game behind a solid effort on both sides of the ball. New England ties it at 17-17 late, and then scores on a safety to win the game 19-17.

3. 4. 2007 Denver 15 Buffalo 14
Inspired by Kevin Everett being carted off the field on the opening kickoff of the 2nd half, the Bills lead most of the day against a team expected to beat up on them. Jay Cutler hits Brandon Marshall for a TD in the 3rd, but the Bills maintain a 2 pt advantage. Denver gets the ball back late, and with a desperate drive, completes a pass with under 15 seconds left and no Timeouts to bring up 4th down. The fg unit runs on the field and with 1 tick left on the clock, gets the snap off, and Elam drills a 42 yd field goal to win the game.

2. 3. 2002 NY Jets 27 Buffalo 21 OT
Drew Bledsoes first game with the Bills. Home crowd is fired up. Bledsoe hits Eric Moulds for a TD with seconds left in regulation to tie the game. Chad Morton returns the opening kickoff of OT for a TD, his second of the game, and the horrifying Drew Bledsoe era in Buffalo is under way.

1. 2. 2004 Jacksonville 13 Buffalo 10
Another season of promise. Another home opener thriller. Bills lead the entire game and Jags get the ball with a couple minutes left. On 4th and 20, Leftwich heaves a ball down the sideline to Jimmy Smith. Instead of just trying to knock it down, Nate Clements goes for the pick, the ball goes right through his hands and Smith catches it for a 40 yard gain. Drive continues, and the Jags end up with 4th and goal from inside the 5 with 2 seconds left. Leftwich hits Ernest Fuckin Wilford in the back of the endzone with no time left to win the game, and convert their 3rd 4th down of the drive.

1. 2009 New England 25 Buffalo 24
Leodis Mother Fuckin McKelvin

I'm sure nobody cares, but this was a nice trip down memory lane for me, in anticipation of another fantastic season.

Fixed....


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:Like, ummm. Like, ummm



Unfortunantely I couldn't find Leodis postgame interview where he defended his fumble (which was a classic), but here is a different interview of this articulate Buffalo Bill.



Maybe this should be moved to the Tard thread. For the record I have no problem with him bringing that ball out of the endzone. Getting past the 2 minute warning was crucial. But that motherfucking has to go down when he gets wrapped up, rather than fighting for extra yards. God damn.



Frank the Tank wrote:I think the way the Bills lost last night will move the eventual T.O. meltdown forward by a good four weeks or so. That's about as painful a way as possible to lose a game.


Good. You know what, someone on this shit fucking team has to step up and let everyone know that just competing against the best teams isn't fucking enough. Fuck moral victories, and fuck "we were close". Everytime this team has a late lead in a game against a team they are not supposed to beat, they play the last minutes with their hands around their throats. I hope TO starts getting in these bitches faces, and demands better.

I can't believe I was sitting there yesterday thinking about Simmons stupid theories during the game, but after New England took the lead, I was thinking maybe they had to win this game miraculously, to break this fucking choking spell they are under. And maybe this was time for TO to takeover, and thats why he was brought here blah blah blah. And they get him the ball the first play, and then Edwards goes back to being afraid to throw and takes 2 sacks. Ballgame. Fucking ridiculous. And then Edwards has the audacity to say after the game, that New England took away Owens AND Evans, so he was forced to check down. How the fuck did they manage to take away BOTH of your top receivers?!?! One fine, but both???? If thats the case, they should have run for 300 yards.

Bottom line is they got New England, and Brady at the best time, and fucked it up. (Brady was NOT handling pressure well last night, so of course it made sense to go into a prevent the last 5 minutes) They are only going to get better. I take nothing positive away from this game. The coaching staff sucks and the players choked to the nth degree. Disgraceful. I anticipate a flat game against a sorry team at home next week, and a loss would not surprise me. And the icing on the cake was me having a 3 team, 10 point teaser going, that I would have given my left nut to lose due to a Bills win, but I had New England -1. Fuckin ugh.

By the way, the left tackle starting his first ever NFL game in place of the left tackle they cut last week, had 2 illegal formation penalties, a false start, a hold, and gave up the last sack of the game.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby Frank the Tank » 15 Sep 2009, 10:56

ctz31 wrote:For the record I have no problem with him bringing that ball out of the endzone. Getting past the 2 minute warning was crucial. But that motherfucking has to go down when he gets wrapped up, rather than fighting for extra yards. God damn.


Agreed completely. It wouldn't have been a bad play even if he only got to the 15-yard line, but you have to get down on the ground when you see pressure.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 15 Sep 2009, 10:59

That is a priceless post.

I want top ten worst Bills loses of ya lifetime, ctz...where does the Music City play fit in? How about the Super Bowl losses? Does the fourth Super Bowl lost not hurt as much because, well, it was obvious who was gonna win? What would be an appropriate way for Dick Jauren to die?


ctz31 wrote:For the record I have no problem with him bringing that ball out of the endzone. Getting past the 2 minute warning was crucial. But that motherfucking has to go down when he gets wrapped up, rather than fighting for extra yards. God damn.


When he got tackled I thought it was a good play, avoided the two minute warning, nice work, and then Buffalo happened.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby JichaelDick » 15 Sep 2009, 11:04

Thing is, he fumbled a kickoff return earlier (although I think he was down). He had to know that the one thing the Pats would do was to try and take the football.

I can't imagine being a Bills fan. I'd go nuts.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby SDGuy » 15 Sep 2009, 12:06

MisterTambourineMan wrote:That is a priceless post.

I want top ten worst Bills loses of ya lifetime, ctz...where does the Music City play fit in? How about the Super Bowl losses? Does the fourth Super Bowl lost not hurt as much because, well, it was obvious who was gonna win? What would be an appropriate way for Dick Jauren to die?




How bout the MNF game against the Cowboys at home when Romo threw 5 picks. That was a great game.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby Theny » 15 Sep 2009, 21:28

Well if it makes you feel any better ctz I'm pretty sure that game was fixed. But Jauron has a lot of Wannstadt in him. He should grow the 'stache to complete the impersonation.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby Frank the Tank » 16 Sep 2009, 06:14

McKelvin's lawn vandalized after fumble.

Not cool. Cutting him would be cool though.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby ctz31 » 16 Sep 2009, 08:23

MisterTambourineMan wrote:That is a priceless post.

I want top ten worst Bills loses of ya lifetime, ctz...where does the Music City play fit in? How about the Super Bowl losses? Does the fourth Super Bowl lost not hurt as much because, well, it was obvious who was gonna win?


You sicko. Ok I'm game. Anything for con_tent.

*Disclaimer 1: I'm lumping all Superbowl losses into one miserable loss. I can't decide which were worse than the others, and don't want to take up too much space with them.

**Disclaimer 2: I've had season's for the last 10 years (ironically my first year as a season tix holder is the year after their last playoff apperance), so these games hold more weight for me in some instances. They just do.

10. 1996 Wildcard Round: Jacksonville 30 Buffalo 27 - Jim Kelly's last game. It was close the entire game, and Kelly was knocked unconscious late. We've been looking for a QB ever since. Bonus points because I was at the game and we had the most annoying jacksonville fans (mostly drunk women) behind us taunting us most of the game, and as we walked out. Probably the most I've ever wanted to kick a women in the uterus.

9. Week 13 2000 Season: Tampa Bay 31 Buffalo 17 - Rob Johnson's first year as full time starter and things started slow. Team was pulling it together late though behind its defense and had run off a 4 game win streak to get to 7-5. Buffalo was playing well in Tampa, until Sam Cowart, who was a beast that year, tore his ACL right before halftime. Tampa dominated 2nd half, and the team was never the same, losing 3 in a row and falling out of playoff contention. Cowart came back the next year, and tore his achilles in the opener. His career was never the same after that injury either.

8. 1989 Divisional Playoffs: Cleveland 34-30 - Broke my Bills choke cherry. This is about as far back as I remember rooting for this team, and they were still trying to get over the hump. Trailing late, Kelly led them on a long drive to the Cleveland 10 or so. On 3rd down Kelly threw it to Ronnie Harmon in the corner of the endzone, and he dropped it. Next play Kelly threw a pick. Season over. Forever to be know in Buffalo as "The Ronnie Harmon Game".



7. 1998 Wildcard Round: Miami 24 Buffalo 17 - That little worm Doug Flutie took over mid season and led the Bills to the playoffs. It was a tight game the whole way, but Miami led late. Flutie took the Bills inside the 5, and had a first and goal with about 30 seconds left. He dropped back on 1st down, pumped the ball about 4 times over the course of about 7 seconds, before getting drilled by Zach Thomas and fumbling. Ball game. I hated Flutie.

6. 2007 Week 15: Cleveland 8 Buffalo 0 - Buffalo was on a nice winning streak to get back into playoff contention following a bad start, and Trent Edwards was looking like the future. Both Cleveland and Buffalo were 7-6, and the winner would have the upper hand on the wildcard. It was a miserable, blizzardy day in Cleveland and the Bills offense couldn't do a thing. Phil Dawson somehow made 2 long fg's in those elements, and Cleveland also scored on a safety after a muffed punt snap. Buffalo drove late, but Edwards checked down on 4th and goal (surprise), and Fred Jackson was tackled inside the 5. Bills lost out the rest of the way. Bonus points because I was there, and spent the entire game dodging snowballs from asshole Cleveland fans.

Image

5. Any of the openers listed in my previous post can pretty much be lumped together. The other night sucked hard, but I'm not sure it hurt more than the Jets, or Jacksonville, or Denver. Eh maybe it did. We'll put that one here.

4. 2004 Week 17: Pittsburgh 29 Buffalo 24 - The Bills had a 6 game winning streak going into the last game of the year against Pitt, after an 0-4 start. They needed to win, and have the Jets lose (which they did), to get into the playoffs. Pitt had nothing to play for, so their starters weren't expected to play much, and the Bills were at home. Pitt held true to plan, and all starters were outta the game after the 1st Quarter. By the 3rd Q it was mostly 3rd stringers for Pitt. Easy win for Buffalo? Nope. Bledsoe had a late fumble returned for a TD, and 3rd stringer Willie Parker ran for about 400 yds by my estimation, including a long one to seal the loss for Buffalo. No playoffs.

3. 2007 Week 5: Dallas 25-24. Buffalo's first Monday night game in over a decade. Dallas expected to roll over another dissapointing Bills team. You know the story. Romo 5 picks, McGee Kick return for TD, Bills lead by 2 scores late, Dallas rolls back, scores TD down by 8 with 20 seconds or so left, can't convert 2pt conversion, place goes nuts, Dallas recovers onside kick, drives down field, makes 2 53 yard field goals as time runs out (Bills called timeout before snap on 1st one). Bills lose. Bonus points because it was the greatest tailgate I've ever been too, and the entire night was maybe a top 10 night in my life, before the stomach punch at the end.

2. Superbowls XXV-XXVIII: They all sucked. The first one may have been the worst because of Norwood. But they all sucked. They actually led at halftime in the last game against Dallas, but Thurman fumbled the 1st or 2nd play of the 2nd half and it was returned for a TD. So many memorable plays from these 4 games. This could go number one, but lets face it, it was a great time to be a Bills fan. Also I was 12 years old for the first superbowl. When they lost, I think I swore under my breath so my parents wouldn't hear it, sulked for 30 minutes, and then played video games.

1. 1999 Wildcard Game: Tennessee 22 Buffalo 16. Music City Game. Unequivocally the worst Bills loss of my life. Everyone forgets this, but Doug Flutie QB'ed that entire season (have I mentioned I hate him), and Rob Johnson QB'ed a meaningless week 17 game, and was on fire. Ralph Wilson forced the team to start Johnson in the playoff game causing turmoil around Buffalo. Johnson led the Bills to a late fg drive to seemingly win the game, before....well you know. Biggest kick in the gut of my life, because it was before Buffalo became Buffalo, and things like that weren't expected. We were already celebrating the win (unlike Monday night when we knew they would find a way to lose), and then BAM! It still hurts thinking about it.


MisterTambourineMan wrote:What would be an appropriate way for Dick Jauren to die?


Most appropriate? I don't know. But I predict its either Cancer or Aids. I mean did you see him on the sidelines the other night? I think he already has the HIV. Someone better grab him in the next death pool.

Frank the Tank wrote:McKelvin's lawn vandalized after fumble.

Not cool. Cutting him would be cool though.


Jackasses. Like its not hard enough already to get people to want to come play in Buffalo.

Jesus that was a long ass post.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby babylurch » 16 Sep 2009, 08:27

Thank you for sharing your pain for our amusement.
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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby TVF wannabe » 16 Sep 2009, 09:08

babylurch wrote:Thank you for sharing your pain for our amusement.

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Re: Random Thoughts - The NFL Edition

Postby Briandong79 » 16 Sep 2009, 11:58

ctz31 wrote:8. 1989 Divisional Playoffs: Cleveland 34-30 - Broke my Bills choke cherry. This is about as far back as I remember rooting for this team, and they were still trying to get over the hump. Trailing late, Kelly led them on a long drive to the Cleveland 10 or so. On 3rd down Kelly threw it to Ronnie Harmon in the corner of the endzone, and he dropped it. Next play Kelly threw a pick. Season over. Forever to be know in Buffalo as "The Ronnie Harmon Game".


If it makes you feel any better, Harmon probably made a shitload of money for throwing that game (I have no idea what the spread would have been). Rumors have been following him around since he was in the Rose Bowl for Iowa and fumbled 3 or 4 times in the game.
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Re: ctz31's House O' Pain: The Official Buffalo Bills Thread

Postby ctz31 » 28 Sep 2009, 10:18

TO's post game press conference. This should end well. Poor bastard didn't know what he was getting himself into.

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Re: ctz31's House O' Pain: The Official Buffalo Bills Thread

Postby Fletch » 28 Sep 2009, 10:22

I think he handled that great, better than he's probably handled anything in 10 years. Yea, he's pissed, but he knows the game and wasn't gonna add fuel to the fire. If they get him the ball next week, I think he'll be fine. That's a big if, though, since Trent Edwards blows.
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Re: ctz31's House O' Pain: The Official Buffalo Bills Thread

Postby nerf66 » 28 Sep 2009, 10:31

Those reporters were really try to push him in to giving a crazy reaction.
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