Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Discuss the columns here!

Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Briandong79 » 17 Feb 2017, 11:58

Something for everyone to hate on before the weekend:
https://theringer.com/the-trade-deadlin ... .y074hmmx8
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
User avatar
Briandong79
Beep Boop
 
Posts: 30144
Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 13:35
Location: MoreCowbell's phone

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby JT99 » 17 Feb 2017, 12:01

Briandong79 wrote:Something for everyone to hate on before the weekend:
https://theringer.com/the-trade-deadlin ... .y074hmmx8



...Picasso of the Trade Machine.


Damn, almost out at the HEADER.

ETA: stopped early on the third question.
Last edited by JT99 on 17 Feb 2017, 12:07, edited 1 time in total.
BigJohnStudd wrote:The original Annie movie from the 80s has a lot of panty shots for a PG rated kids film.


BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
User avatar
JT99
Between Bannings
 
Posts: 9092
Joined: 08 Apr 2012, 22:58
Location: Bluesville

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby JichaelDick » 17 Feb 2017, 12:04

Picasso wasn't even that great an artist. Goya, Velasquez, El Greco all much better Spanish artists.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
User avatar
JichaelDick
Delightful Nutjob
 
Posts: 25350
Joined: 21 Dec 2005, 13:56
Location: Dang ol' Arlen, Texas, man

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Theny » 17 Feb 2017, 12:11

JichaelDick wrote:Picasso wasn't even that great an artist. Goya, Velasquez, El Greco all much better Spanish artists.


You're gonna have to roll out some advanced stats to back up such a claim.
User avatar
Theny
Anchor Baby Daddy
 
Posts: 30146
Joined: 10 Jun 2005, 10:55

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 17 Feb 2017, 12:17

Where would you put Jokic in the Freak-Porzingis-Embiid discussion?


I made it this far.

Image

ETA:
BS: You left out that Jokic is averaging a 22–11–5 since New Year’s Day


26-12-3 since New Year's.

Image
Last edited by MisterTambourineMan on 17 Feb 2017, 12:30, edited 1 time in total.
TheWolf - Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:02 pm: BREAKING: wolfette did not come home to blow me
Briandong79 - Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:02 pm: 31, you're up.
User avatar
MisterTambourineMan
Now
 
Posts: 11858
Joined: 03 Sep 2006, 14:25
Location: i already told you, won't tell you again

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Briandong79 » 17 Feb 2017, 12:26

The last question seems to imply that the person thinks about Simmons' podcast with Kevin Durant to make himself cum. Even I didn't think it was that good.
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
User avatar
Briandong79
Beep Boop
 
Posts: 30144
Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 13:35
Location: MoreCowbell's phone

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby JichaelDick » 17 Feb 2017, 12:29

Theny wrote:
JichaelDick wrote:Picasso wasn't even that great an artist. Goya, Velasquez, El Greco all much better Spanish artists.


You're gonna have to roll out some advanced stats to back up such a claim.


Goya

Image

Velazquez
Image

El Greco
Image

Picasso
Image
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
User avatar
JichaelDick
Delightful Nutjob
 
Posts: 25350
Joined: 21 Dec 2005, 13:56
Location: Dang ol' Arlen, Texas, man

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby chrisco » 17 Feb 2017, 12:31

GUERNICA REQUIRES A TRIGGER WARNING!!!
BostonSucksMyBalls - Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:03 am: I listen bc ive listened for about 25 years. I need to see this stupid thing thru.
User avatar
chrisco
Madoff
 
Posts: 11371
Joined: 15 Mar 2007, 17:31

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Gregs Kite » 17 Feb 2017, 12:32

Q: So Bill, are you done jerking yourself off with all of these “Boston-only” mailbags yet? Let me know when you are, and I may start reading them again.
— Justin McCormack


Cats!
You fuckers ruined kite.

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

Frank the Tank wrote:If I die I leave my red font to Kite.
User avatar
Gregs Kite
Friend of Friends
 
Posts: 21690
Joined: 20 Jan 2007, 15:59
Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Goose » 17 Feb 2017, 13:23

Gregs Kite wrote:
Q: So Bill, are you done jerking yourself off with all of these “Boston-only” mailbags yet? Let me know when you are, and I may start reading them again.
— Justin McCormack


Cats!


I thought everybody loved all things Boston all the time. :beatsme:
Hall of Sand, Class of 2025
Balls: I know a guy who came home after high school one day to over hear his mom and dad having a 3some with another lady. He actually went to beat off during it in his room.
mister bacon: Wow no wonder PJ is so fucked up.
User avatar
Goose
Smartest Guy In The Room
 
Posts: 3149
Joined: 03 May 2006, 10:09
Location: Temple Terrace Hooters, waiting on Shamgod

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby The Long Dick of the Law » 17 Feb 2017, 14:02

#5's face in Velazquez should come with a warning, guh
mister bacon love watching soccer. baseball is about as exciting as scratching my balls.
MisterTambourineMan you're not scratching your balls right, then.
User avatar
The Long Dick of the Law
TRU Patriot
 
Posts: 11505
Joined: 22 Oct 2007, 13:09
Location: Virginia

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 17 Feb 2017, 14:07

Q: What rule change would you most like to see made in the NBA? I agree with something that Haralabob mentioned — let’s get rid of the charge completely. It’s dangerous and unnecessary. Why would we intentionally stop the freaky athletes (LeBron, Westbrook, Giannis, etc.) from getting dunks and making plays at the rim?
— Lior, Toronto

BS: Less timeouts. WAY LESS TIMEOUTS. I’d dump the TV timeouts at the 10-minute marks of the second and fourth quarters, make 20-second timeouts run for 20 seconds (instead of 90), make it illegal to call a timeout coming out of a timeout and dump one extra timeout for each team. We could shave 12–15 minutes off of every NBA game and put that extra time toward more interminably long replay reviews.


As it stands, games are 2 hours and 10 minutes now. No need to shorten them. Asshole.

Q: When do you think Seattle will get an NBA team back?
— Matt Veleski

BS: Within the next four years. Expansion team. For $2.1 billion minimum (so every NBA owner pockets a $30 million check right away), with a caveat that the new franchise can’t participate in the current media deal for at least two to three years after the launch.


I love when he throws in shit like this as a way to show us that he's insider-adjacent. Asshole.

Great column though. I found it rich and compelling.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

"i'm relatively confident her asshole" - Farva
User avatar
BostonSucksMyBalls
Work Creep
 
Posts: 29966
Joined: 26 Aug 2005, 09:59

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Dthefritz » 17 Feb 2017, 19:11

His answer to the Jokic e-mail literally has 9 completely pointless rhetorical questions that all boil down to "he's young and might improve, and his team might improve too, and that would be neat". Try to be a worse fucking writer, why don't you.

He also doesn't mention Jokic's horrible defense, this coming from the guy who once wrote:
You can't win an NBA title anymore with a defensive liability up front. You just can't.


So we're off to a good start!

I left out Toronto (they just made their trade), San Antonio (they never make deadline trades) and Cleveland (screw those guys, I’m not helping them).

How cruel of you, denying your oh so valuable help! I'm sure Cleveland's front office was on the edge of their seat waiting to read and then immediately implement Bill's genius trade that would no doubt secure their 2nd and quite probably their 3rd through 8th NBA titles. And people tell me he's not a thundering jackass.

Atlanta trades Tiago Splitter’s expiring and a 2025 second-round pick to Chicago for Rajon Rondo and the Rondo-Dwight alliance we’ve always wanted.

Nobody other than nostalgic Celtics fans want to see Rondo do much of anything other than go away. He is a backup and perennial DNP threat on a mediocre team, not to mention a huge pain in the ass. Atlanta already has a better version of Rondo on their roster (Dennis Schroder). This is dumb.

Boston trades the Amir Johnson, Tyler Zeller and Jonas Jerebko expirings plus Boston’s 2018 first-rounder, Minnesota’s 2017 second-round pick and the rights to Guerschon Yabusele (French Draymond!) to Denver for Danilo Gallinari’s expiring and Kenneth Faried.

How about we trade a team that's trying to win a shit sandwich for two useful and good players? Who could possibly say no?

Charlotte trades Nic Batum and Cody Zeller to Detroit for Andre Drummond, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope’s expiring and Darrun Hilliard in the classic “We Both Hate Our Teams, Let’s Shake It Up” semiblockbuster.

There is zero reason for Detroit to do this trade other than to entertain general NBA fans by shaking things up for no good reason.

Chicago trades Jimmy Butler and Michael Carter-Williams’s expiring to Portland for Damian Lillard. (WHO SAYS NO???)

Portland says no.

Dallas trades the Deron Williams and Andrew Bogut expirings to New York for Derrick Rose’s expiring (and New York immediately buys out Bogut to save some cash for the inevitable Charles Oakley civil suit).

And then once New York does a trade it has no reason to do whatsoever, and buys out that guy my team has been trying to trade for, my team can sign him without giving up any assets!

Golden State trades Patrick McCaw, Kevon Looney, and Zaza Pachulia’s expiring to New York for Kyle “I’m Dying to Come Off the Bench for a Contender” O’Quinn.

You would think from this sentence that he is Ray Bourque or something, cosmically owed a mercy trade to a contender at the end of a long and distinguished career. Dude is 26 and a career backup. Why do the Knicks owe him a bad trade so he can win a title in Golden State?

Houston trades K.J. McDaniels, Corey Brewer, and its 2017 first-round pick to Brooklyn for Bojan Bogdanovic and a $7.6 million trade exception.

Who the hell is KJ McDaniels, non-NBA diehards might ask? Bill will tell you:
McDaniels kinda sorta maybe reminds me a little bit in a roundabout way of SCOTTIE FUCKING PIPPEN.

Me too man! Totally can see it.

Unfortunately, the L.A. Clippers can’t make deadline-day trades because of Doc’s poor cellphone reception on the Bel-Air Country Club’s golf course.

This guy still can't get over Doc Rivers SONNING Him on national tv. Grow up, dude.

The Lakers trade Timofey Mozgov and Luol Deng to — MY GOD, THEY MAKE $136 MILLION FOR THIS YEAR AND THE NEXT THREE MY BRAIN IS BLEEDING.

Yeah, it's ridiculous that they make millions of dollars to put a ball through a hoop. Everyone who follows sports has gotten over this a long time ago.

Memphis trades Vince Carter to ESPN for Tracy McGrady, a warehouse full of Grantland Quarterlies and cash.

Fuck every single thing about that sentence. That's all for now.
User avatar
Dthefritz
tl;dr
 
Posts: 6827
Joined: 30 Nov 2006, 01:35
Location: In the green, never in between

Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby Briandong79 » 17 Feb 2017, 21:10

Wait, you really think Lillard is better than Butler?
PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
User avatar
Briandong79
Beep Boop
 
Posts: 30144
Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 13:35
Location: MoreCowbell's phone

Re: Trade Deadline Mailbag 2/17/17

Postby mj3528 » 17 Feb 2017, 21:32

Briandong79 wrote:Wait, you really think Lillard is better than Butler?

Thanks dong. I was going to say the same thing, but I peed myself a little bit just thinking about entering the prison yard
2009 NFL Pick 'em Champion
SOTSG Fantasy Basketball (Almost Entirely) 2012 Champion
2015 SOTSG NFL Survivor Champion, Part 2
2015 SOTSG Death Pool Co-Champion
2017 SOTSG Fantasy Basketball Champion
User avatar
mj3528
Never Forgotten
 
Posts: 8637
Joined: 05 Mar 2008, 18:41

Next

Return to Stop Clicking Refresh

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron