Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

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Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 22 Sep 2017, 11:21

PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Gregs Kite » 22 Sep 2017, 12:23

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2017/9/22/16349532/week-3-nfl-picks-bill-simmons



What time on Fridays do you start refreshing to get these scoops? 9am? Earlier?

Related, when do you start therapy?
Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 22 Sep 2017, 12:30

Gregs Kite wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2017/9/22/16349532/week-3-nfl-picks-bill-simmons



What time on Fridays do you start refreshing to get these scoops? 9am? Earlier?

Related, when do you start therapy?


What?

Giants fans have no sense of humor about Eli—none, zero, zilch. It’s like teasing an uptight soccer mom about her kid getting benched.

Is that something that happens at youth soccer games? Bill is a savage.

This was a really nice column. Well-written and thought-provoking :lol:
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

"i'm relatively confident her asshole" - Farva
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby ctz31 » 22 Sep 2017, 12:45

Giants fans have no sense of humor about Eli—none, zero, zilch. It’s like teasing an uptight soccer mom about her kid getting benched.




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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Gregs Kite » 22 Sep 2017, 12:49

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:https://www.theringer.com/nfl/2017/9/22/16349532/week-3-nfl-picks-bill-simmons



What time on Fridays do you start refreshing to get these scoops? 9am? Earlier?

Related, when do you start therapy?


What?

Giants fans have no sense of humor about Eli—none, zero, zilch. It’s like teasing an uptight soccer mom about her kid getting benched.

Is that something that happens at youth soccer games? Bill is a savage.

This was a really nice column. Well-written and thought-provoking :lol:


I prefer to wait for our angriest poster to break this down when he logs on tonight. This writer really affects him.
Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 22 Sep 2017, 14:31

Elvis Andrus has 20 homers? The ball really is juiced.
Wed Sep 20, 2017 8:44 am SouthernYokel you can talk about whatever inane thing you want to if you can do it without being a dick
JT99 - Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:43 pm: Dude, the MAGA thread has already sabotaged the entire site
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 22 Sep 2017, 14:59

Renaming the sideline medical tent the Vico-Den is hilarious. Emails like that are exactly why I missed these mailbags so much.

I marked out at the "Billionaires should build their own fucking stadiums" reference.

I thought this was really good. I also love his picks this week, in probably going to make every bet he suggested.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Incogneetus69 » 22 Sep 2017, 18:06

His columns are exhausting. Drew Margarys columns are fresh and different.
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 22 Sep 2017, 18:33

Incogneetus69 wrote:His columns are exhausting. Drew Margarys columns are fresh and different.

Love the HSB reference. Need more Delhomme, tho, Bill! I figured Bill would summon him during the Eli discussion. Alas.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Theny » 23 Sep 2017, 06:55

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:Renaming the sideline medical tent the Vico-Den is hilarious. Emails like that are exactly why I missed these mailbags so much.

I marked out at the "Billionaires should build their own fucking stadiums" reference.

I thought this was really good. I also love his picks this week, in probably going to make every bet he suggested.


Brandon?
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 23 Sep 2017, 07:19

Theny wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:Renaming the sideline medical tent the Vico-Den is hilarious. Emails like that are exactly why I missed these mailbags so much.

I marked out at the "Billionaires should build their own fucking stadiums" reference.

I thought this was really good. I also love his picks this week, in probably going to make every bet he suggested.


Brandon?

Redditors
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Dthefritz » 23 Sep 2017, 11:12

Q: Being a Jets fan this year is great because …

1. Next year’s draft is rife with stud QBs.
2. The Pats and Brady look vulnerable.
3. The Giants truly suck.
4. I get to focus on gambling and daily fantasy football.

What more could I ask for?
—Marc from Madison, Wis.

Hey, a non-retarded email! We're off to a good start. I personally don't gamble or do fantasy, but Marc has the right idea here.

BS: Why couldn’t you stretch that list to 20?

Being a Jets fan this year is great because …

5. Rex Ryan has bombed as a TV guy.

I don't claim to speak for all Jets fans, but I harbor no ill will towards Ryan, who did a pretty good job coaching a talented but flawed Jets team to being a TRU contender. It sounds like Bill might be a little butthurt about the playoff loss.

6. Brandon Marshall is still infecting a New York team (it’s just the Giants).

I also don't hate Marshall. He had one really good season before falling off. It wasn't a shock at his age.

7. Mark Sanchez officially isn’t coming back to haunt you.

OOOH BUTT SLAMMED. He sucked, but the Jets cut him loose like five years ago. No one cares.

8. You can scout USC/UCLA games and have “Darnold or Rosen?” arguments.

Anybody can watch college football and debate draft prospects at any time. Again, not speaking for all Jets fans, but I will continue not to do either. Or maybe maybe, I can be a huge prick like BIll and act like I "discovered" these prospects, and annoyingly spooge all over one of them for a decade and then have him on my podcast to do an hour of PR for himself every month.

9. At least the Jets sucked on purpose this season.

Sure that's a moral victory of a kind, but that doesn't make watching them any better.

10. At least the Jets don’t have New York’s worst sports owner.
11. At least the Jets don’t have New York’s worst NFL coach.

Well, this has probably been true since Leon Hess sold the team.

12. At least the Jets don’t have an expensive 36-year-old QB who’s 30-36 in his past 66 starts.
13. Eli Manning has more losses since 2013 than anyone other than Philip Rivers.

Oh boy, here we go.

18. You can make fun of any Giants fan about reasons 11 through 17. At least Jets fans have a sense of humor. Giants fans have no sense of humor about Eli—none, zero, zilch. It’s like teasing an uptight soccer mom about her kid getting benched.

As somebody who has the pleasure of interacting with Giants fans on a regular basis, I can tell you this is 100% untrue. They complain about Eli all the time and are fully aware that he isn't all that good now, and that he has only intermittently been good in the past. The only reason they would get pissy about this subject is if a Patriots fan like BIll whines about Eli Manning's regular season stats in 2017 as if that negates the two Superb Owls the Giants won and demand that the fans renounce those chips in the eyes of man and god. As the great Javale McGee once said, go kick rocks you old bastard.

Q: I listened to the ENTIRE PODCAST where you ranked the Patriots’ top 25 wins in the Belichick era. It honestly felt like you both slowly unzipped your pants and ejaculated all over me for nearly two hours. I was born in September 1987 on Long Island, and am bearing down hard on my 30th birthday. I am a die-hard Jets, Mets, Knicks, and Islanders fan, and the true sports highlights of my life are as follows:

Oh you mean those teams have all been a huge disappointment? Why hasn't the media been covering this? WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN???

https://twitter.com/alexfan590/status/910710305851928577

This was actually a decent video, one that at least I hadn't seen. Good job by you, Bill.

Q: Eli is the MOST overrated “Hall of Fame” quarterback ever! He is two Hail Marys away from being Kerry Collins.
—James Britt, West Linn, Ore.

Or you know, maybe his size, mobility in the pocket and ability to throw downfield allowed him to throw those Hail Mary's, which is why QB's like him and Flacco, who are not among the great QB"s in history can occasionally win Super Bowls because of their ability to make big plays. Blackguypointingathishead.gif

I’ve been writing mailbags for 40 years! FORTY! I CAN DO THESE IN MY SLEEP!

Oh, the ironing is delicious.

Q: Can we call the sideline injury tent the “Vico-Den”?
—Michael Edge

Dude, Brett Favre's painkiller addiction saga was over two decades ago. I don't see why we're giggling like schoolgirls over the idea that NFL players are using these newfangled science thingies to make their ouchies go away.

Q: Any football fan saw the news that Aaron Hernandez had advanced CTE. Now what?? Was he a bad person? Probably. Was he a worse person because of CTE?? Maybe. How long before any NFL player who gets in legal troubles hints at the fact that he too might be suffering from CTE?? What if they are right?? Can I tell the difference between an asshole and a person with serious head trauma??
—Tim, Pennsylvania

BS: Haven’t we been circling this issue with the likes of Chris Benoit and O.J. Simpson for years?

He goes on to ramble about OJ for like three paragraphs. I know this isn't unique to BIll, but seriously fuck everybody out there still caring and blabbering on about this person and his murder trial and what it meant for this country and ZOMG ISN"T FAME A CRAZUY THING??????? Go away.

Q: After two horrid weeks, how close do you think the Seahawks are to becoming this year’s “Nobody Believes in Us” team?
—Scott

BS: Isn’t that every September with them at this point? I’m going the other way—I think all 32 teams are the “Nobody Believes in Us” team.

Let me take my own dumbass theory and turn it inside out to the point that it's somehow even more meaningless! Papa Klosterman would be proud.

Q: After we found out that KD has multiple Twitter accounts, I have to ask: Are you real? Or are you really KD disguised as a 47-year-old sportswriter from Boston? If you are KD, then why didn’t you go to Boston last summer?
—Matt, Cleveland

BS: Too soon. Too soon.

Noice.

Q: Thank you for bringing weird ’80s videos back to the public consciousness.

America's most popular sportswriter, folks!

Q: If you’re the Jaguars, how much would you give up for Garoppolo and his handsomeness? Their defense is insane and Bortles is insanely bad. Is it worth it to get Jimmy, or should they wait for this draft?
—Thomas, N.Y.

BS: Sorry, the Patriots aren’t trading Handsome Jimmy. You know who’s not getting tricked by the TB12 diet, avocado ice cream and 200 ounces of water per day? Bill Belichick. He knows 40-year-old quarterbacks are like that half-and-half carton in your fridge that improbably stays fresh after its expiration date

I am in awe of that genius Belichick, what with him realizing a 40 year old man who plays sports might not continue to play sports forever.

Q: Why has no one talked about how Ben McAdoo looks like he wants to throw the red flag on [REMOVED BY EDITORS]?
—Jake Boyle

BS: Kudos to Jake for (a) crossing every line in the email and (b) making me laugh out loud anyway. Fortunately, it’s Ben McAdoo and you can throw anything in the brackets—literally, anything—and the joke still works.
[/quote]
Good thing Bill got away from those Stalin-like censors at ESPN so he could finally be as funny as possible.

All right. I might finish this later but probably not. Happy weekend, everyone.
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby TheWolf » 23 Sep 2017, 15:10

You probably interact with more Giants fans than I do, but the ones I know are completely fucking delusional about Eli. I thought Bill was spot-on with that point. :beatsme:
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Dthefritz » 23 Sep 2017, 15:34

TheWolf wrote:You probably interact with more Giants fans than I do, but the ones I know are completely fucking delusional about Eli. I thought Bill was spot-on with that point. :beatsme:

Do those people exist? Sure. Will Giants fans generally overrate him and defend him overzealously? Sure. I still think Bill is way overstating the case. In my experience, when pressed on the point, they will eventually admit that Eli is a flawed doofus, but he's THEIR flawed doofus who led us them to two super bowl victories, and point out the team around him isn't what it used to be. As for them not having a sense of humor? I've showed multiple Giants fans this video, most found it funny and none got pissy or defensive about it.

Again, I think they're more inclined to be defensive when dickheaded Patriots fans are trying to tell them that they didn't deserve those two rings and whining about how lucky he is.
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Re: Ballbag Bill does a Mailbag 9.22.17

Postby Gregs Kite » 23 Sep 2017, 16:02

He deserved both rings.

He was lucky to win both rings.

Doesn't have to be all or nothing. Weird, huh?
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Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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