LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Dthefritz » 18 Sep 2017, 22:45

MisterTambourineMan wrote:
The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Guh, he pronounces New Orleans not "N'Awlins" or "New OR-lens" or even "New or-LEENS" but "New Or-le-ans"


Ha! This angers me way more than it should.

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 19 Sep 2017, 14:04

Later in the season Tuesday Morning Quarterback will lay out the mythology of the football gods. My favorite is Lambasthor, god of halftime tirades.


Oh boy, can't wait :roll: :roll: :roll:

(Concussion risk below the NFL level will be the topic of the October 10 TMQ, so hold that thought.)


Well gee just tease the whole rest of the season

It’s more that the shotgun spread/zone read/RPO craze produces receivers who do not know how to read coverages to “sight adjust” (react to what the defense offers), because the college craze is the same three patterns (bubble screen, deep sideline, and shallow out) endlessly repeated.


Ah there it is, decline in quality of play is due to the horrid GLORYYYY BOYSSSSSSSSSSS. This is the reason presented for:

But missed tackles and blown coverages abound. Many football enthusiasts are asking—what’s happening with quality of play?


Receivers (supposedly) only knowing how to run 3 routes causes missed tackles and blown coverages (which, hey, don't receivers want that?)

And it’s that contemporary offensive linemen come out of college accustomed to brush-blocking their men, then jogging downfield. In a quick-screen offense, that’s fine. At the professional level, it’s not fine.


Oh, college receivers and linemen and their skill sets learned in college lead to missed tackles and blown coverages......

Audiences rarely watch the linemen


Image

still beating this dead straw-horse-man

Maybe the issue with the perception of NFL decline is that fear of traumatic brain injury turns professional football into a guilty pleasure. Sunday, the Broncos’ Bennie Fowler took a knockout head hit that left him woozy and unable to walk without staggering. “That’s difficult to watch,” Fox’s Joe Buck said. (By Monday, Fowler seemed basically okay.)


seemed basically okay???? Well I feel better about him now!

Now, the sight of brain harm raises uncomfortable comparisons between the NFL and professional prizefighting, which fell out of favor over the sense that society should not encourage spectacles that led to “boxer’s brain.”


Too true, not like Floyd Mayweather just made $100 MILLION DOLLARS FOR ONE FIGHT WHICH IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION.

But awareness of TBI makes watching football less fun, contributing to the perception of declining quality.


Evidence presented to back this up so far is a) decline in scoring per game so far compared to the most recent seasons; and b) __________________

just put this one down as a #SCIENTIFICCERTAINTY

One other aspect of the impression of declining play is that the explosion of sports information—stats, replays, the “A22” skybox view of NFL games—take some of the magic out.


Image

Hey you know what makes that deep pass less fun... watching and rewatching the WR juke a DB out of his jockstrap. You know what makes that Odell Beckham catch less fun? Watching it again and again from all angles in slow mo that shows just how fucking insane that catch was, really kills my appreciation for the play.

When all most people could do was watch one NFL game live on regular television, the quick-cut to an open receiver implied he’d done something spectacular to beat the defense. Pause your Xfinity and roll back, or check the A22, or scan social media posts, and you’re likely to realize what really happened is that the receiver ran in a straight line and a defender fell down.


All receivers are open because a defender fell down. And we hate seeing people fall down. King of Queens/Paul Blart dude hasn't made millions falling down for the amusement of others.

NFL coaches once were viewed as possessed of incredible insiders’ secrets; with each successive year, more and more high school kids know all those secrets. When the Falcons can’t hold a 28-3 second-half Super Bowl lead because they insist on calling deep-drop passes rather than working the clock, NFL coaches look like idiots. It’s more entertaining to believe something magical is happening. And that belief is fading.


No coach ever did anything dumb before Atlanta in the Super Bowl. Sports fans never thought they could coach better than their head coach. No coaching decision has ever been questioned. And you know what REALLY hurt the game? Replays that showed how OCs schemed to get receivers open and cross up defenders. Replays showing how DCs countered plays that worked in the first half or previous weeks by dropping LBs/DLs into coverage or setting a spy, etc.

Stats of the Week #3. Green Bay has played two of its last three games at Atlanta, falling behind a combined 48-7 by halftime.


Geez, how dumb must GB's coaches be to fall behind those morons?

In the third Star Wars movie—third produced, sixth in the new chronology—the sinister Emperor Palpatine had a bottomless pit in his office.


Actually 7th in the new chronology, AND BEFORE YOU SAY DURRRR ROGUE ONE DOESN'T COUNT

The latest Star Wars installment, Rogue One,


A good way to avoid tumbling into a bottomless pit is to hang by your fingertips. A coming TMQ will obsess about that.


How does Mrs. TMQ survive someone who teases so much

The Bengals are now 0-2, both losses at home. After the latest loss, on Thursday Night Football, Lewis scapegoated offensive coordinator Ken Zampese, firing him. All NFL offensive and defensive coordinators know that being scapegoated is an occupational hazard—they’re highly paid in part to compensate for this risk. But Zampese didn’t make the ultra-conservative decision to punt on 4th-and-inches on the other team’s side of the field.


The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Prediction Lock of the Week:

Cincy/Marvin Lewis deflecting blame by firing OC, of course...



Nice Pass But No Miracle. When Florida hit a 63-yard touchdown pass as time expired to defeat Tennessee, CBS announcer Brad Nessler called the play “a miracle,” while many in the sportsyak world, including the NCAA, described what happened as a Hail Mary.

The word “miracle” is misused in sports to mean something extraordinary. A miracle is an event that contravenes physical law—and long touchdowns don’t contravene physical law. Okay, it’s just sports, and “miracle” often is misused to mean any welcome low-probability result. Still, if there are indeed miracles, they don’t happen during football games.

And the action was not a Hail Mary, which in football is a long touchdown typically on the final play when the scoring team is expected to lose. Florida’s touchdown came with the contest tied; the scoring team was expected to go to overtime. The final down of Philadelphia-Kansas City was a Hail Mary, because the Nesharim had to complete the improbable pass, or lose.


First off, back off my pedantic word-Nazi'ing

Second, Hail Marys aren't Hail Marys when the game is tied? FOOH

In American football, a Hail Mary pass is a long, desperate pass at the end of the game that is hoped may gain some points


Boom

Image

Next Week. The glorious reboot of a TMQ running item, New York Times Corrections on Fast-Forward.


Teasing me so much I'm about to asplode
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Jew Jitsu » 19 Sep 2017, 15:14

What asshole told Long Dick that they read his breakdowns so this poor bastard spends a whole morning writing this nonsense?
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 19 Sep 2017, 15:21

Jew Jitsu wrote:What asshole told Long Dick that they read his breakdowns so this poor bastard spends a whole morning writing this nonsense?


Image


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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby jman » 19 Sep 2017, 22:41

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
The Bengals are now 0-2, both losses at home. After the latest loss, on Thursday Night Football, Lewis scapegoated offensive coordinator Ken Zampese, firing him. All NFL offensive and defensive coordinators know that being scapegoated is an occupational hazard—they’re highly paid in part to compensate for this risk. But Zampese didn’t make the ultra-conservative decision to punt on 4th-and-inches on the other team’s side of the field.


The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Prediction Lock of the Week:

Cincy/Marvin Lewis deflecting blame by firing OC, of course...


funny how he didn't mention them failing to score a single touchdown in two those losses at home, and that just might have played a factor in Zampese's firing. Or maybe he did. I didn't read the article because I'm not a masochist like SOME PEOPLE.

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
Nice Pass But No Miracle. When Florida hit a 63-yard touchdown pass as time expired to defeat Tennessee, CBS announcer Brad Nessler called the play “a miracle,” while many in the sportsyak world, including the NCAA, described what happened as a Hail Mary.

The word “miracle” is misused in sports to mean something extraordinary. A miracle is an event that contravenes physical law—and long touchdowns don’t contravene physical law. Okay, it’s just sports, and “miracle” often is misused to mean any welcome low-probability result. Still, if there are indeed miracles, they don’t happen during football games.

And the action was not a Hail Mary, which in football is a long touchdown typically on the final play when the scoring team is expected to lose. Florida’s touchdown came with the contest tied; the scoring team was expected to go to overtime. The final down of Philadelphia-Kansas City was a Hail Mary, because the Nesharim had to complete the improbable pass, or lose.


First off, back off my pedantic word-Nazi'ing

Second, Hail Marys aren't Hail Marys when the game is tied? FOOH


I'm gonna agree with Greggggg on this one

Image

But not for the asinine reasons he uses. It wasn't your typical hail mary where there's 12 guys in the end zone all going for a jump ball, it was just a busted coverage where the QB kept the play alive long enough for the receiver to get behind the defense and into the end zone, and they connected on a sweet ass pass. Maybe technically still a hail mary but not the usual cluster fuck of a play you usually see at the end of games.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 20 Sep 2017, 06:34

jman wrote:
I'm gonna agree with Greggggg on this one

Image

But not for the asinine reasons he uses. It wasn't your typical hail mary where there's 12 guys in the end zone all going for a jump ball, it was just a busted coverage where the QB kept the play alive long enough for the receiver to get behind the defense and into the end zone, and they connected on a sweet ass pass. Maybe technically still a hail mary but not the usual cluster fuck of a play you usually see at the end of games.


I would have been ok if this had been his angle but he came from the, "Hail Marys are only if your team is losing" BS.

Jew Jitsu wrote:What asshole told Long Dick that they read his breakdowns so this poor bastard spends a whole morning writing this nonsense?


*looks at published time* 3:00 pm... yep all morning folks! Nothing else done on this bored all day. Didn't waste my last 30 minutes of work doing this. Spent alllll morning. You nailed that almost as hard as US bombs nailed Sarajevo
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby TheWolf » 20 Sep 2017, 07:25

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
jman wrote:
I'm gonna agree with Greggggg on this one

Image

But not for the asinine reasons he uses. It wasn't your typical hail mary where there's 12 guys in the end zone all going for a jump ball, it was just a busted coverage where the QB kept the play alive long enough for the receiver to get behind the defense and into the end zone, and they connected on a sweet ass pass. Maybe technically still a hail mary but not the usual cluster fuck of a play you usually see at the end of games.


I would have been ok if this had been his angle but he came from the, "Hail Marys are only if your team is losing" BS.

Jew Jitsu wrote:What asshole told Long Dick that they read his breakdowns so this poor bastard spends a whole morning writing this nonsense?


*looks at published time* 3:00 pm... yep all morning folks! Nothing else done on this bored all day. Didn't waste my last 30 minutes of work doing this. Spent alllll morning. You nailed that almost as hard as US bombs nailed Sarajevo


SLAYED.

I do find it fascinating that you spend any time reading this guy, let alone providing a long breakdown for us to... not read, usually. But it's your time, so you do you.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Jew Jitsu » 20 Sep 2017, 11:27

You got issues man. Good luck with all that
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 20 Sep 2017, 12:01

Thanks fam, and good luck with the drug-resistant gonorrhea
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Goose » 21 Sep 2017, 16:11

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Thanks fam, and good luck with the drug-resistant gonorrhea


I read and enjoy LD's breakdowns of Gregg.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 28 Sep 2017, 06:35

Dropping the ball here, sorry to everyone but jitz.

Starting with last week's podcast, this one's up to 26 min. Feel the excitement...

Sticking with that theory that college football style is why NFL play in decline. Says college football has never been more different from NFL game than today.... apparently I missed all the triple option teams in the 70s, 80s, up to the 90s when Nebraska is winning national titles with the triple option....

Spread option has much more passing than triple option and NFL runs many more shotgun plays now as well...

Still saying the "mystery" and "magic" of plays ruined by all the replays AND HOLY HELL DVR/PAUSING AND REPLAYING PLAYS IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME IS RUINING THE MAGIC....

This is still the dumbest of all his many dumb theories. I'd much rather sit there going, "Who screwed up that that guy was so wide open" as opposed to replay, "oh so and so fell down or miscommunication on D or he juked the DB out of his jock" :roll: :roll:

Seriously... the "magic" of it all is ruined. This isn't fucking Santa Claus here.

Apparently the possible drop in quality of play is from people falling down and Greggggggggg wants all 22 film of the 72 dolphins to see how many people fell down. People do not fall down in the secondary that much. It's like maybe 5 times a game unless it's pouring down rain.

Oh hey, getting on real issues in potential drop in quality of play, offensive line play is declining (of course this is from Polian saying it, not Gregggggg thinking it).

Gregggggg says the Patriots' logo is "Do your job." This will shock you, but Greggggg is wrong.

Now they're bitching about players not seeming to care about winning/losing, players aren't pissed/crying after losses and say we need more Brett Favres out there (die). Cam Newton takes losing horribly and gets raked over the coals any time he's not in the mood to answer stupid fucking questions after a game. Wonder why more players aren't that way!

Anyone remember Belichick being denounced as a terrible coach back in 2006/07 (?) when Belichick went for it on 4th and 2 in his own territory late in the game vs the Colts, they didn't get it and lost? No? Because no one denounced him as a terrible coach when it happened? Ok, cool, cuz Gregggggggg just throws it out there as fact and proof of why coaches don't go for it on 4th more often. :roll:

Ok, gonna do some work so that I'm not just a complete parasite at work, will maybe do this week's article later. (read: I'm totes starting it now and several hours from now I'll finally finish /jitz)
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby the cheese » 28 Sep 2017, 08:20

There is a reason this column has moved from ESPN to NFL.com back to ESPN to blogger to medium to the Weekly Standard...it's shit. Gregg Easterbrook is a shit public intellectual and the only thing worse than his opinions on things that matter are his opinions on football. I enjoy what you do here, but jesus christ I don't know how you do it.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 28 Sep 2017, 12:38

Forgot to include with the podcast listen that my prediction is Gregggggggggg ignores Cincy scoring 2 TDs on its first 3 possessions this past week after 0 TDs in the previous 2 games leading to the firing of the OC (which included a near mutiny of offensive players) which Gregggggggg sees as blame shifting because we're just pushing every shaped peg into that round hole

Recent NFL seasons have begun with waves of negativity: the Ray Rice controversy to start the 2014 season, the assault on the airwaves by DraftKings and FanDuel at the start of 2015, the Tom Brady suspension in the first month of 2016. This year it’s President Donald Trump denouncing NFL players as unpatriotic


Do DraftKings and FanDuel belong anywhere in this list?

The decline in popularity of prizefighting seems to me social progress


I know boxing isn't the spectacle it once was but hasn't UFC/MMA picked up that slack with the decline more due to the fracturing of the titles and weight classes? Also, a dude just made $100 million for a prizefight

Stats of the Week #7. The Browns have not won a road game since October 2015.


"Only because they own Indy so it's not considered a road game"

Buck-Buck-Brawckkkkkkk. Winless Cincinnati was leading 21-17 when the Bengals faced 4th-and-2 on the Packers 28 in the fourth quarter. Victories don’t come in the mail, go win the game! But Marvin Lewis did the “safe” thing, and defeat followed.

Buck-Buck Bonus: when the game went to overtime, a five minute rest-and-recoup period was held. As soon as play resumed, Cincinnati called time out.


All that was missing was a follow up shot on Lewis for firing the OC

Anyway, about half the column is him listing KAAA-RAAAAAAZY New York Times corrections from the past year.

No that's not an exaggeration.

Football column!
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 05 Oct 2017, 08:22

All right, podcast from last week time, hooray :roll:

Back down to 15 minutes for this one after 26 or 28 the week before...

"the genius behind Tuesday Morning Quarterback..."

:roll: :roll: :roll:

Talking Trump... which... whatever but what is so hard about understanding people watch and talk sports to escape the soul-crushing depression of the real world and don't want politics involved for just a couple hours where we yell at each other over what laundry we root for as opposed to yelling about everything else?

Halfway into this (admittedly short) podcast, zero actual football talk

"Fans are going to unite under a banner that says, 'Just Play the Damn Game'"

co-sign, might want to follow your own advice and just talk about the damn game(s)

"The Jaguars are either really bad or really good"

Or they're middling.... which, I'm betting they finish in a 7-9, 8-8, 9-7 range

"Let's hope we go into next week with more talk about football and less on Trump and Kaepernick."

No one made you guys ignore 90% of the games/teams and talk about those two twats.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 06 Oct 2017, 09:45

Stats of the Week #7. The Dolphins have one scoring play in their last eight quarters.


Image

Sweet ‘n’ Sour Play of the Week. Kansas City facing 3rd-and-goal on the Washington 1, Alex Smith motioned Kareem Hunt, the league’s hottest player, to change positions. At the snap, Smith faked to Hunt; having him change positions pre-snap made R*dsk*ns defenders assume Hunt would get the ball. Smith kept it and ran for the score, capping an NFL weekend of college-style quarterback touchdown rushes.


Having him change position, something that QBs make RBs do all the time, didn't make the Washington Redskins assume Hunt would get the ball. Hunt being TMQ-admitted "league's hottest player" and the play-fake to Hunt made them key on Hunt.

Sour for Washington was that Smith scored untouched: from the team’s 1, the opposition quarterback was able to reach the end zone without a Washington defender making contact with him.


QBs get to waltz in fairly often from the 1 because Ds have to key up on RBs and have the smallest margin for error. This is nothing earth-shattering

Buck-Buck-Brawckkkkkkk. In the second half in London, New Orleans went for it on 4th-and-1. On the very next series, Miami punted on 4th-and-1. This is all the information you need to know who won the game.


Only ever mentioned when it fits the narrative, never brought up when, say the Saints lost to New England despite going for it on 4th a bunch.

Bills note: In the third quarter, Buffalo faced 3rd-and-3. Back in his callow youth, when Virginia Tech faced Stanford in the Orange Bowl, quarterback Tyrod Taylor did a stop-on-a-dime-and-leave-some-change maneuver, reversing field to escape a crowd of defenders.




:sniff: :sniff: :sniff: :sniff: :sniff: :sniff: #hero

BTW, that's Harbaugh he stops and throws in front of, fun facts for everyone!
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