HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

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HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 15 Sep 2017, 10:43

PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby Briandong79 » 15 Sep 2017, 10:58

The Jay Tando stuff made me laugh for some reason. I might be drunk.
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby JT99 » 15 Sep 2017, 11:03

Briandong79 wrote:The Jay Tando stuff made me laugh for some reason. I might be drunk.


Bu it's Friday and you are at work in appropriate attire and had to get out of bed this morning
BigJohnStudd wrote:The original Annie movie from the 80s has a lot of panty shots for a PG rated kids film.


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 15 Sep 2017, 11:17

LD: are you planning on joining celebrity chef David Chang's boycott of the Redskins?
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 15 Sep 2017, 11:23

Dr Jeckyll wrote:LD: are you planning on joining celebrity chef David Chang's boycott of the Redskins?

What is his reason for his boycott?
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 15 Sep 2017, 11:27

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:LD: are you planning on joining celebrity chef David Chang's boycott of the Redskins?

What is his reason for his boycott?


not sure, maybe the stadium food isn't up to snuff :?
Gregs Kite - Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:55 pm: I hate DJ and his stupid face and hes so stupid and I want to punch him
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 15 Sep 2017, 11:33

Nearly three years ago, I watched a Packers-Cardinals playoff game with him at Jimmy Kimmel's house and Romo did the exact same thing - I've owned gobs of Romo announcer stock ever since.


this fucking guy
Wed Sep 20, 2017 8:44 am SouthernYokel you can talk about whatever inane thing you want to if you can do it without being a dick
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 15 Sep 2017, 11:34

Dr Jeckyll wrote:
The Long Dick of the Law wrote:
Dr Jeckyll wrote:LD: are you planning on joining celebrity chef David Chang's boycott of the Redskins?

What is his reason for his boycott?


not sure, maybe the stadium food isn't up to snuff :?

If it's a "the owner's a fuckstick chucklehead moron douche who's ruined the franchise and can't get out of his own way and continually hires yes men who fire the only actual personnel guy they've had because waaaaah he got the credit and not yes man and chucklehead fuckstick owner waahhhhh and oh by the way, worst stadium experience in the NFL that nickels and dimes everywhere it can, corporate sponsors on every single inch, takes hours to get in, hours to get out, stadium sucks balls, and even if they more to a new stadium it won't matter because the owner is a moron douche chucklehead fucktard stickbitch asshat who will ruin it and continue to hold the franchise back" then yeah, I'm all in on that, I'm done with the team til Snyder no longer owns which will be when he dies so in another, what, 40 years? 50? fuck me.

If it's a boycott because, "wahhh the naaaaaaame" then fuck that
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby ctz31 » 15 Sep 2017, 11:51

We know he’d probably love to win one Super Bowl without Tom Brady


Image

I've only been saying this for 6 years. Quit stealing my shit bill.
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby Dthefritz » 15 Sep 2017, 12:10

Q: A Captain Morgan Make Believe Casino River Boat Prop Bet for you: who goes longer, Belichick or LeBron?
—Bryson, Texas

A lot hangs in the balance here folks! I guess congrats to Bill for not saying anything offensively stupid in his response.

Q: How long before the NFL starts selling ad space on those sideline injury tents? Is there a leading horse tranquilizer in the market that should get first dibs? Is Adderall a too obvious sponsor? Or is this a chance for the German blood spinning clinic to get into the American advertising game?
—Alec, Greenville, N.C.

You mean to tell me football players put crazy and sometimes illegal things in their bodies to get an edge? Why isn't this a bigger story????????

Q: I've been thinking this for the past few years and Sunday really just hammered it home. I'm tired of wasting a day of my life each week to watch boring or one-sided games. Watching the Green Bay and Dallas games was about as much fun as talking to Neil McCauley about metals for six hours.
—Tim Kozlenko

Tim, fortunately I am here for some life coaching. If you are bored watching a sporting event on television, turn it off and go do something else. It's like that time in School Ties when zzzzzzzzzzzz

Maybe a 4 out of 10. This will all seem stupid when they finally figure out the right dosage for Gronk’s pain medication, Rob Ninkovich comes out of retirement, Alex Guerrero creates the deer placenta smoothie for Brady

Are you crazy? Tom Brady would never do something so trashy and Peyton-ish as to do something that everybody else in the NFL including Tom Brady does. DELET THIS.

Q: Does it bother you that ESPN suspended you for three weeks for calling Goodell a liar, but they didn’t suspend Jemele Hill for calling Trump a white supremacist?
—Andy Levine, Chicago

Let's make the Jemele Hill scandal all about Bill! You've found the magic formula for getting into the mailbag, Andy. Guard it like the recipe for coke.

She knew ESPN couldn’t punish her for speaking candidly, as a black woman, about a president whose pattern of behavior toward women and minorities speaks for itself.

Please. As we all know from reading this very website, neither Donald Trump nor any of his supporters have ever done or said anything racist, and anybody suggesting otherwise are themselves the real racists.

She used her platform and it worked. Now, she has a higher profile than she did three days ago. She seems more fearless and genuine than she did three days ago.

How fearless and genuine to advance her career like that.

And she flipped her relationship with ESPN—now, the company needs Jemele Hill more than she needs the company.

OK, now it's even more obvious that Bill is really talking about himself. ESPN does not need anybody more than the company needs them, and you are the living proof of that.

Q: Thank you for so many things, but I'm truly grateful for seeing the "Don't Give Up" video with Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush. I can't even begin to argue against that as being in the top 5 strangest videos of the ’80s. I'm curious, what other four make that list complete?
—Kevin Claunch, Grand Rapids, Mich.

Please tell us more about the 1980's and how different it was from today. There isn't enough of that going around.

Q: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" better be on your list of the five weirdest 1980s videos. I mean just look at this shit. Poltergeist kids, hairy caveman splits, and fuckin' ninjas.
—Harry, Larryville, Kan.

Bro, there was some weird stuff on TV to try to get people's attention! That kinda stuff never happens anymore.

BS: And there’s the one for Week 2. It’s a batshit crazy video for a batshit crazy song that easily could have been the theme for Fatal Attraction. Some lyric highlights

Yes, that's right. Bill does an in-depth lyrical breakdown of the song that is obviously about a woman losing it over some guy, is in fact about a woman losing it over some guy. Nothing gets past Mr. Pop Culture Detective! Next he will show you the real meaning behind Hit 'em Up!

Q: You've cornered the market on hiring millennials. Even Gen Z. They line up down Fairfax every morning wanting to buy the newest Jordans where the biggest mystery is how a 16-year-old kid can afford a $300 pair of shoes. Of course they love basketball. It's their version of gambling and fantasy.
—Derek L

What

Q: If Adam Silver and Roger Goodell switched places, what happens? Does Silver rescue the NFL and turn it around? Does Goodell veto the Kyrie trade and demand that all teams play in back-to-backs every weekend to increase revenue?
—Bill S, Indianapolis

Nothing would change, because the commissioner is ultimately answerable only to the owners. Is that what Bill says? I'll leave it to your imaginations.

Q: To Mrs. Durant,

After reading your Friday picks column, I'm convinced you're going to go 491-1 on your picks this year. I'm going to put my life savings into every single one of your picks. Why? You care maybe 30 percent about the league as it stands today. You're at your best when you don't care. All those seasons where you invested way too much time and energy in figuring out your picks? You struggled. Do yourself a favor. Bet on all of your picks this year. If you don't you'll remember this email and it will be the greatest what-if of your life.
—Kevin Soh

BS: Mrs. Durant? DEFINITELY an insult. That cut deep.

Ha, kudos to him for running this e-mail. He's right. Bill's magical powers of gambling analysis were so bad that he underperformed a coin flip over years of data. IDK if his picks will be any good, but the underlying point is totally correct.

Q: My friends and I have a running debate about which actor had the best three-movie stretch. One rule: has to be three consecutive acting entries on their IMDb page. This rules out many including Tom Hanks because of Vault of Horror (really he was in that?) sandwiched between Apollo 13 and Gump. Our winner always comes back to Nic Cage. The Rock, Con Air, and Face/Off? I challenge you to find a better three-movie stretch on IMDb.
—Chris Chiu

I will definitely be bouncing my grandkids on my lap, telling them about where I was when Face/Off came out. His fans are the fucking worst.

I guess, I should acknowledge Bill for stumbling on a good answer with John Cazale after some more Tom Cruise/Sly Stallone jerking. The 80's, bruh!

Nearly three years ago, I watched a Packers-Cardinals playoff game with him at Jimmy Kimmel’s house and Romo did the exact same thing—I’ve owned gobs of Romo announcer stock ever since.

Jimmy Kimmel + I knew x before you but didn't tell you until now + caring way too much about announcers. Might be his magnum opus really.

I am not going to dignify any of his football analysis, but I'm sure it sucks. Have at it boys.
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 15 Sep 2017, 12:38

Harrison Ford went Empire, Raiders, Blade Runner, ROTJ, Temple of Doom, 5 in a row
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby ctz31 » 15 Sep 2017, 12:41

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Harrison Ford went Empire, Raiders, Blade Runner, ROTJ, Temple of Doom, 5 in a row


Agree. That is definitely the worse 5 movie run i've ever seen.
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby Briandong79 » 15 Sep 2017, 12:45

The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Harrison Ford went Empire, Raiders, Blade Runner, ROTJ, Temple of Doom, 5 in a row


And then Witness, give him 6. It had Kelly McGillis's tits in it.

ETA: Cazale is the answer though.
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby mj3528 » 15 Sep 2017, 12:51

Briandong79 wrote:
The Long Dick of the Law wrote:Harrison Ford went Empire, Raiders, Blade Runner, ROTJ, Temple of Doom, 5 in a row


And then Witness, give him 6. It had Kelly McGillis's tits in it.

ETA: Cazale is the answer though.


For 3 in a row, for pure entertainment value I have always liked the stretch of untouchables, bull durham and field of dreams for Kevin Costner.

Cazale may be right, but in the Godfather movies he plays a smaller, yet vital and entertaining role. That is a little different than carrying the movie.
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Re: HBO's Most Hated Employee Writes A Mailbag

Postby Incogneetus69 » 15 Sep 2017, 12:53

The structure of his new picks column is stupid. Readers want the classic bolded team names with a pick for every game. So theyre always guaranteed to read about their team. This new format just becomes a hodge podge of anti NFL thoughts and random bets.

" The quality difference of Rounders and hoop dreams is directionally proportional to the likelihood of "IT" scarring my son for life. And with that the pick is packers minus 3. "


This was one of the self serviciest columns he's written. How many weeks do I want to read a football column by a guy who hates football? Bleh
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