F---, Magary, Kill

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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Gregs Kite » 29 Nov 2017, 08:23

@drewmagary
26m26 minutes ago

I’ll never stop being amazed that Trump finds a new way to be fucking horrible every, like, ten minutes


@drewmagary
4m4 minutes ago

Like, he’s absolutely gonna drop his pants and take a shit on a Christmas tree and somehow I’ll be surprised by it


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Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Gregs Kite » 30 Nov 2017, 11:04

hf61 puts on his Big Serious Hat for this nonsense.

PS:

This is the man who called his own wife a cunt in public.


Is that frowned upon? Because I'll be honest, I HOLed at that one.
Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Goose » 30 Nov 2017, 17:06

Gregs Kite wrote:hf61 puts on his Big Serious Hat for this nonsense.

PS:

This is the man who called his own wife a cunt in public.


Is that frowned upon? Because I'll be honest, I HOLed at that one.


John McCain is a pretty terrible person, but gets a pass on a lot of shit because he was a war hero shot down in Vietnam. I thought we were only supposed to like people that weren't captured?

Anyhow, I didn't read Drew's serious GQ piece, but hf61 did get a LOL from me on this line from his Jamboroo when writing about Greg Schiano:

I hope Tennessee tries to hire him AGAIN.
Balls: I know a guy who came home after high school one day to over hear his mom and dad having a 3some with another lady. He actually went to beat off during it in his room.
mister bacon: Wow no wonder PJ is so fucked up.
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Goose » 05 Dec 2017, 14:57

From today's mailbag.

Email of the week!

I’m a big guy, trying to lose weight. As a result of knowing myself and having been on this roller coaster before, I know that one thing that helps me lose weight is shifting to a high fiber diet (lots of salad) and eating a lot of active cultures (fermented foods like pickles, yogurt and kimchi). Obviously, this diet is also likely to result in more loose stool than my previous diet of french fries and IPAs with 9% ABV.

So, today I’m in the work restroom for my after-lunch constitutional. I’m a little surprised that my daily business is a little more watery than usual. But no big deal, I’m checking Twitter and things resolve as usual. However, walking out of the restroom back into the hallway, I feel a little apres-poop fart building. Like an idiot, I think, “NBD I’ll just rip this one before I get back to my desk and smell up the homestead.” BLORP. Oh god, I’ve just shit myself in the hallway in the middle of a workday.

In the span of 30 seconds I take the following actions 1) clench butt cheeks to avoid making the damage worse; 2) do a stiff-legged walk right back into the bathroom. 3) lock myself into the stall, drop trou, and check the damage. Now, I’ve spent most of a decade reading Great Moments in Poop History, so even in my distress I am ready for this moment. That 15-second walk back into the stall is in super slo mo and I am planning my actions like a poop ninja. I’ll clean up as much as I can out of my boxers with TP and then wrap the boxers in TP and put them in the garbage. No one will see.

So I get into the stall and drop trou and: THE BOXERS ARE CLEAN. Everything is clean. My iron ass has contained the considerable damage to skin contact only. I laugh gently to myself, clean up, triple wash my hands, and head back to work like nothing untoward has happened. I am the DB Cooper of shit accidents.


So close to TRU-SOTSGer.
Balls: I know a guy who came home after high school one day to over hear his mom and dad having a 3some with another lady. He actually went to beat off during it in his room.
mister bacon: Wow no wonder PJ is so fucked up.
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby TheWolf » 05 Dec 2017, 14:59

Goose wrote:From today's mailbag.

Email of the week!

I’m a big guy, trying to lose weight. As a result of knowing myself and having been on this roller coaster before, I know that one thing that helps me lose weight is shifting to a high fiber diet (lots of salad) and eating a lot of active cultures (fermented foods like pickles, yogurt and kimchi). Obviously, this diet is also likely to result in more loose stool than my previous diet of french fries and IPAs with 9% ABV.

So, today I’m in the work restroom for my after-lunch constitutional. I’m a little surprised that my daily business is a little more watery than usual. But no big deal, I’m checking Twitter and things resolve as usual. However, walking out of the restroom back into the hallway, I feel a little apres-poop fart building. Like an idiot, I think, “NBD I’ll just rip this one before I get back to my desk and smell up the homestead.” BLORP. Oh god, I’ve just shit myself in the hallway in the middle of a workday.

In the span of 30 seconds I take the following actions 1) clench butt cheeks to avoid making the damage worse; 2) do a stiff-legged walk right back into the bathroom. 3) lock myself into the stall, drop trou, and check the damage. Now, I’ve spent most of a decade reading Great Moments in Poop History, so even in my distress I am ready for this moment. That 15-second walk back into the stall is in super slo mo and I am planning my actions like a poop ninja. I’ll clean up as much as I can out of my boxers with TP and then wrap the boxers in TP and put them in the garbage. No one will see.

So I get into the stall and drop trou and: THE BOXERS ARE CLEAN. Everything is clean. My iron ass has contained the considerable damage to skin contact only. I laugh gently to myself, clean up, triple wash my hands, and head back to work like nothing untoward has happened. I am the DB Cooper of shit accidents.


So close to TRU-SOTSGer.


Wait... Salads and yogurt are likely to result in more loose stools than french fries and IPAs?
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Dthefritz » 05 Dec 2017, 18:57

TheWolf wrote:
Goose wrote:From today's mailbag.

Email of the week!

I’m a big guy, trying to lose weight. As a result of knowing myself and having been on this roller coaster before, I know that one thing that helps me lose weight is shifting to a high fiber diet (lots of salad) and eating a lot of active cultures (fermented foods like pickles, yogurt and kimchi). Obviously, this diet is also likely to result in more loose stool than my previous diet of french fries and IPAs with 9% ABV.

So, today I’m in the work restroom for my after-lunch constitutional. I’m a little surprised that my daily business is a little more watery than usual. But no big deal, I’m checking Twitter and things resolve as usual. However, walking out of the restroom back into the hallway, I feel a little apres-poop fart building. Like an idiot, I think, “NBD I’ll just rip this one before I get back to my desk and smell up the homestead.” BLORP. Oh god, I’ve just shit myself in the hallway in the middle of a workday.

In the span of 30 seconds I take the following actions 1) clench butt cheeks to avoid making the damage worse; 2) do a stiff-legged walk right back into the bathroom. 3) lock myself into the stall, drop trou, and check the damage. Now, I’ve spent most of a decade reading Great Moments in Poop History, so even in my distress I am ready for this moment. That 15-second walk back into the stall is in super slo mo and I am planning my actions like a poop ninja. I’ll clean up as much as I can out of my boxers with TP and then wrap the boxers in TP and put them in the garbage. No one will see.

So I get into the stall and drop trou and: THE BOXERS ARE CLEAN. Everything is clean. My iron ass has contained the considerable damage to skin contact only. I laugh gently to myself, clean up, triple wash my hands, and head back to work like nothing untoward has happened. I am the DB Cooper of shit accidents.


So close to TRU-SOTSGer.


Wait... Salads and yogurt are likely to result in more loose stools than french fries and IPAs?

In my experience, salads and yogurt result in a lot of small poops, whereas fries/beer will result in one big, messy poop, and got help you if you're not near the toilet at the moment of truth. The other ones require more frequent trips, but can be reasonably contained for a while.
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Gregs Kite » 07 Dec 2017, 14:44

In stunning news, noted liberal baby hf61 uses his Dick Joke Jambaroo to tell others how to live.

OH GOD GET FUCKED. Every time, man. Every single fucking time some redneck part of the country does something completely and predictably embarassing, there’s always some genteel expatriate ready to leap out from the hedgerows and be like, “Maybe the problem isn’t with the state that willfully ignores credulous reports of child predation. Maybe the problem is YEW!” Somehow, us Yankees are the intolerant ones for gagging at this shithole. Somehow Alabama is the victim. Gimme a break with the J.D. Vance nonsense. Fix your fucking shit, Bama.


I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS NEED TO DO BECAUSE I WENT TO COLBY AND I WILL IMPART MY VIEWS ON YOU!

You people are the worst. Congrats, you fucking idiot babies.
Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 07 Dec 2017, 14:52

Colby?
Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:10 pm Gregs Kite: You tried. Slap that on your resume.
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 07 Dec 2017, 14:55

Gregs Kite wrote:Somehow Alabama is the victim. Gimme a break with the J.D. Vance nonsense.


calling out our very own J.D. by name, sad! jike can't be held responsible for everything that happens in Alabama imo.
Gregs Kite - Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:55 pm: I hate DJ and his stupid face and hes so stupid and I want to punch him
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby JichaelDick » 07 Dec 2017, 14:59

Dr Jeckyll wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:Somehow Alabama is the victim. Gimme a break with the J.D. Vance nonsense.


calling out our very own J.D. by name, sad! jike can't be held responsible for everything that happens in Alabama imo.


I'm on record as a vociferous anti-Moore person. Moore just has his true believers--a lot like Trump, to be honest--and too many people here won't/can't vote to keep him out. I want Jones to win--worst case is Jones is gone by 2020 if he's terrible, and I think he'll be perfectly fine, but it's not going to happen.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 07 Dec 2017, 15:01

JichaelDick wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:Somehow Alabama is the victim. Gimme a break with the J.D. Vance nonsense.


calling out our very own J.D. by name, sad! jike can't be held responsible for everything that happens in Alabama imo.


I'm on record as a vociferous anti-Moore person. Moore just has his true believers--a lot like Trump, to be honest--and too many people here won't/can't vote to keep him out. I want Jones to win--worst case is Jones is gone by 2020 if he's terrible, and I think he'll be perfectly fine, but it's not going to happen.


i was just joking jike. bc he said JD when talking about alabama, i don't know who JD Vance is.
Gregs Kite - Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:55 pm: I hate DJ and his stupid face and hes so stupid and I want to punch him
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby JichaelDick » 07 Dec 2017, 15:03

Vance, as I recall, wrote the "Hillbilly Elegy" book that smarmy liberals like DREW thought was bad because it tried not to paint an entire section of Appalachia as humans, not mutants.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 07 Dec 2017, 15:10

wanna try that last section again?
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby JichaelDick » 07 Dec 2017, 15:13

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:wanna try that last section again?


Oh yeah, they hated him because he flat out bashed those folks, didn't they? He was "poor shaming" or some other nonsense. In other words, what Gup is doing isn't what Vance is doing, because Gup is trying to say we Alabamians aren't that bad.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: F---, Magary, Kill

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 07 Dec 2017, 15:31

JichaelDick wrote:
The Long Dick of the Law wrote:wanna try that last section again?


Oh yeah, they hated him because he flat out bashed those folks, didn't they? He was "poor shaming" or some other nonsense. In other words, what Gup is doing isn't what Vance is doing, because Gup is trying to say we Alabamians aren't that bad.

I meant more this:

"smarmy liberals like DREW thought was bad because it tried not to paint an entire section of Appalachia as humans, not mutants."

has one too many "not"s
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