Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Dr Jeckyll » 15 Aug 2016, 06:28

Jew Jitsu wrote:It's finally over. Tom Brady admitted that he's a cheater. Nothing more to discuss, please lock this thread, I'm sure Simmons said what he had to say on today's podcast and this is it.


I think this is morphing into the "Simmons said something negative about anything or anyone" thread.

eta: since it doesn't appear the mods are going to lock this, now your thread can live forever or until people stop caring about/analyzing all the words simmons says/writes/thinks. little known fact: the lebron thread originally started as a 2010 free agency thread, it could be sitting on page 8 now or something. when it became obvious that people were obsessed with lebron that year i just changed the title and now it's got another 3 years or so before it gradually dies off :)
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby ctz31 » 20 Aug 2016, 20:56

Brutal Red Sox loss. I wonder how many wins Carson Smith's injury cost them this season... At least 4 or 5.


Carson Smith. Balls, thoughts?
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 21 Aug 2016, 13:39

ctz31 wrote:
Brutal Red Sox loss. I wonder how many wins Carson Smith's injury cost them this season... At least 4 or 5.


Carson Smith. Balls, thoughts?


When Bill's right, he's right. Carson Smith has a hose. Whatever that means. Whoever he is.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Dthefritz » 22 Aug 2016, 19:36

BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
ctz31 wrote:
Brutal Red Sox loss. I wonder how many wins Carson Smith's injury cost them this season... At least 4 or 5.


Carson Smith. Balls, thoughts?


When Bill's right, he's right. Carson Smith has a hose. Whatever that means. Whoever he is.

According to the Wins Above Replacement statistic, this cockbag was worth 2.3 wins last season for the Mariners over your off-the-street bullpen guy. Moving from the 4th most pitcher-friendly park in baseball to the 6th LEAST pitcher-friendly park, we can reasonably assume he would be twice as good because the Red Sox have been through more meaningful moments as a fanbase.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Goose » 23 Aug 2016, 08:54

Dthefritz wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:
ctz31 wrote:
Brutal Red Sox loss. I wonder how many wins Carson Smith's injury cost them this season... At least 4 or 5.


Carson Smith. Balls, thoughts?


When Bill's right, he's right. Carson Smith has a hose. Whatever that means. Whoever he is.

According to the Wins Above Replacement statistic, this cockbag was worth 2.3 wins last season for the Mariners over your off-the-street bullpen guy. Moving from the 4th most pitcher-friendly park in baseball to the 6th LEAST pitcher-friendly park, we can reasonably assume he would be twice as good because the Red Sox have been through more meaningful moments as a fanbase.


It's Simbometrics.

Image

WAR does not take into account the Bah-ston crowd willing their teams to victory. Kite knows what I mean.

Image

WAR*rGc should be used when calculating potential performance for any Boston based player, where rGc is equal to 2.26, Pedro's ERA in Boston, not counting his final year when he was totally hurt and already mentally checked out of Beantown. And rGc, of course, is named as an homage to the rocking Garden crowd that won Boston 16 of their 17 NBA championships.

Note: The 1966 chip was won solely by the players and coaches. Even the Garden crowd in 1966 would tell you they had a fork in their backs after winning seven straight chips.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Gregs Kite » 05 Oct 2016, 07:43

@BillSimmons 9h9 hours ago

Was rooting for Baltimore - Toronto is scary, I wanted them out of the playoffs.


I agree with this take, but since this is the thread where we're supposed to pretend to hate Simmons I need a magma hot taek here, let's see.

<deep breath>

Okay, Billy Boy, now what? You're scared of the Faux Eurocentric sports team coming into Obama's America and possibly upsetting the polar vortex and Koch Brothers anti-Yemen stance by beating ARE country's beloved band of scrappy Tea Party dissidents? I pray to almighty Allah that Simpson realizes that the world's axis won't maintain it's course when these clear Assad supporting ragheads wearing their BLOO Jay moniker are coming for not only high score in a baseball game, but as a global deterrent to DERRR TRUMPF's impending desecration of Audio-Judo-Christianity and chinese buffets.
You fuckers ruined kite.

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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Jew Jitsu » 05 Oct 2016, 07:51

Greg's Kite with no regard for human life!
ctz31 - Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:19 pm: Also blood people told me no alcohol for 24 hours. I made it 1.5.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby ctz31 » 05 Oct 2016, 07:52

Gregs Kite wrote:
@BillSimmons 9h9 hours ago

Was rooting for Baltimore - Toronto is scary, I wanted them out of the playoffs.


I agree with this take, but since this is the thread where we're supposed to pretend to hate Simmons I need a magma hot taek here, let's see.

<deep breath>

Okay, Billy Boy, now what? You're scared of the Faux Eurocentric sports team coming into Obama's America and possibly upsetting the polar vortex and Koch Brothers anti-Yemen stance by beating ARE country's beloved band of scrappy Tea Party dissidents? I pray to almighty Allah that Simpson realizes that the world's axis won't maintain it's course when these clear Assad supporting ragheads wearing their BLOO Jay moniker are coming for not only high score in a baseball game, but as a global deterrent to DERRR TRUMPF's impending desecration of Audio-Judo-Christianity and chinese buffets.


Not bad, but needed more boston crowd. And kobe.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Gregs Kite » 05 Oct 2016, 07:59

ctz31 wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:
@BillSimmons 9h9 hours ago

Was rooting for Baltimore - Toronto is scary, I wanted them out of the playoffs.


I agree with this take, but since this is the thread where we're supposed to pretend to hate Simmons I need a magma hot taek here, let's see.

<deep breath>

Okay, Billy Boy, now what? You're scared of the Faux Eurocentric sports team coming into Obama's America and possibly upsetting the polar vortex and Koch Brothers anti-Yemen stance by beating ARE country's beloved band of scrappy Tea Party dissidents? I pray to almighty Allah that Simpson realizes that the world's axis won't maintain it's course when these clear Assad supporting ragheads wearing their BLOO Jay moniker are coming for not only high score in a baseball game, but as a global deterrent to DERRR TRUMPF's impending desecration of Audio-Judo-Christianity and chinese buffets.


Not bad, but needed more boston crowd. And kobe.


I think it's more than common knowledge that ARE Fenway fans will no doubt send those dirty JOO Jay devils back to the barren waste-land of whatever lawless, Torontonian territory they crawled out of based on nothing but Bud Lights, Fenway Franks and Big Papi's taint sweat, thrusting our will on them like TRUMPF will not doubt thrust upon Aleppo and blow them back to a time before Constantinople drove the filthy JOOS deep into the desert, like Kobe's penis in a white woman's butthole.
You fuckers ruined kite.

Apr 22, 2015 3:49 pm Clayton Bigsby i enjoy sports

TheWolf - Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:26 pm: i'm ctz. i'm sober at 3:30 pm. dork

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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby ctz31 » 05 Oct 2016, 08:24

Gregs Kite wrote:
ctz31 wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:
@BillSimmons 9h9 hours ago

Was rooting for Baltimore - Toronto is scary, I wanted them out of the playoffs.


I agree with this take, but since this is the thread where we're supposed to pretend to hate Simmons I need a magma hot taek here, let's see.

<deep breath>

Okay, Billy Boy, now what? You're scared of the Faux Eurocentric sports team coming into Obama's America and possibly upsetting the polar vortex and Koch Brothers anti-Yemen stance by beating ARE country's beloved band of scrappy Tea Party dissidents? I pray to almighty Allah that Simpson realizes that the world's axis won't maintain it's course when these clear Assad supporting ragheads wearing their BLOO Jay moniker are coming for not only high score in a baseball game, but as a global deterrent to DERRR TRUMPF's impending desecration of Audio-Judo-Christianity and chinese buffets.


Not bad, but needed more boston crowd. And kobe.


I think it's more than common knowledge that ARE Fenway fans will no doubt send those dirty JOO Jay devils back to the barren waste-land of whatever lawless, Torontonian territory they crawled out of based on nothing but Bud Lights, Fenway Franks and Big Papi's taint sweat, thrusting our will on them like TRUMPF will not doubt thrust upon Aleppo and blow them back to a time before Constantinople drove the filthy JOOS deep into the desert, like Kobe's penis in a white woman's butthole.


TY.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Dthefritz » 05 Oct 2016, 17:16

ctz31 wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:
ctz31 wrote:
Gregs Kite wrote:
@BillSimmons 9h9 hours ago

Was rooting for Baltimore - Toronto is scary, I wanted them out of the playoffs.


I agree with this take, but since this is the thread where we're supposed to pretend to hate Simmons I need a magma hot taek here, let's see.

<deep breath>

Okay, Billy Boy, now what? You're scared of the Faux Eurocentric sports team coming into Obama's America and possibly upsetting the polar vortex and Koch Brothers anti-Yemen stance by beating ARE country's beloved band of scrappy Tea Party dissidents? I pray to almighty Allah that Simpson realizes that the world's axis won't maintain it's course when these clear Assad supporting ragheads wearing their BLOO Jay moniker are coming for not only high score in a baseball game, but as a global deterrent to DERRR TRUMPF's impending desecration of Audio-Judo-Christianity and chinese buffets.


Not bad, but needed more boston crowd. And kobe.


I think it's more than common knowledge that ARE Fenway fans will no doubt send those dirty JOO Jay devils back to the barren waste-land of whatever lawless, Torontonian territory they crawled out of based on nothing but Bud Lights, Fenway Franks and Big Papi's taint sweat, thrusting our will on them like TRUMPF will not doubt thrust upon Aleppo and blow them back to a time before Constantinople drove the filthy JOOS deep into the desert, like Kobe's penis in a white woman's butthole.


TY.

I like that your heroic defense of the almighty bill involves criticizing people for going on irrelevant tangents.
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Goose » 16 Oct 2016, 18:09

The only Twitter follow than Sportsguy33 is ctz9.5"
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Briandong79 » 14 Nov 2016, 16:30

PhillyJim76 - Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:20 am: X?I wrote a disturbing clueless fan fiction story that got me in hot water in college
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Incogneetus69 » 14 Nov 2016, 16:32

I saw that tweet yesterday and thought why the fuck does bill have such a hardon for Chris collinsworth?
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Re: Bill Simmons Cramp Counter

Postby Dthefritz » 14 Nov 2016, 18:38

We can only imagine if bill has any idea what a fucking prick he looks like when he writes like this. Not counting that he doesn't know jack dick about football, he's completely ignoring that it's chris' job to engage a national audience and make the game fun for them, not throw cold water on a teams performance to assuage some butthurt Homers. And then to treat collingsworth like he's a 2nd grader who doesn't understand the basics competitive dynamics of a sport he played...
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