Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

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Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 13 Jan 2017, 12:46

PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby mj3528 » 13 Jan 2017, 12:48

This is douchey, right:

Bill SimmonsCEO, The Ringer - follow at @ringer or www.theringer.com
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby chrisco » 13 Jan 2017, 12:58

mj3528 wrote:This is douchey, right:

Bill SimmonsCEO, The Ringer - follow at @ringer or http://www.theringer.com


Yes.

In a equally douchey move, I have no signature on my emails.
BostonSucksMyBalls - Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:03 am: I listen bc ive listened for about 25 years. I need to see this stupid thing thru.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby mj3528 » 13 Jan 2017, 13:01

chrisco wrote:
mj3528 wrote:This is douchey, right:

Bill SimmonsCEO, The Ringer - follow at @ringer or http://www.theringer.com


Yes.

In a equally douchey move, I have no signature on my emails.


That is not douchey as annoying. I have to look somewhere else for your number, just put it on the damn e-mail I am looking at.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby chrisco » 13 Jan 2017, 13:02

mj3528 wrote:
chrisco wrote:
mj3528 wrote:This is douchey, right:

Bill SimmonsCEO, The Ringer - follow at @ringer or http://www.theringer.com


Yes.

In a equally douchey move, I have no signature on my emails.


That is not douchey as annoying. I have to look somewhere else for your number, just put it on the damn e-mail I am looking at.

Why do I want you calling me if you don't already have my number?

On the Simmons thing....you have a masthead so that you can list all your titles. Keep that off the article.
BostonSucksMyBalls - Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:03 am: I listen bc ive listened for about 25 years. I need to see this stupid thing thru.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby mj3528 » 13 Jan 2017, 13:09

chrisco wrote:
mj3528 wrote:
chrisco wrote:
mj3528 wrote:This is douchey, right:

Bill SimmonsCEO, The Ringer - follow at @ringer or http://www.theringer.com


Yes.

In a equally douchey move, I have no signature on my emails.


That is not douchey as annoying. I have to look somewhere else for your number, just put it on the damn e-mail I am looking at.

Why do I want you calling me if you don't already have my number?

On the Simmons thing....you have a masthead so that you can list all your titles. Keep that off the article.


I have your number, but it is somewhere else. I need to call someone, look for an e-mail, it should be right there. But no, because you have to be so kooky/tm kite< I have to look elsewhere in the electronic file.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby chrisco » 13 Jan 2017, 13:11

mj3528 wrote:
chrisco wrote:
mj3528 wrote:
chrisco wrote:
mj3528 wrote:This is douchey, right:

Bill SimmonsCEO, The Ringer - follow at @ringer or http://www.theringer.com


Yes.

In a equally douchey move, I have no signature on my emails.


That is not douchey as annoying. I have to look somewhere else for your number, just put it on the damn e-mail I am looking at.

Why do I want you calling me if you don't already have my number?

On the Simmons thing....you have a masthead so that you can list all your titles. Keep that off the article.


I have your number, but it is somewhere else. I need to call someone, look for an e-mail, it should be right there. But no, because you have to be so kooky/tm kite< I have to look elsewhere in the electronic file.


Why do I want you calling me?
BostonSucksMyBalls - Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:03 am: I listen bc ive listened for about 25 years. I need to see this stupid thing thru.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 13 Jan 2017, 13:18

I agree with the lunatic. Put your fucking phone number in your sig. And use your sig on every email. I hate people so much.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby chrisco » 13 Jan 2017, 13:22

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:I agree with the lunatic. Put your fucking phone number in your sig. And use your sig on every email. I hate people so much.

Why would I want YOU calling me?
BostonSucksMyBalls - Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:03 am: I listen bc ive listened for about 25 years. I need to see this stupid thing thru.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby Gregs Kite » 13 Jan 2017, 13:28

To find out where to get a refund from my black market PonziCo calling card?
Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby chrisco » 13 Jan 2017, 13:58

Gregs Kite wrote:To find out where to get a refund from my black market PonziCo calling card?

We have fully staffed customer service centers capable of assisting you with your issue.
BostonSucksMyBalls - Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:03 am: I listen bc ive listened for about 25 years. I need to see this stupid thing thru.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby Dthefritz » 13 Jan 2017, 15:03

Quick tangent: The “Who’s the greatest QB ever?” question isn’t nearly as easy to answer as questions like

Ones that are objectively verifiable? Like at what temperature water boils? Or did Ben Roethlisberger, according to multiple eyewitnesses, drag a woman into a public bathroom in full view of everybody while his friends blocked the entrance to the door?

“Who’s the greatest NBA player ever?” (MJ),

I mean I'm sure more people would agree on that the greatest QB. Doesn't mean it's any less subjective. Doesn't mean there aren't assholes arguing for Kareem Abdul Jabbar or Oscar Robertson or even LeBron James.

“Who’s the greatest actress ever?” (Streep)

Looks like The Divine Miss Sarah Bernhardt is out in the cold. The voice of the people has spoken as one.

So much of a quarterback’s success hinges on coaching, defense, weapons, injury luck, divisional quality, a few close games, a couple of draft picks

ZOMG WHAAA?????? A quarterback not named Tom Brady makes a clutch throw in the playoffs and now he suddenly has to admit that the outcome of football games is sometimes dependent on things other than the Will-To-Win of the State Farm/Uggs Pitchman!

For that and many other reasons, I can’t imagine us ever collectively agreeing on a GOAT QB.

No one will ever collectively agree on anything about sports you fuckwit. If you didn't act like your opinion was the unvarnished truth all the time, you wouldn't even need to point this out.

But I would never rank those guys. There’s just no right way to do it.

Except to just do it because your entire career is based on the premise of answering inherently subjective baroom arguments.

Great quarterbacks are like great actors, great rappers, and great boxers — ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you’re ranked, just that you made the list.

All of these arguments are pretty equally subjective, except for entertainment having less defined parameters of winning/losing. But it's not like you've ever ignored that distinction before, of course.

Because Rodgers is Omar. He’s a one-man gang. You’re always afraid of him, you can’t ever count him out and you never know when he’s coming.
And those three Hail Marys (THREE!!!!) were football’s equivalent of Omar escaping Marlo’s crew with the five-story balcony jump.

There's no way to determine whether or not Tom Brady is better than Joe Montana, but Aaron Rodgers' quarterbacking is EXACTLY equivalent to a fictional character who robs drug dealers!

Here’s my point: I’ve never accepted that Rodgers was definitely on The List (or my list, anyway) until last weekend, when he shrugged off a slow start and started carving up the Giants like The Bye Bye Man.

Yeah, that Super Bowl winning QB dismantling a mediocre team in Round 1 really solidified his legacy.

I asked my friend Weinberger, a Giants fan, how his family reacted on Sunday as they watched Rodgers start doing Rodgers stuff. “We just got quiet,” he said. “Just silent.”

I too was really on the fence about whether a two time MVP was really all that good until Weinberger started doing Weinberger stuff.

BS: That’s called the Equinox Lifetime Membership after every college kid who got crushed gambling in the NFL playoffs then called their parents asking for money to “join a gym” because “they’re having a special right now.” If you go 0–11, you have to pretend you’re getting the lifetime membership — it’s the only way to cover the damages.

You know that one thing I did in college? Everybody does it all the time!
Either Holy Cross didn't have a gym in the early 90's or Bill's parents are as dumb as rocks.

Q: If you could combine a city’s teams and make players from different leagues available for cross-sport trades, what would be your ultimate “Who says no?” trade? Think the Cubs trading Kyle Schwarber to the L.A. Angels to get Aaron Donald from the Rams to the Bears, but better.
 — Caleb Payton

This guy has clearly worked hard to become as much of a douche as his name would imply. Tip of the cap.

Q: Is there anything in The Book of Basketball that has held up worse than comparing Marc Gasol to Frank Stallone?
 — Devin McCullen, Green Brook, N.J.

Far be it from me to defend Bill, but pretty much everybody at the time thought Marc Gasol was a worthless fatso who was only in the NBA because of nepotism.

Image
Can't kill him for Deron Williams who looked like a future HOF'er before bottoming out in his 20's. But Mega-LOLZ for putting Rondo ahead of Manu Ginobili.

Q: History doesn’t repeat, but it rhymes. With condolences in advance, doesn’t the Texans-Patriots matchup this weekend have a little whiff of Tebow beating the Steelers? Texans money line at +1000 or more, just saying. There’s going to be a well-nobody-saw-that-coming at some stage.
 — Tom Etherton
BS: The legalization of marijuana bodes well for future mailbags.

Yeah, not like Bill ever talks himself into absurdly improbable upsets based on flimsy comparisons. Remember when he said that the eventual champion Heat might lose to the Knicks in the first round? Bill must have been smoking reefer pots marijuanas back then lololololol.

Q: Listening to your Jerry Maguire podcast now.

OOOH America's foremost emo dickface sportswriter breaking down a sports movie by America's foremost emo dickface director? MUST LISTEN.

But wouldn’t Matthew McConaughey have also crushed it as Jerry?

It was not that complicated a role. "Hotshot white collar professional who learns humility and grapples with ethical issues" has literally [note:not literally] been played by every leading man ever.

BS: McConaughey wouldn’t have crushed it as much as Cruise crushed it

No one denies this!

By the way, we taped that podcast one week before Deadline’s interview with Cameron Crowe revealed that Crowe wrote the movie for … Tom Hanks! Who knew??? That almost broke my brain.

See my earlier comment.

I continue to think that “Hollywood Movie Casting What-ifs” would be a riveting book.

If by "riveting book" you mean entertaining time-killer of an Uproxx/AVClub/Buzzfeed article, which I'm guessing has been written many times over. Then, yeah. Sure.

Q: I have been a diehard loyal Knicks sufferer for more than 25 years. Sadly, I was born into it. Nothing, and I mean nothing, surprises me anymore. To sum up the 21st century as a Knicks loyalist, this clip is the single most enjoyable Knicks in-game moment of the 21st century for me (and a majority of fans as well, I’d bet). Please bear in mind that it’s 2017.
 — Morris

Note: The clip is of Jeremy Lin's game-winner against the Raptors. I don't know. I kind of enjoyed beating an aging Celtics team in the playoffs, but why celebrate our only playoff series win since Patrick Ewing? It wasn't culturally groundbreaking!

BS: Any tennis major can tell you within 30 seconds whether a 125-mph serve touched one-tenth of the baseline, but the NFL continues to be overwhelmed by any ambiguous touchdown or out-of-bounds play, and it still measures first downs with chains and pudgy white guys like it did in the 1920s.

It's almost like the rules of football are more complicated than the rules of tennis, you dolt. Why haven't we solved this whole federal budget mess when we have wondrous machines that preserve food by keeping them cold?

By contrast, Stan Kroenke wanted to build his own Los Angeles football stadium because it was a fantastic business move. For maybe $3 billion total, he owns the signature team in America’s second-biggest market, the obvious Super Bowl stadium every four years or so, the obvious venue for America’s next World Cup final, the obvious stadium for the 2024 Olympics (if L.A. gets it), the obvious home for every major L.A. concert, the new site of the NFL Network’s headquarters, a new home for the NFL combine, a new destination for every major soccer friendly and a fun partner right next door with the Forum.

The next time Bill the Business Guru realizes that sometimes even very wealthy people can have constraints on the amount of money that they can spend on a given business venture will be his first.

You couldn’t drag me to the Coliseum to bake in the sun for a Rams game at gunpoint, but seeing the Chargers play in a soccer stadium? I’m intrigued! What if the demand outweighs the supply? What if it becomes football’s Fenway Park for two years?

A crappy stadium that everybody loves because of nostalgia and tradition = some horseshit gimmick.

I trust Roethlisberger (two picks, one near-pick against a half-asleep Dolphins team) about as much as I trust Smith right now.

Funny, just one week ago he was ridiculing his readers for not trusting Roethlisberger's heroism and toughness.

Q: With the win at the Golden Globes of the TV show Atlanta, does this mean this is the year of Atlanta and I should put all my money on the Falcons?
 — Scott Simcock
BS: I don’t think the Year of Anything can include Dwight Howard unless it’s the Year of Why Did We Do That? Poor Dwight.

I mean, say what you want about how he's done in the past, but the Hawks are a perfectly fine team [currently on a 7 game winning streak] and Dwight has probably been their best player. I don't think he's somehow making Atlanta sports worse.

Was he a Level 1 guy or a Level 2 guy?

Nobody in the world is using your pyramid as a means of debate.

Would you have wanted him on your team for 15 years?

But Bill Walton was a god on earth because he was really good for a short period of time!!!!!

Should Dwight’s 2009 Magic team get more credit for embracing ThreeBall and being ahead of its time?

The only person who didn't give that team credit was mouth-breathers like you who

a) Were butthurt that Howard lead his team to victory over your precious Celtics
b) Were butthurt that Howard led his team to victory over LeBron James whom you wrote at the time was "going to win the 2009 title. Easily."
c) Were butthurt that the Lakers won the title, so you diminished the Magic as a way of diminishing their title.

Using that as our model and knowing what we know about Goodell after 10-plus years, I think his NFL Playoff Selection Committee would look like this: John Mara, Dan Rooney, Steve Bisciotti, Jerry Jones, Bill Polian, Tom Coughlin, Chris Mortensen, Bob Iger, Les Moonves, Troy Vincent, actress Kate Mara … and maybe Rooney Mara, too.

The 2007 Giants knocking Brady on his like 50 times = LUCK. THE NFL IS RIGGED. NAWT FAY-UH. The 2015 Seahawks literally throwing away a title on the 1 yard line: TAWM TERRIFIC NEVAH GAVE UP!

I think our updated Tortured NFL Fan Base Rankings look like this:
1. Buffalo
2. Cleveland
3. Minnesota
4. Detroit

THERE'S NO WAY TO DEFINITIVELY RANK THEM! THERE'S TOO MANY VARIABLES TO CONSIDER!!!!!!

BS: Any Patriots loss would be painful.

It would take us 15 years to get over it because we are the most tortured fanbase of all. How can you miss steak if you've never had it?

at least 22 shaky calls favoring Dallas (remember, every Cowboys playoff game is worth a few extra million viewers for Fox)

Not like Boston is a big market or has legions of mouthbreathing fans everywhere or that Tom Brady is a star the NFL would want to promote. I hope Jadeveon Clowney rips his spine out Mortal Kombat style.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby Gregs Kite » 13 Jan 2017, 15:15

The Giants defense this year was legit.
Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

Magnum - Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:36 pm: perhaps my reaction was built up greg hatred finally coming through. fuck that guy.

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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby Dthefritz » 13 Jan 2017, 15:27

Gregs Kite wrote:The Giants defense this year was legit.

Yes, it was. Rodgers played an awesome game. I still disagree that it was some definitive tipping point that made it officially OK to consider him an all-time great QB because an all-time great sportswriter gave us permission.
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Re: Bill Did a Mailbag 1/13/17

Postby JichaelDick » 13 Jan 2017, 15:28

Also, not having Otto Graham in there is a crime against humanity.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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