LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 30 Apr 2015, 10:48

Iron Mike Sharpe wrote:No longer with ESPN.com

http://deadspin.com/haughty-dipshit-gre ... 1701211035


WHAT ABOUT OUR LONG DICK TAKE DOWNS?! fuck
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 30 Apr 2015, 10:55

We've still got DTF and his Simmons breakdowns!
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby CourtesyFlush » 30 Apr 2015, 10:57

Iron Mike Sharpe wrote:We've still got DTF and his Simmons breakdowns novels!
Gregs Kite - Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:24 pm: I don't know, my Wolfpack can be sneaky good in these games

JichaelDick - Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:47 am: Fulsh, you truly are the best North Carolinian ever. Sorry, Andy Griffith.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Mario Speedwagon » 30 Apr 2015, 10:58

Iron Mike Sharpe wrote:No longer with ESPN.com

http://deadspin.com/haughty-dipshit-gre ... 1701211035


LDOTL reached for his notebook and wrote “career over”.
#2C4S

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 30 Apr 2015, 15:56

mister bacon love watching soccer. baseball is about as exciting as scratching my balls.
MisterTambourineMan you're not scratching your balls right, then.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 30 Apr 2015, 16:45

close, but we were looking for

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Mario Speedwagon » 30 Apr 2015, 16:53

#2C4S

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby JichaelDick » 30 Apr 2015, 16:56

This is how I feel when I see all the damn people quoting IMS...

TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 01 Oct 2015, 11:52

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW SNAP BITCHEZZZZZZZZZZ

Guess who's writing for the New York TIIIIIIIIIIIIMES

From Week 1:

What did Eli Manning know and when did he know it? This seems to be the question as the New York Giants — the last time you will see that name in this column — face the aftermath of their botched outing at Dallas, the team’s worst epic fail since the 2010 contest in which they allowed the Eagles to score four touchdowns in the final seven minutes to overcome a seemingly bulletproof 31-10 mid-fourth-quarter advantage.

That’s a 74-word lead with a parenthetical clause and a double hyphenation. Welcome to Tuesday Morning Quarterback.


Look at that introduction to GREGGGGGGGGGG, SAVOR THAT INTRODUCTION!

Are you tingly? I'm tingly

Instead an incompletion stopped the Greek-portico-columns-sized timepiece on Jerry Jones’s Chinese-naval-island-sized scoreboard, preserving enough seconds for the Cowboys to record the winning points the other way.


That's the end of the next paragraph. Oh, the wonderful metaphors painting a perfect 72"-4K-curved-screen-ultra-hd-3D-smart-tv image.

Next week, The Upshot’s 4th Down Bot returns — buzz, whir, clank — from vacation at a robot resort on the dark side of the moon. Tuesday Morning Quarterback will delve into the deep-seated psychohistorical reasons that coaches send out kickers on fourth-and-short.


My nipples are perked just thinking about it

Purists may lament the situation, but to fans, roster churn matters not. Football’s Rule of 90/90 holds that 90 percent of the fans have no idea who 90 percent of the players are.


Are we just making shit up? Sounds like we're making shit up

Great Moments in Football Management No. 1. On “Monday Night Football,” Julio Jones caught nine passes for 141 yards and two touchdowns — none too shabby. Netting the 2011 Cleveland-Atlanta trade and subsequent transactions, the Browns gave up Jones, one of the N.F.L.’s best players, for Johnny Manziel, one of the N.F.L.’s players.

From the many picks Cleveland acquired in the Jones deal, the Browns still have Manziel, chosen with a draft choice attained in subsequent trades. Of other Jones-linked players, the Browns have waived Phil Taylor, Greg Little, Owen Marecic and Brandon Weeden.


Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA. Stop this shit right here. Now the Julio Jones trade is "Great Moments in Football Management"??? I thought Julio Jones was a no good shifty glory boy 1st round draft pick from a football factory that was causing turf wars with Roddy White of lowly UAB.

AUGUST 2014, TMQ WRITES:

Since they took their home field for the NFC title game, the Falcons are 4-13. General manager Thomas Dimitroff gambled the club's future on the 2011 kings' ransom trade for Julio Jones, and the gamble failed. Not only did Atlanta fail to reach the Super Bowl, but Jones also has failed to justify the trade.


Oh this guy, didn't you miss him?

Because racial issues boil below the surface of the N.F.L., the situation between Kelly and McCoy makes league insiders uncomfortable. When the Bills play at Philadelphia on Dec. 13, a pregame man-hug between these two would seem in order.


Yeah, that's gonna happen

Rex Ryan Boast of the Week. Ryan is nothing if not entertaining — his news conferences should include a live band and cash bar. After his Bills bested the Colts by 27-14, Ryan said the only slight disappointment was they didn’t shut out Indianapolis.


How dare a defensively-minded coach express that his only slight disappointment (which he was probably asked to give) was not having a shut out. What an asshole.

ON TO WEEK 2:

The Steelers’ try succeeded, putting Pittsburgh ahead, 8-0, and firing up the home crowd. Seeing their coaches go all-in to win, rather than stick with “safe” tactics, seemed to fire up Steelers players, too, setting in motion a runaway victory.


Totally what did it, not the 49ers being a shitty team. Someone please inform greggggggggg that correlation does not equal causality

This Is the Team That Went to Three Straight N.F.C. Title Games? On one possession at Pittsburgh, the 49ers ran nine snaps in the red zone and came away with no points.


Like looking at them and saying "This is the Team That Won Five Super Bowls"???

THIS WEEK

J.J. Watt Is Very Good at Publicity, Not So Good at Helping His Team Win. After the Moo-Cows defeated the Buccaneers, J.J. Watt thumped his chest as if Houston had just won the Super Bowl. What Houston had just done was beat the worst team of last season.

Definitely JJ Watt's fault his TEAM sucks, especially his quarterbacks. Obviously, Watt is a failure
mister bacon love watching soccer. baseball is about as exciting as scratching my balls.
MisterTambourineMan you're not scratching your balls right, then.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Gregs Kite » 01 Oct 2015, 11:57

I hate that I agree with Gregggggg that Watt is a spotlight seeking hardo.

Glad to have you back, Longwind.
You fuckers ruined kite.

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby mister bacon » 01 Oct 2015, 12:20

grrrr. me first glory-boys are the worst.

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Gregs Kite » 01 Oct 2015, 12:31

mister bacon wrote:grrrr. me first glory-boys are the worst.

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Troll game needs work today, brah.
You fuckers ruined kite.

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

Frank the Tank wrote:If I die I leave my red font to Kite.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby mister bacon » 01 Oct 2015, 12:47

ain't nobody trolling. there's very little daylight between watt and gronk as human beings. (watt is probably smarter, but that's about it) so i'm genuinely puzzled about why you continue to harp on watt and give your boy a pass.

maybe it's because hating watt allows you to be the type of angry you wanna be about gronk but just can't bring yourself to do because he plays for your team?
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ctz31 - Mon Dec 12, 2016 10:30 pm: I'm gonna win a chip w romo. I'm done w blacks. No offense
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Briandong79 » 01 Oct 2015, 12:51

mister bacon wrote:ain't nobody trolling. there's very little daylight between watt and gronk as human beings. (watt is probably smarter, but that's about it) so i'm genuinely puzzled about why you continue to harp on watt and give your boy a pass.

maybe it's because hating watt allows you to be the type of angry you wanna be about gronk but just can't bring yourself to do because he plays for your team?


I'd say there is pretty considerable difference in how they present themselves. Watt puts himself out there as a "football is everything" guy but definitely somewhat robotically controls his public image. Gronk is just what he is. I like the shit talking version of Watt but don't particularly like his public persona.
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Colonel Angus » 01 Oct 2015, 12:51

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"it was such a sexy goal, that punched me right in the balls. metaphorically"
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