Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

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Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby Gregs Kite » 08 Dec 2017, 11:33

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

Frank the Tank wrote:If I die I leave my red font to Kite.
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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby Jew Jitsu » 08 Dec 2017, 11:42

When he's on he's on. Fantastic
CourtesyFlush - Wed May 31, 2017 7:52 am: I stopped taking creep shots when I found out a dude who used to work on my floor got arrested for that at a walgreens in uptown charlotte.
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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 08 Dec 2017, 12:40

Jew Jitsu wrote:When he's on he's on. Fantastic

I know your joking, but I really enjoyed it. The insider info on Excel Agent Jeff Schwartz’s relationship with Bucks Coach Jason Kidd was really interesting.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby Jew Jitsu » 08 Dec 2017, 13:08

I enjoyed about 70% of it. It's similar to what he used to write ten years ago. It's really not bad
CourtesyFlush - Wed May 31, 2017 7:52 am: I stopped taking creep shots when I found out a dude who used to work on my floor got arrested for that at a walgreens in uptown charlotte.
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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 08 Dec 2017, 14:46

I do enjoy seeing Bill venture deeper and deeper into Hot Take land though. The Fultz stuff is particularly spicy.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby Dthefritz » 10 Dec 2017, 19:41

Tim “I’m Overpaid but Fun to Have Around” Hardaway Jr. (four years, $71 million)

Look at all the contracts he whines about in this article, and tell me THJ, at $18 mn per year is a horrific overpay. The dude is good. Can create off the dribble, make difficult shots, get to the rim, score in transition, and is a pretty decent passer for a 2-guard. He's a slightly below average defensive player at worst. And you'll have him from age 25-29. Call me a homer, but we live in a world where Brad Beal makes $30 mn annually. You have to evaluate contracts based on the market that exists.

Three wrinkles for FakeTradeapalooza. First, an alarming number of teams are happy with their roster (Boston, Houston, Golden State),

You mean 3 whole teams won't make any significant trades this year? What a crazy wrinkle. That never happens.

annoyingly loyal to their roster (San Antonio, Toronto)

Spurs - what? Other than Parker/Ginobili who have their spots for life, and Kawhi who's obviously untouchable, I think the Spurs would part with anybody else in about two seconds if the right deal came along.
Toronto - They're locked into the team they have. Loyalty has nothing to do with it.

paralyzed by their bizarre collection of players (Phoenix, New York)

What the fuck does this mean? Phoenix is shitty, and would probably dump any high-priced veteran they have [i.e. Tyson Chandler]. New York is a fringe playoff team that will have to figure out midseason whether they're buyers or sellers, which is not an unusual occurence at all.

stuck with their core for better or worse (Detroit, Miami, OKC), or stuck in a coma (Chicago). For Trade Machine purposes = not fun.

Again, this is not any different than any other NBA season.

Second, we’re still hampered by 2016’s Summer of WTF, when the league handled its newfound cap space boon like this. [video of Mayweather making it rain]

Actually a decent point. He could have just started here.

Image
Again, look at this list and tell me it's some kind of travesty for THJ to be paid $71 mn over 4 years.

The Inevitable DeAndre Jordan Trade
In case you missed it, the Clippers need to trade DeAndre Jordan because (a) he’s opting out of his deal next summer, (b) the Clippers are the Clippers again, (c) Doc Rivers is like The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave …


Yeah,take that Doc Rivers! Karma!!!!!

We're skipping a bunch of fake trades that don't make any sense, but he chose to run anyway. Good editing by him.

The rumor du jour? DeAndre for Parker, Henson and Brogdon. Brogdon is a solid young player who, by no fault of his own, became overrated; he’s a third guard at best.

Not counting Bucks fans, who is talking up Brogdon as anything much more than that? I've yet to hear it.

VERDICT: The Bulls play in America’s third-biggest TV market and yet they’re $15 million under the cap, not counting the $3.5 million they made for hawking Jordan Bell’s rights last summer. It’s like having the lady from Major League own an NBA team. They have exactly three decent players, their biggest star is coming off major ACL surgery and their most exciting moment of the season was when Bobby Portis broke Nikola Mirotic’s jaw. And their fans despise their front office. Other than that, everything’s great.

Weird. It's almost like they're trying to lose games on purpose. BUT TO WHAT END?????

Only one problem: DeAndre clogging the lane for Giannis Christ Superstar

Boooooo Wendy Testaburger. Booo.

You know what every NBA contender is praying the Bucks never realize? That they should be playing smallball with the Freak at center. Please God let them never realize this. (Don’t worry—their coach is Jason Kidd. They’re never realizing this.)

They should play him at all 5 positions at once! Who says no?

With that said … I’m an Okafor Truther. There’s still a place on the right team for unconventional low-post players (Okafor, Enes Kanter, Greg Monroe, etc.) with glaring weaknesses but at least one undeniable strength. When the Celtics handily beat longtime Stevens nemesis Milwaukee on Monday night, despite a 40-point performance from Giannis Christ Superstar Freak, you know what really jumped out? How much easier it is for Boston to play Milwaukee now that it doesn’t have Greg Monroe. He kills the Celtics.

The Bucks won 2 out of 7 games against the Celtics the prior two seasons. Monroe is the new Boston Strangler, really.

OK. More later, maybe.
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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby Incogneetus69 » 11 Dec 2017, 21:28

While this wasn’t one of your better outings I always enjoy the breakdowns
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Re: Bill Simmons Sports Column 12/8/2017, enjoy!

Postby Dthefritz » 11 Dec 2017, 22:06

Incogneetus69 wrote:While this wasn’t one of your better outings I always enjoy the breakdowns

TY. I def mailed this one in. Let's see if I can make any headway on the rest of this thing.

Once upon a time, OKC was my go-to joke for cheap NBA franchises.

Once upon a time, I was a complete idiot about the economics of pro sports.

Remember when it refused to give Young James Harden a four-year, $60 million extension, then traded him away four months after making the 2012 Finals?

I do! I also remember how Aubrey McClendon was in such a hole financially that he literally killed himself and tried to make it look like an accident.

The Thunder reversed course after Kevin Durant’s departure and belatedly splurged on Steven Adams (four years, $100 million) and Andre Roberson (three years, $30 million), then traded for two costly All-Star forwards (Paul George and Carmelo Anthony).

Why the change of heart?

They no longer had Durant on the books, nor Ibaka/Perkins, and the new national TV deal gave them a shitload more money to play around with.

They couldn’t lose Russell Westbrook.

Well that too. It's not the be-all, end-all.

After Durant dumped them, they encouraged Russ to chase triple-doubles, shatter usage rate records, and make a shameless MVP run even if he wasn’t making anyone else better.

Yeah, I'm sure Steven Adams doesn't benefit from playing with Westbrook at all. :roll:

Only one problem: They’re not making the Finals with this team. Not by playing three-on-five in crunch time, not with how much Anthony’s game has atrophied, and not with all the bad habits that Westbrook built up last season. Can a small-market team justify a $130.1 million payroll and an estimated $24.5 million luxury-tax bill to field a noncontender? My educated guess is … well … how should I put this? … NO FUCKING WAY.

They're a small market team with actual financial constraints? I could have sworn they let Harden walk entirely because they were evil cheapskates!

Nobody wants Carmelo or Roberson at their salaries. They can’t trade Westbrook or George. Who’s left? (Here’s a hint: He was born in New Zealand and looks a little like Bill the Butcher.)

Wow, I think that's Bill's first Gangs of New York reference ever. Must have been on cable recently. sidenote: Everything the detractors say about this movie [too long, Leo miscast, Diaz sucks] is completely true, but goddamn if every scene with DDL isn't the tits. I don't give a two-penny fuck about your moral conundrum you meat-headed shit-sack.

Meanwhile, the Mavericks have $12.5 million in cap space, multiple expiring contracts, an anti-tanking coach, and a lovable history of grabbing pricey talent bargains whenever they can.

Presumably, this man passed tenth grade English. Jeebus.

Anyone would love Adams at $10-12 million a year; $15 million is reasonable; $22 million is crazy. OKC can’t afford him. Dallas can. And OKC cannot win a title with what it has. The business-over-basketball move? Flip Adams into Noel and expirings and avoid the luxury tax.

Bill the Business Genius strikes again!

The truth is, the Zombie Sonics already won the title—they convinced Russell Westbrook to stay.

Yes, a 29 year old who relies on his athleticism with a subpar supporting cast, a declining Melo eating up a bunch of your cap room, and George possibly leaving at the end of the year. Chip material through and through.

What’s more exciting than when cap space gets swapped for FEMA-level amounts of luxury-tax relief? Anything?

Anything, actually.

If you’ve watched the Pistons—a potential conference finalist—you know that Young Stanley Johnson has made big rebounding/defense strides this year, but he’s still getting Roberson-ed by opponents in crunch time...You can’t win playoff rounds when you’re getting Roberson-ed.

OKC made the conference finals with Roberson getting big minutes. Memphis has won a number of playoff series with Tony Allen getting crunch-time minutes. The 2008 Celtics won the Finals with both Rondo and Perkins in the starting lineup.

As for Harris, he’s replaced Kyle Korver as the league’s current go-to comparison for “If he’s open from 3 it’s going right the F up” guy in your pickup basketball life.

He has not replaced Korver, who is still in the league, and who still does this, for a team that most people actually watch.

We need him in a playoff series.

No we do not. Korver will be in the playoffs. JJ Reddick will probably be in the playoffs. Doug McDermott might be in the playoffs [knock on wood]. White guys who shoot threes aren't exactly unicorns.

They didn’t love Paul George. Why? He didn’t love Indiana.

Damn, that is an A+ dog whistle right there. Credit where credit is due.

This season, nearly half of Indiana’s roster has Indiana ties; their best player went to IU; their GM was handpicked by Larry Bird; and their ancient owner is vowing that the next owner will be from Indiana.

I think I just lost a bunch of respect for Pacers fans. Sorry Jichael Bacon. Your front office thinks your stupid.

NEW YORK GETS: Chandler Parsons ($23.1m, exp. 2020) and Andrew Harrison ($1.3m)
MEMPHIS GETS: Joakim Noah ($17.8m, exp. 2020), Lance Thomas ($6.7m), and $3 million cash from Page Six

Sorry, NOBODY is trading for Noah. Not happening.

I like the thought of Page Six chipping in knowing it would make the money back on Parsons gossip. Look out, he’s coming out of 1 Oak with Rihanna!

Sounds like a guy who doesn't love Indiana. See? I think this one could have legs.

You're welcome for another mediocre effort.
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