Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a friend

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Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a friend

Postby JichaelDick » 03 Jun 2016, 18:02

TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 03 Jun 2016, 21:51

JichaelDick wrote:The KD conundrum


(cracks neck)

I kept thinking about Kevin Durant during Game 1 of the NBA Finals, if only because it feels like we already HAD the Finals


Yeah, but we didn't. By the literal definition. And we're watching the MVP go against who is the actual best player with a full assortment of talent. But sure, whatever.

Now he’s watching the Finals on TV like everyone else, and he’s probably wondering things like, “Why would anyone think they can win a title with J.R. Smith playing 36 minutes a game?”; “Is the East really THAT bad?”; and “Why is Stephen A. Smith on TV this much?” just like anyone else.


1) NOBODY RIPS ON JR SMITH
2) everyone knew this already
3) I actually respect the swipe, you pussy.

This seems like a good time to mention that Durant doesn’t resemble anyone who ever played basketball. God made him 7 feet tall with Freddy Krueger arms, loping strides, 25-foot range, an effortless handle and the quickest release of any forward since Bernard King. The number nerds hail him as one of the most efficient shooters ever, someone who could finish his career within hollering distance of the 50–40–90 Club. The eye testers rave about his A-list athleticism, maybe not on the hallowed level of LeBron and Westbrook, but one notch below. And he’s a smart player, even if his team hasn’t always been that smart. He’s like George Gervin crossed with Tracy McGrady crossed with Dirk Nowitzki crossed with an alien. Assuming he stays healthy, we can count on remembering him as one of the five best forwards ever.


Can't argue with him, Durant's the balls. But fuck him for the Bernard shoehorn reference, whatever. Shrug. But as much as I want to disagree.....Duncan-Bird-Bron-KG-Barkley...but yeah, whatever. Sure.

After nine seasons, it’s almost a fluke that Durant has appeared in only one Finals.


No? That's sports?

Everyone believes that Durant will sign a two-year extension with an opt-out clause that will kick in next summer; that’s when the NBA’s salary cap climbs to Star Wars–budget levels. But Durant also broke his foot two seasons ago, returned too quickly and underwent two more surgeries on that same foot. He looked healthy last season, but given the NBA’s history of stars and feet, you have to admit, signing a short-term deal feels risky even if he has a completed max contract and a mammoth Nike deal to cushion him (more on that Nike deal later). A one-year extension also creates an on-steroids version of the same “Where is KD going?” bullshit that kept swirling for an entire year. It’s just more uncertainty, more questions, more speculation, more stuff that Durant openly despises.


Hey...there is actually a really interesting NBA Finals happening right now, are we...no, okay. Nevermind.

For the rest of this decade, any superstar has a better chance of making the Finals in the East. The West has Golden State, San Antonio, OKC (for now), the star-crossed Clippers, the savvy Blazers and the precocious T-Wolves lurking like Arya Stark.


I like to think we're more a Brejon Greyjoy.

That's a thing, right?

Durant knows this. I promise you. He hasn’t made the Finals since 2012 for a variety of reasons: injuries, cheap owners, shaky coaching, bad luck, a stacked conference, and one dreadfully short-sighted trade (that’s becoming less and less dreadful as Steven Adams blossoms into a Kiwi warrior, but still). You can excuse all of those things and easily land at the following place: We should have won at least one title, it’s amazing that we didn’t, I can’t give up on this team yet. Admirable and understandable, especially for someone as loyal to fans and teammates as Durant has been.


.....i can't even.......

When OKC dispatched San Antonio and won three of the first four against Golden State, I, like everyone else, assumed the Thunder were headed for rings and champagne showers and Jimmy Kimmel appearances.


](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

There was no assumption. There were no rings. And of courrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrse Kimmel.

What I loved most about those two weeks of real brilliance, other than their stupefying athleticism and old-school bully-ball routine around the rim: Billy Donovan finally tapped into KD’s two-way potential.


the white man made the great black man greater. alright then.

i'm just reading the fucking sentence.

My biggest Durant-related regret these past few seasons: His coaches never unleashed this 7-foot superfreak as a devastating two-way small-ball weapon. Think how creatively the Patriots use Rob Gronkowski. Is he a receiver? A tight end? A blocker? What’s he doing on this down?


caps lock angry face emoticon are you kidding trolling

he comes here.

Then again, Donovan knew he couldn’t fully commit to running his offense through Durant until Westbrook accepted being 1996 Pippen or 2013 Wade … and that was never happening. There was always a gentle tug-of-war between KD and Russ, never contentious, never destructive — but you could always feel it.


No, I never felt that. I always felt OKC had two of the 10, more probably 5 best players on the planet. And they should keep that and go with it. Like anyone who doesn't just looks at OKC and says "Oh, can Miranda handle Carrie talking to her like that?"

And I think that’s what was supposed to happen. Right until Klay and Steph drained an astonishing 17 threes to stave them off.
I repeat … 17 THREES!!!!
At least 10 different times during Game 6, it felt like Oklahoma City was one play away from blowing it open and winning by 15 or more. And every time, one of the Warriors (usually Klay) made another ludicrous play.


So....it was a basketball game. :beatsme:

And that’s how Oklahoma City missed the Finals — because a historically great team dug deep and turned a close-out game into a game of H-O-R-S-E.


And that's how Payton/Kemp never won in Seattle, how Stockton/Malone never won a title, how Barkley never won, how West was - what, Jike? - 1-8 in titles, how Oscar needed Kareem, how Clyde needed Dream, how WHAT THE FUCK EVER LeBron has a full arsenal, so I'm told, against the MVP with a better team. This is '98 re deux you fuck. Nah, talk out of both sides of your clit that Durant shouldn't leave OKC and should. Or how a really, really good team should be the actual champs but, awwwwwwwwwwwwww shucks, just didn't happen.

#Cassell'sKnee'04

Game 6 has already earned a permanent spot on the short list of historic WTF Playoff Games, right there with Game 5 of ’87 Celts-Pistons, Game 7 of ’00 Blazers-Lakers, Game 5 of ’07 Pistons-Cavs, Game 1 of ’95 Magic-Rockets, Game 6 of ’13 Heat-Spurs, and a few others that live forever on NBA TV.


No offense, Cheese, but...No. No it isn't.

We can’t ignore one additional motivation for Durant’s summer that almost feels petty to mention. But screw it. After winning the 2014 MVP and giving a heartwarming speech that inspired a shockingly decent Lifetime movie, Durant signed a sneaker deal with Nike that could generate as much as $300 million for him. You know what happened next: He injured his foot and missed nearly all of the 2014–15 season right as Curry’s popularity skyrocketed to Jordanesque levels for Under Armour. (Even worse for Nike — it HAD Curry and blew it.) One year later, Kobe’s goofy farewell tour overshadowed Durant’s excellent comeback season, as did Golden State’s impossible 73–9 feat, as did Curry winning another MVP and becoming the modern-day Pied Piper. LeBron remained LeBron — Nike’s biggest star, its franchise guy in every respect. Even Westbrook’s polarizing brilliance swallowed up Durant from time to time. Nobody was having “LeBron or Durant?” arguments anymore; we didn’t even know if Kevin Durant was the best guy on his own team. In February 2014, Durant and LeBron had the best-selling shoes among all NBA players. Two years later, it’s all about Under Armour (Curry) vs. Nike (LeBron and Jordan Brand); if you surf around, you can’t find Durant in any story about top-selling NBA sneakers. His representatives at Roc Nation know it; so does Nike. And if you think they haven’t mentioned this to him, repeatedly, you’re bonkers.


Basketball Analysis.

Image

Give him credit, he didn't mention anything a former player told him.


FTR: If Durant leaves and doesn't get raked over the coals 10X more than Bron that'll be interesting. Hey, Bill, there'a column. Or whatever, just say the obvious.
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby babylurch » 04 Jun 2016, 06:11

He isn't with ESPN, why would former players talk to him?
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 04 Jun 2016, 06:35

Under Armor makes shoes? Seriously? I only knew they make ugly hats that Speith wears.
PS: I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day Reggie died. I just hate this day. True Celtic fans know what I mean.

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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Incogneetus69 » 06 Jun 2016, 06:42

I don't read here or post often or pay child support but I like the long rain man esque breakdowns that guy does^
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Gregs Kite » 06 Jun 2016, 07:27

Incogneetus69 wrote:I don't read here or post often or pay child support but I like the long rain man esque breakdowns that guy does^


Post of the week was decided early this week, fellas.
You fuckers ruined kite.

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BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Dthefritz » 06 Jun 2016, 18:36

This seems like a good time to mention that Durant doesn’t resemble anyone who ever played basketball
He’s like George Gervin crossed with Tracy McGrady crossed with Dirk Nowitzki crossed with an alien

Glad to see he hasn't lost his touch.

Thank you for doing this, MTM. Great job. Thank you also for agreeing to do these in perpetuity.
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Seahawks XL Champs » 08 Jun 2016, 01:18

MisterTambourineMan wrote:
JichaelDick wrote:The KD conundrum


(cracks neck)

I kept thinking about Kevin Durant during Game 1 of the NBA Finals, if only because it feels like we already HAD the Finals


Yeah, but we didn't. By the literal definition. And we're watching the MVP go against who is the actual best player with a full assortment of talent. But sure, whatever.

Now he’s watching the Finals on TV like everyone else, and he’s probably wondering things like, “Why would anyone think they can win a title with J.R. Smith playing 36 minutes a game?”; “Is the East really THAT bad?”; and “Why is Stephen A. Smith on TV this much?” just like anyone else.


1) NOBODY RIPS ON JR SMITH
2) everyone knew this already
3) I actually respect the swipe, you pussy.

This seems like a good time to mention that Durant doesn’t resemble anyone who ever played basketball. God made him 7 feet tall with Freddy Krueger arms, loping strides, 25-foot range, an effortless handle and the quickest release of any forward since Bernard King. The number nerds hail him as one of the most efficient shooters ever, someone who could finish his career within hollering distance of the 50–40–90 Club. The eye testers rave about his A-list athleticism, maybe not on the hallowed level of LeBron and Westbrook, but one notch below. And he’s a smart player, even if his team hasn’t always been that smart. He’s like George Gervin crossed with Tracy McGrady crossed with Dirk Nowitzki crossed with an alien. Assuming he stays healthy, we can count on remembering him as one of the five best forwards ever.


Can't argue with him, Durant's the balls. But fuck him for the Bernard shoehorn reference, whatever. Shrug. But as much as I want to disagree.....Duncan-Bird-Bron-KG-Barkley...but yeah, whatever. Sure.

After nine seasons, it’s almost a fluke that Durant has appeared in only one Finals.


No? That's sports?

Everyone believes that Durant will sign a two-year extension with an opt-out clause that will kick in next summer; that’s when the NBA’s salary cap climbs to Star Wars–budget levels. But Durant also broke his foot two seasons ago, returned too quickly and underwent two more surgeries on that same foot. He looked healthy last season, but given the NBA’s history of stars and feet, you have to admit, signing a short-term deal feels risky even if he has a completed max contract and a mammoth Nike deal to cushion him (more on that Nike deal later). A one-year extension also creates an on-steroids version of the same “Where is KD going?” bullshit that kept swirling for an entire year. It’s just more uncertainty, more questions, more speculation, more stuff that Durant openly despises.


Hey...there is actually a really interesting NBA Finals happening right now, are we...no, okay. Nevermind.

For the rest of this decade, any superstar has a better chance of making the Finals in the East. The West has Golden State, San Antonio, OKC (for now), the star-crossed Clippers, the savvy Blazers and the precocious T-Wolves lurking like Arya Stark.


I like to think we're more a Brejon Greyjoy.

That's a thing, right?

Durant knows this. I promise you. He hasn’t made the Finals since 2012 for a variety of reasons: injuries, cheap owners, shaky coaching, bad luck, a stacked conference, and one dreadfully short-sighted trade (that’s becoming less and less dreadful as Steven Adams blossoms into a Kiwi warrior, but still). You can excuse all of those things and easily land at the following place: We should have won at least one title, it’s amazing that we didn’t, I can’t give up on this team yet. Admirable and understandable, especially for someone as loyal to fans and teammates as Durant has been.


.....i can't even.......

When OKC dispatched San Antonio and won three of the first four against Golden State, I, like everyone else, assumed the Thunder were headed for rings and champagne showers and Jimmy Kimmel appearances.


](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

There was no assumption. There were no rings. And of courrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrse Kimmel.

What I loved most about those two weeks of real brilliance, other than their stupefying athleticism and old-school bully-ball routine around the rim: Billy Donovan finally tapped into KD’s two-way potential.


the white man made the great black man greater. alright then.

i'm just reading the fucking sentence.

My biggest Durant-related regret these past few seasons: His coaches never unleashed this 7-foot superfreak as a devastating two-way small-ball weapon. Think how creatively the Patriots use Rob Gronkowski. Is he a receiver? A tight end? A blocker? What’s he doing on this down?


caps lock angry face emoticon are you kidding trolling

he comes here.

Then again, Donovan knew he couldn’t fully commit to running his offense through Durant until Westbrook accepted being 1996 Pippen or 2013 Wade … and that was never happening. There was always a gentle tug-of-war between KD and Russ, never contentious, never destructive — but you could always feel it.


No, I never felt that. I always felt OKC had two of the 10, more probably 5 best players on the planet. And they should keep that and go with it. Like anyone who doesn't just looks at OKC and says "Oh, can Miranda handle Carrie talking to her like that?"

And I think that’s what was supposed to happen. Right until Klay and Steph drained an astonishing 17 threes to stave them off.
I repeat … 17 THREES!!!!
At least 10 different times during Game 6, it felt like Oklahoma City was one play away from blowing it open and winning by 15 or more. And every time, one of the Warriors (usually Klay) made another ludicrous play.


So....it was a basketball game. :beatsme:

And that’s how Oklahoma City missed the Finals — because a historically great team dug deep and turned a close-out game into a game of H-O-R-S-E.


And that's how Payton/Kemp never won in Seattle, how Stockton/Malone never won a title, how Barkley never won, how West was - what, Jike? - 1-8 in titles, how Oscar needed Kareem, how Clyde needed Dream, how WHAT THE FUCK EVER LeBron has a full arsenal, so I'm told, against the MVP with a better team. This is '98 re deux you fuck. Nah, talk out of both sides of your clit that Durant shouldn't leave OKC and should. Or how a really, really good team should be the actual champs but, awwwwwwwwwwwwww shucks, just didn't happen.

#Cassell'sKnee'04

Game 6 has already earned a permanent spot on the short list of historic WTF Playoff Games, right there with Game 5 of ’87 Celts-Pistons, Game 7 of ’00 Blazers-Lakers, Game 5 of ’07 Pistons-Cavs, Game 1 of ’95 Magic-Rockets, Game 6 of ’13 Heat-Spurs, and a few others that live forever on NBA TV.


No offense, Cheese, but...No. No it isn't.

We can’t ignore one additional motivation for Durant’s summer that almost feels petty to mention. But screw it. After winning the 2014 MVP and giving a heartwarming speech that inspired a shockingly decent Lifetime movie, Durant signed a sneaker deal with Nike that could generate as much as $300 million for him. You know what happened next: He injured his foot and missed nearly all of the 2014–15 season right as Curry’s popularity skyrocketed to Jordanesque levels for Under Armour. (Even worse for Nike — it HAD Curry and blew it.) One year later, Kobe’s goofy farewell tour overshadowed Durant’s excellent comeback season, as did Golden State’s impossible 73–9 feat, as did Curry winning another MVP and becoming the modern-day Pied Piper. LeBron remained LeBron — Nike’s biggest star, its franchise guy in every respect. Even Westbrook’s polarizing brilliance swallowed up Durant from time to time. Nobody was having “LeBron or Durant?” arguments anymore; we didn’t even know if Kevin Durant was the best guy on his own team. In February 2014, Durant and LeBron had the best-selling shoes among all NBA players. Two years later, it’s all about Under Armour (Curry) vs. Nike (LeBron and Jordan Brand); if you surf around, you can’t find Durant in any story about top-selling NBA sneakers. His representatives at Roc Nation know it; so does Nike. And if you think they haven’t mentioned this to him, repeatedly, you’re bonkers.


Basketball Analysis.

Image

Give him credit, he didn't mention anything a former player told him.


FTR: If Durant leaves and doesn't get raked over the coals 10X more than Bron that'll be interesting. Hey, Bill, there'a column. Or whatever, just say the obvious.


Two points:

a) agreed so much about Bernard King. Guy was good but Jesus Christ how can Bill praise him and rip Ewing, who starred for the same team much more successfully? He latches onto something and doesn't stop.

b) Was that game 6 not as bad as Kings v Lakers, Spurs against Heat, and a few others? That was the one good point I thought he made.
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby JichaelDick » 08 Jun 2016, 01:41

I think DtF hit it: Simmons praises King because the 1984 Knicks played Boston so tough but ultimately lost, while Ewing kicked Boston's ass something fierce in a decisive Game 5 (in an old-school first round matchup) in 1990, so he can "respect" King more because he lost and Ewing won.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby MisterTambourineMan » 08 Jun 2016, 10:59

Seahawks XL Champs wrote:b) Was that game 6 not as bad as Kings v Lakers, Spurs against Heat, and a few others? That was the one good point I thought he made.


Subjective obviously, so I dunno. To me at least, I wasn't surprised. Golden State's a fucking juggernaut and I thought they won that game more than OKC lost it.

I wouldn't have put it on the level of those other ones at least.
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Goose » 08 Jun 2016, 11:26

Long ass story/interview with Bill.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/featur ... his-900291

I wonder if that's Dr. V's magical putter he's holding?

ETA: I just noticed that this is a rummy from another thread. I'm going to stand fast on this one since I liked my Dr. V joke.
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Iron Mike Sharpe » 08 Jun 2016, 11:37

I like the joke too.
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby Gregs Kite » 08 Jun 2016, 11:43

Goose wrote:Long ass story/interview with Bill.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/featur ... his-900291

I wonder if that's Dr. V's magical putter he's holding?

ETA: I just noticed that this is a rummy from another thread. I'm going to stand fast on this one since I liked my Dr. V joke.


I read the entire article because I like Simmons. He seems to take some responsibility for how he acted at ESPN near the end. That was refreshing.

However, I promise to enjoy one of you guys going FULL JOHN OLIVERZZZZZ on this.
You fuckers ruined kite.

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BostonSucksMyBalls - Thu May 11, 2017 2:07 pm: greg your being a lil bitch in the hall of sand

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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby JichaelDick » 08 Jun 2016, 11:48

Gregs Kite wrote:
Goose wrote:Long ass story/interview with Bill.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/featur ... his-900291

I wonder if that's Dr. V's magical putter he's holding?

ETA: I just noticed that this is a rummy from another thread. I'm going to stand fast on this one since I liked my Dr. V joke.


I read the entire article because I like Simmons. He seems to take some responsibility for how he acted at ESPN near the end. That was refreshing.

However, I promise to enjoy one of you guys going FULL JOHN OLIVERZZZZZ on this.


The only thing I found hilarious was him admitting becoming a feminist because he had a daughter.

That said, he wasn't as douchetastic as normal. AND DAMN IT, I POSTED THIS FIRST.
TVF wannabe - Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:42 pm: ...a good rule of thumb is if you post some thing like that and IMS quickly jumps in with an uncomfortable reference you went too far
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Re: Guess who's back, back again. Billy's back, tell a frien

Postby JT99 » 08 Jun 2016, 12:14

Named himself "Ice Man", huh?
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BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:26 Jan 2017 10:53: need the D
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