One Lousy Point?

Fantasy Sports

One Lousy Point?

Postby TheBuckNut » 13 Sep 2005, 07:59

In my fantasy football league, my team (Stuart Scott's Glass Eye) managed a whopping ONE point this past weekend. It's a scoring only league, but still. One point is a new level of bad. The league record (in 10 years) for least points scored up to this point was 3. We managed ONE on a Mike Nugent PAT.

This is a copy of what I posted on our league message board. Some of you might like it, others will not. I don't care. Here it is.

---

Wow. This is such an honor. I never expected it to happen.

First, I'd like to thank Chad Pennington for throwing an interception in the redzone and fumbling approximately 7,462 times in the Cheifs game, virtually ensuring that Mike Nugent would kick very few field goals or extra points. That shoulder looks great, champ.

Second, a big thanks goes out to Dante Culpepper, who threw for a whopping 233 yards and 3 interceptions while running for an astounding FOUR yards. Way to go Dante. You the man. To hell with Randy Moss.

Third, to Dom Capers: I really enjoyed that quarterback sneak you called for David Carr on 4th and goal from the two. Thank you so much for not giving the ball to Domanick Davis on that play.

Fourth, major props to Trent Dilfer, who apparently threw a pass to a circus clown that was standing on the sidelines while ignoring a wide open Antonio Bryant in the end zone. In keeping with tradition, Dilfer threw the ball 10 yards over the clown's head and hit a kid in a wheelchair.

On a lighter note, the "Glass Eye" bench managed to score 41 points. The starters, however, obviously took an enormous crap this weekend and never seemed to get off the toilet. Warrick Dunn looked like he might do something last night, but right before he scored he tripped over the toilet paper that was stuck to his left shoe and had to be taken into the locker room to be checked out. No word yet on his status.

Really quick, does anyone want to trade for Warrick Dunn, Javon Walker, and an ACL surgery to be named later? I'll throw in some cash....or perhaps my Jim Tressel bobblehead.

Finally, I have a question. Had Javon Walker's ACL ripped through his skin and landed on the field, then picked up the ball and ran across the goalline for a score, would we have received fantasy points? And yes, I totally stole that line from ESPN's Bill Simmons. Wanna fight about it?
TheBuckNut
Grantland Editor
 
Posts: 129
Joined: 07 Sep 2005, 08:01
Location: Toledo, Ohio

Postby SouthernYokel » 13 Sep 2005, 08:34

That's funny BN. I wish i was playing FF this year, but it's just not in the cards baby.
JT99 wrote:imagine working your entire board life on being a guy investigating every nook and cranny of others' sexual lives only to have some drunken baboon stumble into the r&t jackpot
User avatar
SouthernYokel
Hank the Hangover Turtle
 
Posts: 28518
Joined: 08 Sep 2005, 08:09

Postby bostonredsox1002 » 13 Sep 2005, 16:43

Thats hillarious.
Ultimate Frisbee record: 1-1
Back on track son.
User avatar
bostonredsox1002
Etiquette Instructor
 
Posts: 1590
Joined: 07 Apr 2005, 18:39
Location: Bullets dodge me.

Postby Bleacher Creature » 13 Sep 2005, 19:52

You forgot to thank the "greatest college kicker of all time" for slipping and missing his first career field goal. And by the way fuck Pennington and his fucking shoulder.
User avatar
Bleacher Creature
OG's sponsor
 
Posts: 2543
Joined: 21 Aug 2005, 21:24

Postby bostonredsox1002 » 13 Sep 2005, 20:10

Bleacher Creature wrote:You forgot to thank the "greatest college kicker of all time" for slipping and missing his first career field goal. And by the way fuck Pennington and his fucking shoulder.


FukuPennington?
Ultimate Frisbee record: 1-1
Back on track son.
User avatar
bostonredsox1002
Etiquette Instructor
 
Posts: 1590
Joined: 07 Apr 2005, 18:39
Location: Bullets dodge me.

Postby TheBuckNut » 14 Sep 2005, 07:53

Bleacher Creature wrote:You forgot to thank the "greatest college kicker of all time" for slipping and missing his first career field goal. And by the way fuck Pennington and his fucking shoulder.


Once he finds his happy place, Nugent won't miss another kick for seven seasons. Or maybe only seven games, but the point remains the same. He's going to be in the upper echelon of kickers in the NFL. Talent-wise, he's a combination of Vinatieri and Janikowski, and I've never seen a better kicker come out of college. Since he was the kicker at OSU, I was able to see him play for four years, so here's my analysis of him.

His only weakness in college was lining up from the right hashmark. Because he was SO incredibly accurate, it was hard for him to come back across his body and the ball would go straight down the field. In fact, I'd wager a guess that nearly all of his misses after his freshman season, (which was only something like six kicks) were from the right hash. And since the NFL hashmarks are not as wide as the NCAA's he'll thrive in The League.

One thing he struggles with is finding a groove. When he was a frosh, he missed half of his kicks and struggled mightily. However, once he was able to get comfortable, he set a school record for most consecutive kicks made and he went on to have an excellent (and consistent) career.

A bit of trivia: He and AJ Hawk (OSU's All American linebacker) went to the same high school (Centerville - 10 minutes away from my hometown) and Nugent was the QUARTERBACK as well as the kicker.
TheBuckNut
Grantland Editor
 
Posts: 129
Joined: 07 Sep 2005, 08:01
Location: Toledo, Ohio

Postby Bleacher Creature » 14 Sep 2005, 17:07

He better be in the top fucking echelon of kickers in the NFL. The Jets better of not wasted a 2nd round pick on a mediocre kicker. Kicking has screwed the Jets recently (Brien, Hall) and it was disappointing seeing this hyped kicker going out for the first time and slipping. It was only one kick and I understand that stuff like this could happen but it better not happen often or there will be some angry Jets fans.
User avatar
Bleacher Creature
OG's sponsor
 
Posts: 2543
Joined: 21 Aug 2005, 21:24

Postby mister bacon » 14 Sep 2005, 20:22

Bleacher Creature wrote:He better be in the top fucking echelon of kickers in the NFL. The Jets better of not wasted a 2nd round pick on a mediocre kicker. Kicking has screwed the Jets recently (Brien, Hall) and it was disappointing seeing this hyped kicker going out for the first time and slipping. It was only one kick and I understand that stuff like this could happen but it better not happen often or there will be some angry Jets fans.


Well thats what you get for being a Jets fan.
2006 SOTSG ESPN March Madness Tourney Challenge Champion
2010 SOTSG NFL Pick 'Em Champion

TheWolf wrote: Being a douche is a very expensive hobby.

ctz31 - Mon Dec 12, 2016 10:30 pm: I'm gonna win a chip w romo. I'm done w blacks. No offense
User avatar
mister bacon
Black on Both Sides
 
Posts: 25523
Joined: 10 Dec 2004, 17:06
Location: "The Real Racist" - Greg's Kite

Re: One Lousy Point?

Postby nova » 19 Nov 2010, 23:43

Just a series of abortions here. Might as well spice it up with some ass:

Image
Jew Jitsu: It's like you guys are incompatible with each other but have to make due cause you can't pull out.
User avatar
nova
Thrifty Negro
 
Posts: 25369
Joined: 04 Aug 2005, 16:04
Location: King's Tower | Los Angeles, CA

Re: One Lousy Point?

Postby PornoGil » 23 Apr 2012, 11:39

Fantasy sports 'bad beat' story... you can just click back to the main page now.

I've been doing these one-night fantasy basketball leagues a couple times per week all year. Just hop in a 10 or 20 person league, and double your money if you finish in the top half of the league. More fun than betting games IMO, since your one bet allows you to have action on up to 8 different games. (2 F's, 2 G's, 2 C's and 2 others... A ponit = 1 point, assist = 1.5, TO = -1, Missed FG = -0.5, etc. etc.)

Survived Bynum getting benched after the 3rd and Durant missing 47 shots yday, thanks to Charles Jenkins ( :?: ), Brandon Rush, and MB Pekovic all having strong efforts in that big GS-'Sota game.

Just need 6.25 points from Carl Landry (NOH) in the last game of the day to ensure a top-half finish. 3 double-doubles in his past 4 games, no fewer than 19 fantasy points in any of them. Check in on this game at the half. 4.75 points from Carl. Guh. No foul trouble or anything, tight game, should be able to muster up that 1.5+ points I need to finish in the money. I turn in for the night.

Check the standings emailed to me this morning... Finished 0.5 points behind the 5th place guy. Carl's 2nd half: 2 points, on 0-2 from the field = 1 fantasy point. :/
User avatar
PornoGil
Basketball Jesus
 
Posts: 4582
Joined: 06 Sep 2006, 13:00

Re: One Lousy Point?

Postby nova » 23 Apr 2012, 12:27

PornoGil wrote:Charles Jenkins ( :?: )


Pride of the Hofstra Pride.
Jew Jitsu: It's like you guys are incompatible with each other but have to make due cause you can't pull out.
User avatar
nova
Thrifty Negro
 
Posts: 25369
Joined: 04 Aug 2005, 16:04
Location: King's Tower | Los Angeles, CA

Re: One Lousy Point?

Postby OJ8871440 » 23 Apr 2012, 16:43

nasty nova wrote:
PornoGil wrote:Charles Jenkins ( :?: )


Pride of the Hofstra Pride.


Blows up my newsfeed anytime Mark Jackson even looks in his direction on the bench
Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:39 pm Dr Jeckyll who the hell reads OJ posts?
User avatar
OJ8871440
Rocky Balboa
 
Posts: 1193
Joined: 18 Feb 2008, 03:22

Re: One Lousy Point?

Postby ctz31 » 01 Aug 2012, 06:24

Put Breaking Bad on hold until Monday night, because I got caught up in the rivalry. Nursing a slim fantasy lead, and it came down to Aceves on other dudes team. Motherfucker blows the save on his first pitch, then proceeds to pitch like 3 innings (after also pitching the night before mind you), and eventually picks up the win. Thought I lost, but I forgot he got the blown save. Checked score in the morning and I'd won by a .5 point against top team in the league.

Fast forward to this morning, 3 days later, I log into sight, and my record had changed. Checked, and I had lost by a .5 point. Must have been a stat change somewhere. :? Moral of story: Hate Fantasy BS #mush
User avatar
ctz31
Witty Rank TBD
 
Posts: 8542
Joined: 03 Feb 2005, 10:06
Location: Why did I come to Buffalo???


Return to Sue Clinton Portis

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest