Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 30 Jun 2011, 12:57

mister bacon wrote:
White Lightning wrote:there is a straight to DVD group that rotates through all of these movies.



excellent. can you look in the movies forum and see if there's a straight to DVD thread? if there is, please post some of your favorites. if not, please start one and do the same.

also, let us know who is in this club you speak of...


and be sure to browse some of the other forums here at SOTSG. we arent just simmons' columns. /oblig /bacon

this year's Oscar race (potentially the most ghastly in years)


positively ghastlyyyyyyyaaayayayyyyyyy11!

homo.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby McNutty » 30 Jun 2011, 13:30

Honeymoon's over. That was an abortion. An 8th grade blogger would be embarrassed by that rambling load.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby BFP » 30 Jun 2011, 15:12

This is, without a doubt, the stupidest thing I have ever read by Simmons, and that's saying a lot. He keeps making comparisons to sports to "prove" that a guy like Jim Carrey or Ryan Reynolds aren't stars, when the only argument anybody has to say is, "Are they really, really famous? And is it because they are in movies? Yes to both? Cool, they're movie stars."
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby dlpin » 30 Jun 2011, 15:40

Yeah, the argument that "everyone thinks they are movie stars, but they aren't" is one that is silly. Besides, who would be a star by his definition?
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby McNutty » 30 Jun 2011, 16:36

dlpin wrote:Yeah, the argument that "everyone thinks they are movie stars, but they aren't" is one that is silly. Besides, who would be a star by his definition?


Here's his list:

I believe there are 24 male movie stars right now, a funny number since that takes the NBA All-Star analogy full circle. But here's the list: Smith and Leo; Depp and Cruise; Clooney, Damon and Pitt; Downey and Bale; Hanks and Denzel; Stiller and Sandler; Crowe and Bridges; Carell, Rogen, Ferrell and Galifianakis; Wahlberg and Affleck; Gyllenhall (it kills me to put him on here, but there's just no way to avoid it); Justin Timberlake (who became a movie star simply by being so famous that he brainwashed us); and amazingly, Kevin James.


I guess his "movie star" aversion is similar to his Euroballer aversion (Except for Dirk - and Christian Bale and Russell Crowe): Hugh Grant isn't a "movie star"? Colin Firth isn't a "movie star"? Ricky Gervais isn't a "movie star" but fucking Seth Rogen is? Anthony Hopkins isn't a "movie star"? Daniel Day-Lewis isn't a "movie star"? Liam Neeson, Daniel Craig, Ewan MacGregor, Jude Law, Ben Kingsley, Gary Oldham, Ralph Fiennes, and Orlando Bloom aren't "movie stars"? Gerard Depardieu isn't a "movie star" ? Simba shit the bed with this 5000 word piece of drivel, then took a nap in the pile.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby the cheese » 30 Jun 2011, 16:44

McNutty wrote:
dlpin wrote:Yeah, the argument that "everyone thinks they are movie stars, but they aren't" is one that is silly. Besides, who would be a star by his definition?


Here's his list:

I believe there are 24 male movie stars right now, a funny number since that takes the NBA All-Star analogy full circle. But here's the list: Smith and Leo; Depp and Cruise; Clooney, Damon and Pitt; Downey and Bale; Hanks and Denzel; Stiller and Sandler; Crowe and Bridges; Carell, Rogen, Ferrell and Galifianakis; Wahlberg and Affleck; Gyllenhall (it kills me to put him on here, but there's just no way to avoid it); Justin Timberlake (who became a movie star simply by being so famous that he brainwashed us); and amazingly, Kevin James.


I guess his "movie star" aversion is similar to his Euroballer aversion (Except for Dirk - and Christian Bale and Russell Crowe): Hugh Grant isn't a "movie star"? Colin Firth isn't a "movie star"? Ricky Gervais isn't a "movie star" but fucking Seth Rogen is? Anthony Hopkins isn't a "movie star"? Daniel Day-Lewis isn't a "movie star"? Liam Neeson, Daniel Craig, Ewan MacGregor, Jude Law, Ben Kingsley, Gary Oldham, Ralph Fiennes, and Orlando Bloom aren't "movie stars"? Gerard Depardieu isn't a "movie star" ? Simba shit the bed with this 5000 word piece of drivel, then took a nap in the pile.


Are you CRM from the BigLead? Or do you read TheBigLead with a frequency? Because fans of TBL shouldn't throw stones.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby McNutty » 30 Jun 2011, 16:53

the cheese wrote:
McNutty wrote:
dlpin wrote:Yeah, the argument that "everyone thinks they are movie stars, but they aren't" is one that is silly. Besides, who would be a star by his definition?


Here's his list:

I believe there are 24 male movie stars right now, a funny number since that takes the NBA All-Star analogy full circle. But here's the list: Smith and Leo; Depp and Cruise; Clooney, Damon and Pitt; Downey and Bale; Hanks and Denzel; Stiller and Sandler; Crowe and Bridges; Carell, Rogen, Ferrell and Galifianakis; Wahlberg and Affleck; Gyllenhall (it kills me to put him on here, but there's just no way to avoid it); Justin Timberlake (who became a movie star simply by being so famous that he brainwashed us); and amazingly, Kevin James.


I guess his "movie star" aversion is similar to his Euroballer aversion (Except for Dirk - and Christian Bale and Russell Crowe): Hugh Grant isn't a "movie star"? Colin Firth isn't a "movie star"? Ricky Gervais isn't a "movie star" but fucking Seth Rogen is? Anthony Hopkins isn't a "movie star"? Daniel Day-Lewis isn't a "movie star"? Liam Neeson, Daniel Craig, Ewan MacGregor, Jude Law, Ben Kingsley, Gary Oldham, Ralph Fiennes, and Orlando Bloom aren't "movie stars"? Gerard Depardieu isn't a "movie star" ? Simba shit the bed with this 5000 word piece of drivel, then took a nap in the pile.


Are you CRM from the BigLead? Or do you read TheBigLead with a frequency? Because fans of TBL shouldn't throw stones.


Uh, no. Don't even know what the BigLead is. I guess I'll look it up.

EDIT: Looked up the Big Lead. I see the point of your question, now. Anyway, I suspect that Simmons will take a great deal of grief for this mess.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby someguysomewhere » 30 Jun 2011, 18:08

Thought I got about a third of the way through it, then skimmed to the bottom to see if anything looked worthwhile and saw it was a two page article. Doubt I'll go back to finish it.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby BostonSucksMyBalls » 30 Jun 2011, 19:41

someguysomewhere wrote:Thought I got about a third of the way through it, then skimmed to the bottom to see if anything looked worthwhile and saw it was a two page article. Doubt I'll go back to finish it.


keep us updated?
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby IhateTomBrady » 30 Jun 2011, 19:45

SDGuy wrote:
the cheese wrote:
BostonSucksMyBalls wrote:omg anyone who didnt like Waiting needs to be punched in the fucking face.

And Adventureland was geared towards the hipster fruits like Simmons and cheese. It sucked.


I fucking loved Waiting. That movie was great. I blame Justin Long for it not being a bigger hit.

I have no idea what Adventureland is.


I like both Waiting and Adventureland.


I'll cosign on loving "Waiting". That's a great movie. Adventureland was good. I thought the idea behind the article was good but fell through in the execution. I mainly got out of this article that Simmons has terrible taste in movies.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby Gregs Kite » 30 Jun 2011, 20:21

"Waiting" was hysterical.

And I disagree on his dislike of "I Am Legend", one of my favorites from Big Willie Style.

BFP wrote:This is, without a doubt, the stupidest thing I have ever read by Simmons, and that's saying a lot.


Without a doubt, eh? I didn't think it was that horrible. But then again, if I don't like reading an author, I don't read the stuff they write. I'm weird like that.

McNutty makes a good point, especially with regards to Neeson, Oldham and Kinglsey. But Depardieu? Yeah, no.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby BFP » 30 Jun 2011, 20:43

Gregs Kite wrote:"Waiting" was hysterical.

And I disagree on his dislike of "I Am Legend", one of my favorites from Big Willie Style.

BFP wrote:This is, without a doubt, the stupidest thing I have ever read by Simmons, and that's saying a lot.


Without a doubt, eh? I didn't think it was that horrible. But then again, if I don't like reading an author, I don't read the stuff they write. I'm weird like that.

McNutty makes a good point, especially with regards to Neeson, Oldham and Kinglsey. But Depardieu? Yeah, no.


Yes, without a doubt. As in, if somebody were to ask me what I thought the worst Bill Simmons article was, I would list this one.

I'm weird about not reading authors I don't like either. It's why I don't like Rick Reilly. Simmons, on the other hand, sometimes writes things that I like. But I don't like everything he's ever written, and I don't hate everything he's ever written. I'm weird like that.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby Dthefritz » 30 Jun 2011, 21:21

Simmons employs the Bowling for Columbine fallacy (not accounting for handgun/rifle breakdown when comparing gun ownership rates in the US and Canada) in that Ryan Reynolds is only "shoved down our throats" in second and third tier movies.
And sorry to pile on McNutty's generally accurate list, but Orlando Bloom is not a movie star. Although his monologue about a "fiasco" in Elizabethtown is perhaps the greatest bit of meta, fourth-wall busting irony in modern movie history with the possible exception of Mickey Rourke's final speech in "The Wrestler".
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby Brick Tamland » 30 Jun 2011, 21:25

McNutty wrote:
dlpin wrote:Yeah, the argument that "everyone thinks they are movie stars, but they aren't" is one that is silly. Besides, who would be a star by his definition?


Here's his list:

I believe there are 24 male movie stars right now, a funny number since that takes the NBA All-Star analogy full circle. But here's the list: Smith and Leo; Depp and Cruise; Clooney, Damon and Pitt; Downey and Bale; Hanks and Denzel; Stiller and Sandler; Crowe and Bridges; Carell, Rogen, Ferrell and Galifianakis; Wahlberg and Affleck; Gyllenhall (it kills me to put him on here, but there's just no way to avoid it); Justin Timberlake (who became a movie star simply by being so famous that he brainwashed us); and amazingly, Kevin James.


I guess his "movie star" aversion is similar to his Euroballer aversion (Except for Dirk - and Christian Bale and Russell Crowe): Hugh Grant isn't a "movie star"? Colin Firth isn't a "movie star"? Ricky Gervais isn't a "movie star" but fucking Seth Rogen is? Anthony Hopkins isn't a "movie star"? Daniel Day-Lewis isn't a "movie star"? Liam Neeson, Daniel Craig, Ewan MacGregor, Jude Law, Ben Kingsley, Gary Oldham, Ralph Fiennes, and Orlando Bloom aren't "movie stars"? Gerard Depardieu isn't a "movie star" ? Simba shit the bed with this 5000 word piece of drivel, then took a nap in the pile.


Well, seeing as how his premise is "will the presence of Movie Star cause Joe Moviegoer to see a film he/she might otherwise not care to see", I think his list is pretty spot-on for the general non-film-snob public, whereas I couldn't care less about the actors you included on your list. They may be fine actors, but they're not larger-than-life headliners. Orlando Freaking Bloom? Right, HE'S the one who got people out in droves for all the Pirate movies (so much so that he's not in the latest one). Daniel Craig? The James Bond role made HIM relevant, not the other way around. If Liam Neeson were to host SNL, would that drive viewership? Doubtful.
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Re: Apparently Ryan Reynolds isn't a Movie STAR!

Postby Dthefritz » 30 Jun 2011, 21:50

Both of you guys make valid points. My breakdown:
Hugh Grant - was a movie star.
Colin Firth - Jane Moviegoer loooooooves this guy and can blackmail Joe Moviegoer via non-commission of oral sex into 2 tickets. He's in.
Ricky Gervais - Didn't his show fucking tank? Hilarious, but not a movie star.
Hopkins/Day-Lewis: Yes. They're only movie stars once every five years, but even people who live in the fictive small-town paradise of Lou Dobbs' imagination see their movies.
Neeson - Taken did pretty well. That and his high profile in turns in other big movies qualify him in my book.
Daniel Craig - Borderline. Needs to own one more non-Bond blockbuster to establish his bonafides. That and the bonus points for being the least convincing movie Joo since Warren Beatty.
Ewan MacGregor - Maybe for a brief moment, but even if so, the moment's most definitely passed.
Jude Law - Yes.
Ben Kingsley - Sexy Beast, House of Sand and Fog, and You Kill Me were solid, underrated movies, but didn't have broad enough appeal.
Ralph Fiennes - My heart says yes but my head says no. Toughest omission.
Depardeiu - You could make the case that he's in on the grounds of being the one foreign actor who basically guarantees US distribution for movies in his home country without ever having sustained success in American movies. But not by Simmons' definition.

Also, how did you run a list of foreign "movie stars" this long without mentioning Javier Bardem?
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