Qualification done for the US team. The 8 in are Phil Mickelson, Hunter Mahan, Bubba Watson, Jim Furyk, Steve Stricker, Dustin Johnson, Jeff Overton and Matt Kuchar. I'm going to pretend I'm Corey Pavin for a day and the other four will be Tiger Woods, Stewart Cink, Zach Johnson and Lucas Glover. I would have made Kenny Perry the last one for the old guy out of left field pick, but he's been awful this year and has admitted that he's really struggling. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Pavin goes for Freddy Boomboom, so let's take him instead of Glover The Lover.
Euros have two weeks left, really one 'big' tourney for them being the Johnny Walker at Gleneagles. Let's pretend that the standings from today stand, so the 9 qualifiers (ooh, 8 vs. 9; Paul Azinger, you were a tricky (if sandy) bastard!) are Lee Westwood, Rory McIlroy, Graeme McDowell, Luke Donald, Ian Poulter, Ross Fisher, Martin Kaymer, Fernando Molinari and Miguel Angel Jimenez. For Monty's choices, I'm going to say Paul Casey, Paddy Harrington and Bernhard Langer. Langer has been slicing and dicing the seniors on both sides of the pond, has a relatively good career record in the Ryder Cup, and Monty really likes him. If Westwood can't play because of his injury then Eduardo Molinari may get in so that the Molinari brothers can be dick-locked buddies all week and lots of lazy sportswriters can have an easy angle to pursue without doing much heavy lifting. Too bad CBS doesn't get the Ryder Cup because just imagine the hilarity that David Feherty could bleed out of this (again. and again. aaaaaaaaand. again.)
The US has one advantage - well, not so much an advantage but a lesser Euro advantage than it might be - in that the course, Celtic Manor, is an american-style parkland course. The European PGA only cares about making money (witness all the Cups held at the Belfry) so instead of picking difficult links courses they go for places like this where the money is good.
So looking at the teams again:
Mickelson, Mahan, B. Watson, Furyk, Stricker, D. Johnson, Overton, Kuchar, Woods, Cink, Z. Johnson, Couples
Westwood (maybe), McIlroy, McDowell, Donald, Poulter, Fisher, Kaymer, F. Molinari, Jimenez, Casey, Harrington, Langer
At this point I think it's shaping up as a relatively easy win for the Euros. Mahan's a good player but I don't know how he'll handle the pressure. Dustin Johnson and Bubba Watson have already proved their respective abilities to gag when exposed to the big time. Who the fuck is Jeff Overton? A lot of these Euros that you haven't heard about, like my boy Kaymer, are really good and have ice water in their veins. That old bastard Jimenez may strangle someone and put out his cigar on their eyeball just for shits and giggles. I think Poulter is going to kick all kinds of ass in this thing. Their worry will be whether Westwood can play (or what kind of shape his game is in) and what kind of game Casey and Harrington bring with them that week. Of course I may be completely wrong here, but I hope Monty isn't wearing a white shirt on the last day when his players drench him in champagne or toss him in a pond or whatever.
You coin contrarian bro and say shit nonsense like this.