LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 22 Aug 2017, 12:53

JichaelDick wrote:For the record, Baltimore held like hell in Super Bowl XLVII against Frisco at the end of that game, too.

He mentioned that one too, it also was not the most exciting play of the year.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby JichaelDick » 22 Aug 2017, 13:03

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
JichaelDick wrote:For the record, Baltimore held like hell in Super Bowl XLVII against Frisco at the end of that game, too.

He mentioned that one too, it also was not the most exciting play of the year.


Of course not. This was...

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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 30 Aug 2017, 15:42

ess bee talk about BRS reminded me of this guy!

All the Atlanta Falcons had to do was run straight ahead and they would have won the Super Bowl. Yet they got cute, and paid a price.

...

It’s not just football coaches, but leaders and nations that often fail to take simple, obvious steps.

...

The Ottoman Empire joined the Central Powers rather than remain neutral, and went out of existence as a result. (The Ottoman choice was to be left alone, or get cute and cease to exist.) There are countless similar examples.


First off, remaining neutral in World War I ensured everyone left you alone, right Belgium?

Second, they'd been the sick man of Europe for, what, at least a century by this point? Entering the war may have sped up the collapse, but they'd been declining for quite a while and declining more and more rapidly since the turn of the century.

Coaches order passes when an old-fashioned fullback dive would do the trick because winning a game with a passing play will cause the coach to be lauded, the way Bill Walsh (your columnist’s favorite coach) was lauded when a goal line passing play beat the heavily favored Cowboys in the 1982 NFC title contest.


This straw man will outlive us all

Is the problem that after the Cubbies overcame the Curse of the Billy Goat to win the World Series, Chicago sports negativity is now transferred to Arizona? This franchise began as the Chicago Cardinals. The Cardinals last title was in 1947: They rival the Poland-Lithuanian Commonwealth for longest streak since winning everything.


This is something someone was paid to write. It's like Bill Simmons' idiotic karma theories fucked DTF's rambling tangents and gave us this

They start the season with a new TMQ cognomon: the Atlanta Epic Fails.


awww shit the kids will be all over that!

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Sans Norman, Carolina dropped from sixth in defense in 2015 to 21st in 2016. But the Washington franchise, where Norman now tapes his ankles, was 28th in defense in 2016, so maybe Norman was not that important to either team.


Boy that is some solid logic. "Would PJ be better off if his wife hadn't cheated on him and they were still happily married? Well she's not with the guy she cheated with so obviously just not that important to either guy"

After the 1998 flip-flop, the Chargers chose Ryan Leaf. Let’s hope this does not jinx Trubisky—or that his luck with injuries will not be as bad as was Leaf’s. (Those who mock Leaf as a bust skip the injury aspect.)


see last week, it was more than injuries, but you keep fucking that chicken

The sportsyak world was perplexed that the Bears would make a huge move for a quarterback hard upon signing Mike Glennon to what was announced as a $45 million contract.


The only perplexing thing was signing Mike Glennon

Schiano exhibits low character. Doesn’t Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer claim to extol character?


When I think of good ol Urban Meyer I think character

Coached by a Princeton grad, the Boys continue to exhibit low football IQ. Dez Bryant said that last season in a 17-15 victory over Minnesota, the Cowboys recorded a long touchdown on a stop-and-go move because they knew Vikings’ safety Harrison Smith likes to jump short routes. Now the Cowboys can’t use this ploy should Dallas and Minnesota meet in the playoffs.


Yeah Mike Zimmer doesn't know shit about defense and wouldn't have noticed that on film, waaaaaay to ruin it Dez

In the Patriots’ improbable comeback, hidden plays began before the kickoff. Atlanta offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan went upstairs to a skybox, where he was physically isolated during the fourth quarter disaster. New England’s coordinators were on the sideline, where they always are. From a skybox coaches get a clear view of the safeties, who can be hard to see from the sideline; but on the sideline, coaches can talk to players as they come off the field.


I know... if only they'd put some kind of phone or headset on the sideline that would allow players to communicate with coaches in the box....

During last preseason, Belichick, who normally holds cards close to his vest, mused that the new touchback rule—a kickoff downed in the end zone comes out to the 25—would cause teams to become lazy about receiving kickoffs, because they’d be happy with drive starts at the 25. Pooch kicks aimed at the opponent’s five yard line could catch teams off-guard, Belichick said. Through the second half comeback, New England onside kicked once; all other kickoffs were pooches aimed at the Atlanta five, and the Falcons were unprepared. The result was Atlanta second-half drive starts at the 10, 11, 19, and 27—a huge win for New England in field-position terms. The drive start at the 11 came after the Flying Elvii tied the game with 52 seconds in regulation. Had the Falcons gotten a decent return, they had a good shot at a field goal to win as time expired. Instead they were stuck on their 11,unprepared for a tactic the opponent’s coach openly discussed!


BUT YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH DEZ!!!!

He has Lambeau Field, the greatest weapon in sports!


It's still 1995 in Gregggggg's head

Break-the-Boredom Draft Trade. As the draft was drawing to a close, Washington sent picks 201 and 220 to Minnesota for picks 199 and 230. This transaction is all but certain never to have any impact on either team’s record, but gave the many coaches of the R*dsk*ns and many coaches of the Vikings something to do, which justified their expense accounts for the day.


Ok dude, find that hidden motive in everything

The 2017 Super Bowl saw Atlanta lose offensive lineman Ryan Schaefer to a second-half injury, then lose the title. The 2016 Super Bowl saw the Panthers lose offensive linemen Andrew Norwell to a second-half injury, then lose the title. The 2015 Super Bowl saw the Seahawks lose defensive lineman Cliff Abril to a second-half injury, then lose the title.


Carolina lost long before that injury
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Dthefritz » 30 Aug 2017, 19:51

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:ess bee talk about BRS reminded me of this guy!

All the Atlanta Falcons had to do was run straight ahead and they would have won the Super Bowl. Yet they got cute, and paid a price.

...

It’s not just football coaches, but leaders and nations that often fail to take simple, obvious steps.

...

The Ottoman Empire joined the Central Powers rather than remain neutral, and went out of existence as a result. (The Ottoman choice was to be left alone, or get cute and cease to exist.) There are countless similar examples.


First off, remaining neutral in World War I ensured everyone left you alone, right Belgium?

Second, they'd been the sick man of Europe for, what, at least a century by this point? Entering the war may have sped up the collapse, but they'd been declining for quite a while and declining more and more rapidly since the turn of the century.

Not to mention that one of Russia's major goals in the war was to eat Turkey for lunch, something they probably would have already done 50 years earlier had the British/French not intervened in the Crimean War. Neutrality was simply not a realistic option for them.

Is the problem that after the Cubbies overcame the Curse of the Billy Goat to win the World Series, Chicago sports negativity is now transferred to Arizona? This franchise began as the Chicago Cardinals. The Cardinals last title was in 1947: They rival the Poland-Lithuanian Commonwealth for longest streak since winning everything.


This is something someone was paid to write. It's like Bill Simmons' idiotic karma theories fucked DTF's rambling tangents and gave us this

Hey! Bill is pretty good at rambling tangents on his own, you don't need to drag my "good" name in the mud to make your point.

Anyway, good breakdown as always.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 30 Aug 2017, 21:00

Dthefritz wrote:
The Long Dick of the Law wrote:ess bee talk about BRS reminded me of this guy!

All the Atlanta Falcons had to do was run straight ahead and they would have won the Super Bowl. Yet they got cute, and paid a price.

...

It’s not just football coaches, but leaders and nations that often fail to take simple, obvious steps.

...

The Ottoman Empire joined the Central Powers rather than remain neutral, and went out of existence as a result. (The Ottoman choice was to be left alone, or get cute and cease to exist.) There are countless similar examples.


First off, remaining neutral in World War I ensured everyone left you alone, right Belgium?

Second, they'd been the sick man of Europe for, what, at least a century by this point? Entering the war may have sped up the collapse, but they'd been declining for quite a while and declining more and more rapidly since the turn of the century.

Not to mention that one of Russia's major goals in the war was to eat Turkey for lunch, something they probably would have already done 50 years earlier had the British/French not intervened in the Crimean War. Neutrality was simply not a realistic option for them.


Russia had been trying since Napoleon's time! Dealing with him is about the only thing that kept the Ottomans from being carved up even earlier (and oh how alliances change)



Dthefritz wrote:
Is the problem that after the Cubbies overcame the Curse of the Billy Goat to win the World Series, Chicago sports negativity is now transferred to Arizona? This franchise began as the Chicago Cardinals. The Cardinals last title was in 1947: They rival the Poland-Lithuanian Commonwealth for longest streak since winning everything.


This is something someone was paid to write. It's like Bill Simmons' idiotic karma theories fucked DTF's rambling tangents and gave us this

Hey! Bill is pretty good at rambling tangents on his own, you don't need to drag my "good" name in the mud to make your point.

Anyway, good breakdown as always.

He randomly pulls Poland-Lithuania out of no where, you pull Caron Butler out of no where when we're discussing Emelia Clarke looking hotter....

Plus Poland-Lithuania is right by some Czech/Slav areas and I can play the ignorant Murrkan and conflate them all together and say you're all the same. Like Midwest Ohio and Illinois are all the same
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Dthefritz » 30 Aug 2017, 21:42

Ah yes, how alliances change. But what never changes is the Russian obsession with taking back Constantinople CUZ BYZANTINES and the desire of the rest of the world not to see this happen because we can't stand to see those cunts gloat.

And yes, I totally got where you were going with the Slav connection. Knowing that Poland is adjacent to Czechia puts you ahead of like 90% of Americans, so don't even play dat.

In my defense, I pulled out Caron Butler to make fun of Bill's contrived athlete/hot girl comparisons. But yes, I do go on tangents out of nowhere. But so do you! #whataboutism
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 30 Aug 2017, 21:57

So what if I do? I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!



And hey, the Ruskies were gonna be the third Rome (i.e. Reich) before the Nazis ever came along
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 06 Sep 2017, 08:11

ESPN goes on to foresee that the Eagles have a 19.3 percent chance to win their division while the rival Giants have a 22.6 percent chance. That’s 3.3 percent better


Actually, it's 3.3 percent greater, it's 17.1% better :geek: :geek:

And what follows is a breezy set of 21 paragraphs devoted to how super specific stats on outcomes are stupid, 15 paragraphs on the 2016 election alone. Thrilling stuff

Cleveland back from a 3-1 deficit in the 2016 NBA Finals, the Chicago Cubs back from a 3-1 deficit in the 2017 World Series, the 2016 last-shot victory of underdog Villanova over North Carolina for the men’s college basketball title, underdog Clemson’s last-second victory over Alabama for the major-college football title. Any Broadway producer knows the rule: Save the best for last. New England honored sports lore by saving the best for last.


:gay: :gay: :gay:

Just when I thought our chance had passed/you went and saved the best for last: This should have played over the stadium loudspeakers as the Super Bowl overtime concluded.


:gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay:

In addition to this contest representing a conjunction as powerful as that of Tarva and Alambil in Prince Caspian..........



:gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay:
:gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay: :gay:

y'know, not to go all heteronormative, patriarchal, toxic masculinity but this is a football column about pro football, right?

Maybe Sacks Are Overrated. This column contends that the clang of an incompletion matters more to contemporary NFL defense than sacks. Announcers extol sacks because they are dramatic, and general managers reward sack artists with bonuses. Often those selfsame sack artists don’t contain the run, or let themselves be pushed upfield, out of the play, as they sell out for sack glory. Check last season’s stats—six of the eight top teams for total sacks failed to reach the playoffs.


Oh c'mon and call them glory boys!!! And yeah, Denver, Minnesota, Arizona, Carolina, Tennessee missed the playoffs because the D was selling out for sacks and failing to contain the run (Tennessee is second, Carolina 6th, and Arizona 9th in rushing YPG allowed. Seattle and Green Bay--the two teams in top 8 sacks that made playoffs, were 7th and 8th in Rushing YPG allowed

Major-college head coaches who have moved to the NFL generally have not done well: see Chip Kelly, Steve Spurrier, and Dennis Erickson. (Pete Carroll came to the Seahawks from USC, but got his head-coaching start in the NFL, at the Jets.) College head coaches are accustomed to being treated as little gods by the local press and by boosters. They can count on great deference from the unpaid employees—excuse me, I meant to say the college students!—whose scholarship paperwork they control. NFL head coaches by contrast must deal with wealthy stars who have egos that can be tracked on radar.


Have we insulted and cast aspersions on everyone we can here? No, we left out the owners... there's still time in the column to make another blanket statement insinuating (or outright saying) how horrible everyone involved in football is.

They do this while distracting the athletes and their parents or guardians from noticing that the overwhelming majority of starters even for national title schools never receive an NFL paycheck


Randomly picked 5 years ago, 2012 BCS title game. 25 of 44 starters were selected in the NFL draft so that's a majority of them DO receive an NFL paycheck. Oh and for shits and giggles, looked at the rest of them, at least 15 signed as undrafted FAs and received NFL paychecks. so 40 of 44 starters (i.e. 91%) DID RECEIVE an NFL paycheck. Does 91% count as overwhelming majority? All 22 starters for National Champion Alabama received an NFL paycheck. The only ones who didn't were 3/5ths of LSU's O-line, and a linebacker.

I want to get paid to just make baseless claims while deriding everyone else for their pseudo-science-y claims.....

Aww hell because it's too easy, looked at the following season, 2013 BCS game. 42 of 44 received NFL paychecks!!!! Only 2 on Notre Dame did not. One had to quit because of migraines and one had back surgery his senior year and could no longer play (but was considered a good bet to get drafted, if not probably signed as a UDFA).

OVERWHELMING MAJORITY!!!

Last Christmas Day, Kansas City led Denver 27-10 with 1:52 remaining, and the Chiefs faced 3rd-and-goal at the Broncos 2. Rather than run straight ahead—or simply kneel—Andy Reid put defensive tackle Dontari Poe in at quarterback, where he faked a dive then lofted a pass into the end zone. Listed at 346 pounds and likely substantially more embonpoint, Poe may be the heaviest person ever to throw an NFL touchdown pass. Kansas City fans got a chuckle, YouTube got a highlight. But what was the point of taunting an opponent the Chiefs face twice a year?


But if New England lets Flutie do a drop kick, it's all good fun! Just letting them have a blast out there!
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby JichaelDick » 06 Sep 2017, 08:29

Not that it makes Gregggggg's bitching any less ridiculous, but I'm 99% sure the dropkick came in a game the Patriots lost...

ETA: Yup. The drop kick took place in a game New England lost 28-26 to....Nick Saban's Miami Dolphins.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 14 Sep 2017, 09:09

sigh, i'm out of practice, forgot about this chucklehead til today, well let's just jump on into this

Ah, September. The air is turning crisp. Soon leaves will show colors; the holidays are in prospect; everyone looks better in sweaters.


#crying80sSimba

Editor's Note: This is the first week of the TMQ podcast! Please listen as you enjoy this week's column.


oh... oh my.... hmmm.... do I hate listen and include... I guess we'll see how I am at the end of this.

Stats of the Week #5. The Seahawks failed to score a touchdown in four of their last 18 games.


Russell Wilson baby!

Successful goal-line combo routes are as hard to find as people who want to use Equifax to open a Wells Fargo account.


Oh we got current event jokes :roll: :roll:

Atlanta had to survive two dropped Chicago touchdown passes from the Falcons’ 5 yard line in the closing seconds, else today the sports world would be atwitter over another epic fail by the Epic Fails.


"Kids are still saying epic fail right? Man I've got my finger on the pulse here baby"

Calling Jerry Maguire. In sports-agent news, the agent for Kirk Cousins, who’s looked terrible in his last three home starts, may be ruing—really ruing!—not trying harder in the offseason to land his client a long-term deal.


Why? Yeah he sucks but he'll still get a big contract from the Niners and Shanny next year if he doesn't get tagged and if he does, he's guaranteed like $30some million next year. The Redskins offers were BS, lowball ones. Kirk, while sucking, is smart in that he wants to get out of DC.

•New England had the NFL’s best defense in 2016: The Patriots blitzed a below-average 21 percent of the time, and employed the “house” blitz a below-average 3 percent of the time.
•The Jets and Saints had the highest NFL percentage of big-blitzing, bringing the house 13 percent of the time. The result was the Jets were 28th in defense and the Saints were 31st.


I enjoy the implied causality here like the Jets and Saints Ds would have been better if they hadn't blitzed so much and that the blitzing isn't a result of shoddy D unable to generate pressure and/or DBs unable to cover receivers long/at all.

Patricia’s charges allowed only six plays of more than 40 yards, including no such plats interception e Super Bowl.


hmmm, looks like the Weekly Standard needs an editor.....

Last spring in the draft, Kansas City general manager John Dorsey conducted a king’s ransom trade for quarterback Patrick Mahomes. The deal displeased Reid, who campaigned, successfully, to get Chiefs management to jettison Dorsey.


Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

Zero reports Reid had anything to do with the dismissal. Dorsey was let go because....

The Kansas City Chiefs reportedly fired general manager John Dorsey in part because of concerns about his management and communication style.

On Sunday, Terez A. Paylor of the Kansas City Star reported team chairman Clark Hunt fired Dorsey partially because of his lackluster internal communications skills even though the Chiefs sported a 43-21 record over the last four years.

"John does stuff and doesn't tell people why," one source said. Another said Dorsey's style of management "could wear on people."

It was easy to speculate there was something of a power struggle among management after Dorsey was fired Thursday, the same day head coach Andy Reid was given a contract extension. Paylor, however, noted sources insisted the two worked well together, with one saying, "You never got the impression they were sparring."


As for Mahomes

Others in the building saw signs of decisions becoming less collaborative, and more centered on Dorsey’s instincts. It also didn’t go unnoticed that Dorsey’s draft picks, like Fisher and Duvernay-Tardif, were the ones getting paid early. And the way the Jeremy Maclin release was handled—key members of the staff didn’t know until after it became public—didn’t help squash the internal whispering.

This isn’t to say there weren’t decisions that were made with a roaring consensus from the team’s football operation. One such call was the one to pursue Texas Tech quarterback Patrick Mahomes in the draft. The Chiefs moved aggressively to make it happen.


NEVER LET THE FACTS GET IN THE WAY OF A NARRATIVE

Reader Paul Gillings of Wakefield, West Yorkshire, singles out a glaring error in last week’s column. I said the Patriots were the most recent team to make back-to-back Super Bowl appearances. As Gillings notes, the Seahawks, in 2014 versus Denver, then in 2015 versus the selfsame Flying Elvii, is correct. The error was by me, not by a WEEKLY STANDARD editor. Though, I reserve the right to blame editors for future errors.


Oh they have editors, they just suck
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby JichaelDick » 14 Sep 2017, 09:14

The second drop in the Falcons game for Chicago almost certainly would have ended up being a tackle at the one and ended the game where it stood. The Falcons DO have a bad tendency to allow late points (alluded to during the Super Bowl by Stephen White, actually), but every team catches breaks like that over a season.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 14 Sep 2017, 11:46

Haha! Thank you for this one, LDOTL! I especially enjoyed your rebuttal of his Kansas City Chiefs narrative with well-sourced and better-researched articles and information! The point about blitzing defenses was also a very good point that you made!

I would like to add that this no doubt takes a lot from you, so don't feel a need to subject yourself to the author's podcast which is more than likely a nauseating affair that would only rile the blood and dull the senses!
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby Gregs Kite » 14 Sep 2017, 12:08

JichaelDick wrote:The second drop in the Falcons game for Chicago almost certainly would have ended up being a tackle at the one and ended the game where it stood. The Falcons DO have a bad tendency to allow late points (alluded to during the Super Bowl by Stephen White, actually), but every team catches breaks like that over a season.


They sure do.
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 18 Sep 2017, 12:39

Ok, gonna try something here, listen to the podcast from last week while making some predictions of what will be in this week's TMQ... so let's do this

podcast is only 18 minutes, so shouldn't cause me to kill myself

Discussing Houston struggle and Duane Brown holdout, shockingly Greggggggggg hasn't called Brown selfish, first round glory boy, or chastised him for holding out while under contract since grrrr you honor your contract!

Railing on too many coaches on teams, wahhhh Atlanta had 28 coaches and none knew to run the ball in the Super Bowl which seems to show more there is a set chain of command and Shanahan made the calls (stupidly) and not 28 people all shouting PASS PASS PASS but whatever

Sucking off the Packers some...

Jags picked as sleeper team of the year (not looking good after that Tennessee game)

Guh, he pronounces New Orleans not "N'Awlins" or "New OR-lens" or even "New or-LEENS" but "New Or-le-ans"

gross

pretty innocuous and pointless podcast at least this (past) week

Prediction Lock of the Week:

Cincy/Marvin Lewis deflecting blame by firing OC, of course...

A "near mutiny" forced Bengals coach Marvin Lewis to fire former offensive coordinator Ken Zampese, a source reportedly told Pro Football Talk's Mike Florio.

Florio reports that multiple Bengals said "pointed things" in private to Lewis, including the normally soft-spoken A.J. Green.

Zampese was fired on Friday after the Bengals failed to score a touchdown and managed only nine points total in their first two games, both losses. On Thursday night, the Bengals had 306 yards of offense en route to being beaten 13-9 by the Texans.

Zampese was in his second season in charge of the Bengals' offense after he took over for Hue Jackson, now head coach of the Browns, before last season. The Bengals finished 13th in yards last season but 24th in points scored.


~~I look forward to him ripping Glory Boy Elliott for his effort on the INT

~~I'm sure he'll yell at the strawmen who wrote off the Patriots after one week

~~Minnesota will probably get ripped for kicking FGs but good lord Keenum sucks so can't blame them for taking points and hoping D/ST could score for them
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Re: LDOtL Presents: The Gregg Easterbrook Thread

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 18 Sep 2017, 12:46

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Guh, he pronounces New Orleans not "N'Awlins" or "New OR-lens" or even "New or-LEENS" but "New Or-le-ans"


Ha! This angers me way more than it should.


~~Minnesota will probably get ripped for kicking FGs but good lord Keenum sucks so can't blame them for taking points and hoping D/ST could score for them


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