Ode to the Sports Gal: Top 5 punchable faces of all time

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Ode to the Sports Gal: Top 5 punchable faces of all time

Postby Beer Goggles » 07 Dec 2004, 23:15

God I had way too much fun doing this...

1. Ken Jennings (Props to the Sports Gal)...He'd get a HELLACIOUS overhand right--Clark Griswold-MartyMoose style.
2. Paul Hamm...Yeah, yeah. I know he's our hero. But if he were a dog, he would be shitsu performing pelvic thrusts on my forearm.
3. Blonde guy on "Queer Eye" ...I can stand him for about .3 nanoseconds.
4. Rick Fox...ONE uppercut is all I ask.
5. Mel Kiper Jr. ...Arrogant guys--who have no reason to be--INFURIATE me! The permanent scowl on his face doesn't help either.


Honorable Mentions:
The Derek Lowe Face, Sigfried & Roy (They get one ballot...Unfortunately, the tiger beat me to one of them), Terry Francona (Yes, I'm a Red Sox. But if he didn't win the World Series, you'd have to give me a restraining order for all of the boners that he popped this year), Balcy, Derek Jeter (I'd like to blindside him after one of those fist pumps...a la Jermaine O'Neal), Carson Daly (No talents who hook up with supermodels just flatout piss me off. See: Rick Fox), John Cousack, Ross from Friends (See:Carson Daly), Shawn Green, Bob Sagat, Matthew Broderick, Phil Luckett (the former NFL referee), Pedro from the Real World S.F., Jar Jar Binks, Brevin Knight, Troy Edwards, George Karl, Sean Salsbury, "Doogie" (who is currently coaching the Nets), Jim Rome (I can't explain this one), Joe Morgan (this one needs no explanation).

I know I am leaving out a TON. We'll just consider this my first installment.... WOW. That felt GREAT!
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Postby howboutafrescahmmm » 08 Dec 2004, 08:43

Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumkins or whatever the name of his new fruitloop band is.....He was actually described in the British Maxim as Rock's most punchable front man
"The Yankees have that guy (Tony) Womack playing left field," Henderson said. "If I can't play that position at least as well as he can, I'll hang up the spikes right now.'' ? Rickey Henderson.
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Postby Big Scary Monster » 08 Dec 2004, 08:45

Pedro from the Real World S.F.???

That dude died of AIDS! Thats pretty harsh.
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Postby Big Scary Monster » 08 Dec 2004, 08:46

And while I am still thinking about it, he is the only one who got in Puck's face about the peanut butter.
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Postby howboutafrescahmmm » 08 Dec 2004, 08:50

Big Scary Monster wrote:And while I am still thinking about it, he is the only one who got in Puck's face about the peanut butter.


For a minute there I though Pedro was gonna slap him with his purse.... Although I think Puck was one of those fake toughguys that talk a lot of shit, but once the punches started flying he'd probably curl up in a ball, I think my money is on Pedro
"The Yankees have that guy (Tony) Womack playing left field," Henderson said. "If I can't play that position at least as well as he can, I'll hang up the spikes right now.'' ? Rickey Henderson.
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Postby Big Scary Monster » 08 Dec 2004, 08:54

I hated Puck and I still do to this day. I am not sure if Pedro could have taken him... perhaps if that crappy cartoon artist guy that ended up marrying Pam would jump in and help Pedro, they could give Puck a good beatdown.
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Postby howboutafrescahmmm » 08 Dec 2004, 08:57

Big Scary Monster wrote:I hated Puck and I still do to this day. I am not sure if Pedro could have taken him... perhaps if that crappy cartoon artist guy that ended up marrying Pam would jump in and help Pedro, they could give Puck a good beatdown.


hehe I think Rachel (sp?) would have been on Puck's side, wasn;t the peanust butter thing during their two episode fling?
"The Yankees have that guy (Tony) Womack playing left field," Henderson said. "If I can't play that position at least as well as he can, I'll hang up the spikes right now.'' ? Rickey Henderson.
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punchables

Postby ro50 » 08 Dec 2004, 10:56

I don't see how this discussion can continue without adding Mike Martz's name into the mix.
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Postby TheWolf » 08 Dec 2004, 13:01

1.) George Steinbrenner (He should be #1 on everyone's list)
2.) Derek Jeter (For obvious reasons)
3.) Scott Stapp (Quite possibly the worst singer alive...why is he famous?)
4.) Hugh Grant (Easily the most obnoxious actor ever)
5.) Carson Daly (Same reason Beer Goggles gave)

That was a lot easier than I expected it to be. Those five just popped into my head instantly. Some honorable mentions, just to name a few: Nicolas Cage, Ken Jennings, Joan Cusack (I have no problem with her brother, but she infuriates the piss out of me), all members of The Strokes/Hives/Vines/White Stripes/Killers (and any other band that is basically exactly the same as them), Kobe Bryant, Warren Sapp, Keyshawn Johnson, Paul O'Neill, Vin Diesel, Alex Rodriguez, the Manning family, Ashlee Simpson, Dan Duquette. I could go on, but I'll stop there I guess.
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Re: punchables

Postby Beer Goggles » 08 Dec 2004, 18:00

ro50 wrote:I don't see how this discussion can continue without adding Mike Martz's name into the mix.



God damnit... This is your first post and I like you already. Amen brother.
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Postby Beer Goggles » 08 Dec 2004, 18:08

Big Scary Monster wrote:That dude died of AIDS! Thats pretty harsh.


...Nobody has ever accused me of being soft.

(By the way...Look at my list. In accordance with the SoSG rules, I was equally insensitive to all groups, religions, races, and sexual orientation preferences.)
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Postby Tecmo Bo » 08 Dec 2004, 18:59

1.) Jesus
2.) Buddha
3.) Mohamed
4.) Ghandi
5.) Mother Teresa

I just really want to know if they'd actually hit back or whether they're all talk.
bosux191820042090: what kills more is that now more than ever the team needs him[A-Rod] to put it on his back, and he can't...i hate to say this, but if given a choice i would rather have ortiz on my team any day
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Postby Beer Goggles » 08 Dec 2004, 20:23

A few that I left out...

Bill Laimbeer
Danny Ainge
Steve Bartman
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Postby jack_daniels » 08 Dec 2004, 20:32

Anyone from the Flyers(they beat us in the 1st round for the second year in a row in the playoffs!)

Jack from Will and Grace(my g.f. forces me to watch this and every time he shows up I think to myself "what a faggg")

Vince Carter(stopped caring about 2 years ago)

Bill Laimbeer(Not a celtics fan, but from what I read from the SG....he seems like a real bastard)

Ben Affleck(he just pisses me off for being alive)
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Postby Snake » 09 Dec 2004, 04:37

How about everyone associated with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore's piece of crap movie? You realize the original script called for them to make out on the field after the Sox lost and he chose her over the team? This group includes everyone in MLB who greenlighted letting them on the field after the game.
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