Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Discuss the columns here!

Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 17 Mar 2017, 12:11

PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

"i'm relatively confident her asshole" - Farva
User avatar
Slave to Uber
Posts: 31769
Joined: 26 Aug 2005, 09:59

Re: Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby Rufus » 17 Mar 2017, 15:32

If I have to read him bitch about the Lakers' good fortune one more time when literally everything his team has done in my lifetime is a result of McHale giving Boston KG for well below his value...
Wiffle Ball King
Posts: 86
Joined: 22 May 2009, 03:30

Re: Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby JichaelDick » 17 Mar 2017, 22:00

The best part was Simpson telling everyone how the KG trade was fair and legit and the T-Wolves would be happy with it, and Memphis was just awful for handing Pau to LA for some picks, scrubs, and Marc Gasol.

FTR, the cap room the Grizzlies got for that trade netted them one Zach Randolph.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
User avatar
Delightful Nutjob
Posts: 26682
Joined: 21 Dec 2005, 13:56
Location: Salivating

Re: Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby Dthefritz » 18 Mar 2017, 11:18

The Ringer’s college basketball savant, Mark Titus, wishes fans would watch March Madness because they enjoy basketball, and not also because they’re trying to project the next 12 years of someone’s professional career.

Shocking that a college player who had zero hope of ever making the NBA would think that.

That sounds noble and awesome.
I just can’t get there.

You don't have to make a big production of you not liking college ball. You grew up right near an NBA team and didn't go to a basketball powerhouse school. It's not rocket science.

It’s the unknown that gets me. After watching the tourney for 40 years, I still can’t figure out, definitively, how it translates to failure or success in the pros.

Nobody on earth has figured that out, definitively, including much smarter and more experienced people than you. This is like saying "I haven't figured out how to spin straw into gold. We might as well abandon plant cultivation as a species."

March Madness made me believe in the NBA futures of Stephen Curry, Glen Rice, Kemba Walker, and James Worthy; it also made me believe in Bo Kimble, Miles Simon, Shabazz Napier, and Jack Givens.

You mean some players who are good in college go on to succeed in the NBA and some don't? Whoa. WHOA. Please use this to drive some worthless narrative so I can process the bombshell of insight you just dropped in our laps.

This year’s tournament brings unusual allure: It features the decade’s most loaded draft class

Remember how I just said it's impossible to completely predict future stardom for guys in college? THROW THAT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW THESE PROSPECTS ARE UNASSAILABLE.

it’s feeding our most action-packed NBA lottery in 10 years.

I don't know, I thought the one where you threw a hissy fit on air after the Celtics didn't win it was pretty action-packed.

We need Chris Harrison opening every envelope?—?this might be the most dramatic lottery ever.

The lottery has roughly the same amount of drama most years, and the level of this drama is proportional to the involvement of your favorite team.

Available in June: two possible franchise guards (Fultz and Lonzo Ball, UCLA’s wondrous playmaker, who has pieces of Young Kidd, Young Pistol Pete and even Young Magic)

So a skilled passer and ballhandler who has a chance of being really good. First time I can remember.

but also you might get the next Danny Granger (Jayson Tatum)

A forward who can score? Rarer than Haley's Comet, I tell you.

the next poorish man’s Paul George (Josh Jackson)

A guy who will be almost-ish good enough to make an all-NBA 3rd team someday if he achieves his potential? The drama of this lottery is coarsing through my soul like you wouldn't believe.

the next Steve Francis (Dennis Smith Jr., and I mean that in a good way)

He's good, but I just couldn't think of a good player to compare him to. Just trust me on this one.

an all-caps FREAK shooter (Malik Monk)

Can I trade my Salim Stoudamire rookie cards for him?

a freak athlete point guard (De’Aaron Fox)

Can I trade my Marcus Banks rookie cards for him?

a slightly Dirk-ish stretch 5 (Lauri Markkanen)

A tall guy from Europe who can shoot? Those guys NEVER appear in the draft.
the next Euro stud who might be awesome (France’s Frank Ntilikina)

He's from another country, he's awesome and he might be awesome! That's all I needed to hear, really.

and the rich man’s Brandon Ingram (Jonathan Isaac)

A guy who's never played in the NBA might be better than a guy who's played most of one season and is considered a work in progress. Black swan!

With the TENTH pick, you might get someone as good as last year’s second pick. Now that’s a great draft.

Look, I don't know jack shit about college ball. I hear it's supposed to be a strong year. But you could literally do this exercise for any draft ever.

You know what else comes with great drafts? [youtube video of Pain].

What an incredible writing talent. HE COULD BE THE NEXT HUNTER S THOMPSON.

May’s lottery will be loaded with an unusual number of painful variables and what-ifs

I doubt it.

which harkens to the memories of our most painful lottery ever: when the 2003 Grizzlies vaulted into the top three of the LeBron Lottery, then ESPN went into commercial with Memphis fans knowing they had a legitimate chance to land LeBron, then the Grizzlies came in second … and lost their top-one protected pick to Detroit. There’s never been a crueler lottery moment.

Good point by him. Inovking that memory doesn't prove anything about this year's lottery, however.

And it’s on YouTube!

Cool, thanks for the link! [/unsarastically, useful youtube link for once].

An impromptu running diary …

Why? Why would you do a "running diary" when the clip is right there on youtube for everyone to see? For something that happened FOURTEEN FUCKING YEARS AGO? People are too stupid to watch the fucking lottery and figure out what happened for themselves? Jesus.

0:03?—?“Look, it’s LeBron James and his posse!” says Phil Jackson.

That's a timely reference! I'm skipping most of this. Too pointless even for me.

The 2003–04 Grizzlies had Pau Gasol, Jason Williams (the White Chocolate one, not ESPN Jay or Chauffeur Jayson), Shane Battier, James Posey, Mike Miller, Stro Swift, Lorenzen Wright, Bo Outlaw, and Earl Watson and went 50–32 WITHOUT Rookie LeBron. He put up 21–6–6 with 42/29/75 splits on a putrid ’04 Cavs team. Stick him with better teammates, lessen his workload, surround him with shooters, make him more of a creator and what happens?

This guy literally gets paid millions of dollars to write the equivalent of the dregs of NBA reddit. DAE LeBron would win more games with better teammates??????

0:57?—?“The first pick of the 2003 NBA draft goes to … the Cleveland Cavaliers.” Right at that moment, what kind of odds could you have gotten that the same sentence would be uttered three more times over the next 10 years. Like 5 million–to-1?
There was buzz about LeBron going to NY/LA/Chicago because of a secret clause in his shoe contract before he even played a game. Shaq had jumped to the Lakers just 7 years earlier, after having been the #1 pick. It wasn't some twighlight zone scenario.

Maybe 2017 won’t offer that level of life-altering agony

Oh you don't say! So all that was literally for nothing. Thanks a lot.
User avatar
Posts: 8051
Joined: 30 Nov 2006, 01:35
Location: In the green, never in between

Re: Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby Briandong79 » 20 Mar 2017, 07:59

I'm not sure I can accept you disparaging Holy Cross like that. They produced Cousy!!!
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
User avatar
Beep Boop
Posts: 31604
Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 13:35
Location: MoreCowbell's phone

Re: Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby babylurch » 20 Mar 2017, 08:00

And Tommy Heinsohn.
2013 Jason McElwaine Regional Champion
User avatar
Basketball Jesus
Posts: 4582
Joined: 11 May 2006, 16:07
Location: 2013 Jason McElwaine Regional Champion

Re: Dickface Talks Lottery 3/17/17

Postby Dthefritz » 20 Mar 2017, 17:34

Be that as it may, Bill requires a legit contention scenario every 2.5 years to remain interested in a sports team, and Cousy and Heinsohn have not walked through that door for longer than that.
User avatar
Posts: 8051
Joined: 30 Nov 2006, 01:35
Location: In the green, never in between

Return to Stop Clicking Refresh

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest